When opportunity knocks...

2 Thessalonians 3:1 "Pray that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you."

"There is great opportunity right now for the church to spread the word of God in the world and to bring those who are in darkness into light."

I am convinced that this statement is true, not just now, but always. We live in a broken world full of broken people...broken people who want to be made whole. I have been thinking a lot about this recently, and I think that if these people can't find the way to truth, the problem isn't them, it is the church. If we aren't connecting with people, we're not using the right words.

The Word of God is eternal--but the vast majority of what the church does to connect to the world isn't directly mandated in the Word. I am not aware of a directive that says this is what the church should look like--other than; it should be the temple of the Holy Spirit, the bride of Christ, the children of God in one body, united in worship. But the worldly part of us wants to be right, and wants to be in charge. We want everyone to look like us(whoever us may be). And so when the church reaches out to the world I think we try to transform the world into the image of our fathers rather than the image of our Father.

There are a lot of calls to lots of things in the Bible. But as far as I know there isn't anywhere in the Bible where it says that you have to sing a couple songs then pass the offering plate, then have a sermon then sing another song, and all stand up and sit down on cue. There also isn't any place in the Bible that I am aware of that it says that we should divide the church along racial and economic lines. I'm just sayin is all...

But back to my original point. There is a great task and opportunity to sow and reap. Now. But the church has to be willing to reach out to people who wouldn't be caught dead in most churches in this country. It has to be willing to reexamine what it means to worship. and ask the questions: Is the performance we put on every Sunday morning enough? Are we called to be a theater? Or is there something more we should be aiming for?

Don't get me wrong. The message can't change. The gospel is for all time. And the Word is eternal. But it just seems like sometimes we get the delivery all wrong.

A review or two

I was thinking, it's been a while since I wrote a movie review...so I'll write two.

Slumdog Millionaire=exploitative cheesefest

One down one to go

Last night we watched a movie called Gone Baby Gone. I'm not sure what made me watch it. It's about a guy who finds people. In Boston.

Anyway, despite the fact that it had nothing going for it before it started, It turned out to actually be a pretty good movie. So here's the story. This girl gets kidnapped and her aunt goes to the media, and then hires this private investigator to find her. So he follows all sorts of twists and turns to try to find her. I really want to say how it ends, but I won't because I think it would ruin the suspense of the movie for all of you out there who are going to go out and rent it because I said it was good (Ok, I recognize that that number of people is probably close to zero).

Anyway, here's why I liked it.
1. a good well constructed plot. I could often guess what was going to happen next, but not more than maybe 30 seconds before it actually happened. So it wasn't super suspenseful, but it definitely had lots of unsuspected twists and turns. I don't like predictable movies (like SM).
2. It raised real issues and portrayed people actually struggling to figure out what the right thing to do is. The main issue of the movie is "Is it better for a child to live in poverty with their biological family, or in relative affluence with a family not there own? How about if their family leaves them alone at night, or does drugs? And if it is better, who gets to decide that? Can I as a person who cares about children decide to take a child from another family I judge to be doing a poorer job?" A secondary issue is "If the state isn't doing it's job, do the citizens have to right to do it for them? And are drug dealers bad people?"

Just kidding about that last one.

3. It portrays people making decisions about what is right, and acting on those decisions, and then it shows the consequences of those actions. In movies we don't often get to see consequences of real actions. I mean we get to see what happens if I lay 20 pounds of C4 under this building, but we don't get to see people having to clean up the mess. Hollywood often falls into the trap of skipping from action, to actions, to more actions...and we miss all the messiness. And the thing is, life is messy and dirty and painful.

So let's see how SM stands up:
1. What plot? Two kids grow up poor in India and end up making it in the world. One in a respectable job, the other in crime. Then one of them wins a million dollars because they happen to pick 10 questions he actually knows the answer to. I have to say the only unpredictable part of that movie was him jumping in poop.--cheesefest
2.Here's the exploitative part. It doesn't actually deal with any issues. The message of the movie is--hey look at all the poor people. Nobody has to make any decisions or face any consequences for anything.

All that said. SM was a fun movie. It's not bad to have a predictable story. And it's not bad for the good guy to win. It just doesn't make it a great movie.

A diversion

When I was writing that last post it went on too long and I go off on this diversion...so here it is.

Don't get me wrong--I do not want to malign St. Francis. But think about what he did to preach the gospel without words...he gave up the life of Italian nobility and he vowed to not own anything except for the tunic of coarse cloth, a rope to tie it around himself, sandals, and a begging bowl. He was even known to give up these things to help others. He reached out to the lowest members of society--lepers. And he lived the life of a vagabond. In fact if we saw St. Francis on the street today, most of us would consider it "lifestyle evangelism" to give him a few bucks.

In addition, he used words. He was clear about what he expected of his disciples, he taught, and he proclaimed truth in Christ.

But he didn't just do all of this to shock people and to make people ask him what it's all about. He spoke to real issues of his time--issues of inequality, materialism, greed. He did this to renounce the ways of the world, and to bring God's message to men. He left the cloister. He rejected the walls the church had built up around men of faith. And he walked, and walked, and walked, and talked to God, and talked to men, and showed people what real life can be. And when people came to him he taught them, and led them, and made them disciples of Christ.

So I think--if you're going to quote St Francis, you'd better be willing to make your life real. And to seek God's will, and to speak to the issues of our time and not hide behind the walls of the church. To get dirty, to get sick, to lose things, to lose time, to lose opportunity, to lose life.

On lots of posts

Sorry for the volume of words here. I just got back, I've had a lot on my mind, and my wife is still in Florida, so whatever.

Word? or Deed?--what's it gonna be

We are called to two different things: To "feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, invite the stranger in, clothe the naked, visit the sick and imprisoned." And to "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you."

St Francis said: "Preach the gospel always and if necessary use words." The idea I think is that if you live your life in a Christ centered way people will see the light in you and be drawn to Christ. Then, as I have heard it said in many Christian circles, people will ask you, why are you so good--and you can then use words. As far as I can tell that's a load of hooey. I know that I for one have never been asked--why are you so great. That's probably because I'm arrogant, caustic, and, in fact, not all that good. But how about a show of hands. How often is it really that this works?

Words are necessary. I think it is absolutely essential to any mission to speak truth and to make clear the purpose of what we do. I think that most of the time when people begin to talk a lot about lifestyle evangelism (the idea you can convince someone that God exists by the way you live) what they mean is "I'm scared to acknowledge Christ because I think people might think less of me." At least that's what I mean when I start talking about lifestyle evangelism.

And Deeds are necessary. Christ called us to serve the down and out, the have-nots, the children, the needy. Over and over and over again he preached that message. And I don't think the point of good works is to bring people to Christ. He draws us to himself. The point of good works is to express our love for those who are made in the image of God (i.e. all human beings).

Words are not sufficient. James said faith without works is dead. We have to act on our faith and we have to be willing.

Deeds are not sufficient. Without faith, good works are just that. There are lots of people out there who do lots of good things without having any sort of faith. But ultimately they are still broken, without hope.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that in Christ we are filled to overflowing with love for the things that God loves, and that the expression of that is to desire good things for those God has created. And so we preach the gospel to bring life and healing to the dead and broken, and we feed, heal, clothe etc those who cannot make it on their own. Word and Deed are the same thing. They are both essential and important.

In fact I think I can go so far as to say that without the other each one individually is exposed as a lie. We convince ourselves that we're ok--I preach the gospel, I don't have to feed the hungry--or I do good things for people and lead a good life, I don't have to preach the gospel. That is a lie. We are called by Christ to both feed the hungry and feed the hungry.

On labels

So I've been working on going back and labeling the blog entries I've written in the past, now that I've discovered that you can have your labels run down the side of your blog and people can click on them to search.

I do a few every week. So they're not done yet. And won't be for quite a while...but that's neither here nor there. But I have realized that I have written about a lot of topics.

I reported about a year and a half ago that there were no supermarkets in Detroit...I have to say I was relying on a News story, and it was completely false. There are all sorts of grocery stores in Detroit. True there are fewer than you would expect, and they're not really national chains. But they're here. So I formally retract my poorly researched and preachy post.

On garbage and other smelly stuff

Every time I've been to a garbage dump outside of the United States it has been a memorable experience. It always blows my mind that people live on the garbage dump, and work there and actually pick through the trash. And what really gets me is that nobody does anything. I mean there are enough resources in the world that nobody should have to pick through other people's garbage for a living. The only thing I can guess is that people don't realize it's going on. So I'm going to show whoever cares what it looks like. I can't wait until they figure out how to send smells over the internet. Because there isn't any way to explain what it smells like. I suggest though that you wait until your kitchen garbage can is pretty full...then stick it out in the sun for a few days. Then cut eyeholes in the bag and wear it around for a day(don't take the garbage out first). Then you can understand how it smells.

The biggest business on the dump is scrap metal. Other recyclable materials are also gathered and sold. Who do you sell scrap metal if you work on the dump? Well there's always the mob. Of course if you don't sell it to the mob--well what can you do--scrap metal doesn't taste very good. You can guess who gets most of the profit.

They built the school to keep kids off the dump. Unfortunately it doesn't always work that way.

One thing that gets me is the birds. Birds are ok far away. But up close they're dirty and gross. especially when they live by eating trash. And especially when they are vultures.

All sorts of waste gets deposited here. Including agricultural waste and pesticides, and hospital waste with needles and blood and all manner of things. It is not a safe place to grow up.

Going to Honduras

I'm leaving today for Honduras. I'm going to work with an organization called International Samaritan that works with families that live and work on the garbage dumps in Central America. I'm going to San Pedro Sula where they are in the process of building a medical clinic which will be dedicated later this year. We're going to be doing a community health assessment and baseline exams to try to help them determine the most cost effective ways of improving the health of the people there.

I'm excited to go. I hope that it will be a good trip and that I can be reasonably useful to the people there. I am disappointed that I have to leave these two behind though:

Jude the Obscure

So I wrote a group of posts on Jude last week--but I never got around to posting them. I think you can get them all in one place by clicking on the label at the bottom of the post. But of course by the strange rules of blogs, the first will be last and the last will be first.

Anyway, looking back a week later,I have a few more thoughts. One is that I need to remind you that I have no reason to expect anyone to listen to what I have to say, but it's been put on my heart so I'm saying it. Second is that I might be very wrong in what I said, and I am almost certainly a little bit wrong so feel free to say I don't know what I'm talking about.

Third is this:
When David wanted to atone for his sin after he took a census. He went to a man and said I want to buy your threshing floor to make a sacrifice. The man said it's yours, you're the king, take it and the wood and the oxen to make your sacrifice. And David said, no I will purchase it, for I will not offer a sacrifice to God that cost me nothing.

When Jesus spoke of the kingdom of heaven he likened it to a treasure in a field that a man found. When he found it he went and sold everything he had to buy the field.

Following Christ is something that carries a cost. It is a sacrifice that requires everything. When we sign on to fight with Christ, we enlist for a lifelong battle against the forces of evil in the world, both within ourselves and in the world. And the way to do that isn't to complain, or condemn, but to seek God, and reach out in grace and peace to those around us.

On houses in Detroit

I couldn't believe the part about a house being sold for $2000. Unable to contain my curiosity I checked Zillow.com and sure enough, there are LOTS of houses going for
that, or less, and they don't look like they've been trashed nor do they appear to be located in slums and ghettos. I found one in Oak Park for $1000, three bedrooms and two bathrooms, completely updated kitchen and bathrooms, curb appeal... Wha...??????

So now I am REALLY curious. How can this be? What is happening that people are selling their homes for such a pittance? Is the Detroit area suffering from radiation poisoning? Weird mold infestation? Are the winters that bad?

A friend of me sent me this e-mail--it's a sentiment I've heard before, so I thought I'd comment on it. I'm no expert in the economics of home sales--but I think the etiology of this condition is interesting, so here goes.

1. Detroit's infastructure was built to accommodate 5 million people-mostly in single family dwellings. In the fifties, there were more single family homes in Detroit than in any other city in the world. Auto-industry jobs paid well, it was a growth industry, and almost all of the lower management, mid-management, and head honchos for all of the major auto companies worked and lived in the Detroit area.

2. The population topped out just under two million (some estimates say just over 2 million) in the late fifties, and now stands at a somewhere between 750-800 thousand. So there's a huge housing surplus.

3. In the late 90's and early 00's-when gas was cheap and SUV's were in, it looked like the auto companies might turn the corner. The city contracted out the demolition of some of the homes that had been abandoned, Then they convinced all sorts of people to invest heavily in building new housing--condos, apartments, lofts, townhouses. Then gas prices went up, and everybody realized that the auto companies were never going to make it out of the hole.

so a) there's a huge glut of housing in Detroit.
b) nobody in Detroit is confident they will have a job for very long. Even the Detroit Public Schools have had to close the doors of a number of schools to save money and pack more students into fewer classrooms.
c) housing prices are falling nationally anyway
d) the population of Detroit is still going down
e) forclosures have drastically reduced the price buyers have to pay for houses. Banks are unloading houses for a fraction of their former value, just to get them off the books.

On top of all this, taxes are not insignificant in Detroit. It is not uncommon for houses that are selling for 20,000 to have an annual tax bill of 10,000. And the city is very reluctant to lower the taxed value of the home. (an example of the impact of taxes here is the story of the restaurants on the block that was first announced as the location of the casino in town. Their property values shot up due to speculation, their tax bills went up, they went bankrupt, then the location was changed, but they stayed bankrupt and now there's a row of abandoned storefronts.)

The ripples of instability have spread out to neighboring communities, so that property values in nearby towns are also incredibly low.

It's a perfect storm of bad economic news.

Jude takes the gloves off

The more I read the less I understand. Let's push on to the end.

The last thing Jude says about these men is that they are "grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires; they boast about themselves and flatter others for their own advantage."

So when I read this I see a picture of myself. I can't tell you how many times I've sat around complaining about one thing or another. That's why I always get sucked into politics--there's always something to criticize. And I think sometimes that I look actively for ways to talk about how great I am. I feel like David confronted by Nathan--"You are the man!"

And I think that's part of the point--Jude wants to say, don't give up the fight. There is in this world a persistent conflict between the City of God and the City of Man. between the church and the world. Between the kingdom and the earth. We are engaged, we are emissaries, we are the lampstand. So don't give up. Seek God, enter the fire again to refine yourself further. You aren't there yet.

And then he closes with encouragement--there will be evil men, you will face scoffers and men will try to divide you. But build yourselves up in holy faith and pray. Watch out for each other--Be merciful to those in Doubt, snatch others from the fire...

I don't know

I knew it

Political pundits (an most politicians) are just children who happen to be articulate. Their adult bodies just hide their immaturity.

(I just wanted to see if I could put a link in my title)

The government stole an hour from me last night

and I'm not happy about it

Hey Jude

I'm just going to keep going. I don't know if It'll ever make it to publication. But let me preface this with "I don't really know what I'm talking about. I'm just writing what I've been thinking about the last few days.

These men take the truth of God and twist it so that they can use it to heap abuse on others.

So here are some more things Jude says

6. They have taken the way of Cain:
I understand this to mean, holding the best of everything for myself, and offering God what is left over
7. they have rushed for profit into Baalam's error
That is using whatever spiritual gifts and authority I have to bring profit to myself.
8. They have been destroyed in Korah's rebellion
I think this means that they have grasped at spiritual authority that is not theirs, and attempted to speak for God what he has not spoken

Then there is a whole list of descriptions that I don't have the wisdom to decipher. shepherds that feed only themselves, clouds without rain blown along by the wind, autumn treas, without fruit and uprooted twice dead, wild waves of the sea, wandering stars

So as I look at the church leadership that I have witnessed, I see the public voice of the church particularly engaging in 7 and 8, leaders profiting off their positions and gifts and attempting to grasp at temporal power by claiming to speak for God. Consider two examples:

7. People who use the gift of music that God gave them to write worship songs and profit off them. If you want to sing most worship songs at a church service have to pay the person who wrote the song, and the company that collects the money, and the recording company. A similar thing can be said about books. If you write a book to help people grow spiritually, shouldn't you offer it free online?

8. People who "speak for God" and claim that they know what political party God is rooting for. Strangely pastors of large churches who get involved in politics seem to get invited to be the president's spiritual adviser, or to sit on committees or to pray at inaugural addresses or whatever.

When I read 6 I think of the face of Christianity in this country. The vast mass of wealth that walls itself off and does its best to keep the poor people out. That keeps 95 % of its wealth and almost all of its best time for itself. Who has time to go help poor people, or preach the Word in love-I've got a job to do.

I recognize the irony here. I am of course guilty of the very thing I railed against in my last post on the subject. I apologize. Let me be clear though--I think this is just as much an indictment of myself as anyone else.

Who reads Jude anyway

Not very many people. It's kind of wedged in with 2 and 3 John between the more popular 1 John and the more controversial Revelation. I mean, come on, its only 25 verses long. but I noticed today, that it has a pretty potent message-at least I think it does.

We are instructed to contend for the faith. To fight for truth and righteousness and to uphold the cause of Christ.

Part one is a description of a certain sort of person:

1. Who have slipped in among you--we're talking specifically about people in the church.
2. Who change the grace of God into a license for immorality.
3. and and deny Jesus Christ-our only sovereign and Lord.

Ok-so far so good. This should be easy. Just look for the dreamer who

4. pollute their own bodies, reject authority, and slander celestial beings

So far, I thought--I don't even know what you're talking about Jude. I mean--I don't know anyone who goes around saying, "celestial beings are sons of goats" So at about this point my eyes blink and I miss the rest of the book. Lots of people on the other hand pollute all sorts of things and reject God's authority.

Of course, that's when it gets interesting

5. these men speak abusively against whatever they do not understand, and what things they do understand by instinct-like unreasoning animals-this is what destroys them

What if this is an indictment of much of the church today in the United States. I guess I've heard a fair amount of abusive language directed against all sorts of things by Christians. "What, you're a (you could really insert Republican or Democrat here)--well that's just not Christian." Or "you want to live in the city among the poor--well that's just trendy and exhibitionist." or "you live in the suburbs among the wealthy--well that's just selfish and uncaring." or "you think The Shack is better than Pilgrim's Progress--you clearly aren't studying the Word enough."

I don't know--It just seems to me like there's an awful lot of invective and vituperation (yes I know it's pretentious, but it's just a synonym of invective) out there. and a lot of it is coming from Christians. It seems like the church should be a place that people come to when they need love. A place that dispenses grace.

So It seems like Jude is saying "Hey guy's don't make it bad--take a sad world and make it better."

Grace takes what is evil and sinful and makes it whole in Christ. So maybe we have a responsibility to reveal the grace of Christ to the world. To reach out in love and peace rather than judgment and hatred. Look, the world is still going to reject Christ and his followers. But if we follow the example of Christ then we reverse the tide and respond to rejection with love. You know--turn the other cheek and all that other stuff.

On skin

So we're studying dermatology. One thing I've noticed that is a little bit different about this unit is that every lecturer finds it necessary to somehow insert into their lectures, justification for their ridiculous choice of a profession. There's generally one of two routes.

The first can be summed up, "mo money, no problems" Several lecturers had pictures of themselves on vacation--in Greece, Italy, China etc, and one talked for five minutes about how all his kids went to Harvard, others talked at length about how they never have to go into the ER and how they make lots of money.

The second can be summed up "melanoma". At least half the lecturers mentioned skin cancer and its role in their practice. One guy played this clip



Of course there was the one guy who admitted that most of Dermatology is cosmetic work--Botox, chemical peels, scar removal, etc.

Yep the best and the brightest, the doctors who did the best on their board scores and had the best recommendations--making us look better each and every day

PS GOOD THING HE HAS A WIFE TO SECRETLY CHANGE HIS BLOG AND ADD VIDEO!!!

Do you think he can get both hands in his mouth?

On Brigands, toughs, and a band of thieves

I was reading today in 1 Samuel--you know, that book in the Bible. Anyway, I happened to be reading about David. He gets a lot of press, what with killing the giant and all. He also gets a lot of press for watching Bathsheeba take a bath. But the story between the whole "save people from goliath" episode, and the coronation is intriguing. So in the story he's on the run from Saul, the king. He's hanging out in the desert with his band of merry men, doing whatever it is guys with swords and no jobs do--namely kill threaten, steal and the like. He ends up a a hired gun(or sword) for the enemy of the Israelites (his peeps) and eventually volunteers to fight against his own people, the men he once commanded in the army. In between there's the incident with Nabal and Abigail. David sends messengers to Nabal asking for food and supplies. Nabal says, why should I give you help, you're just a brigand. So David decides he is going to kill Nabal and every male in his household. That is until in fear, Abigail sends out the supplies David asked for because she knows he's really a ruthless thief who will kill her husband to get some food. So then David decides not to kill Nabal, but Nabal dies anyway, then DAvid marries Abigail and carries her off to the desert with him.

So anyway, what's the point. As I was reading I was thinking, this is the same story you hear over and over again in history. Some upstart general gets too big for his britches and take his followers off on a wave of pillage and destruction, then tries to take over the throne. It happens anytime there are too many soldiers and not enough jobs.

So I guess the point I'm trying to make, is I always thought that David was this great guy--you know, a man after God's own heart. He was the king, the psalm writer. But he was also a thief, an armed robber, a thug, an adulterer. So where's the rub?

I think one thing that I draw out of this isn't that it's cool to kill some dude, and take his sheep and his wife.

Instead I see God using a regular guy--who is selfish, sinful, etc--to accomplish his ends. To bring his people together, to set the stage, and to encourage his people through the Psalms. And I also see a man who though he continually did things I wouldn't dream of doing, he feared God, and he continued to seek God's will, and he maintained a life of submission to God and his prophets. And I think hey if God can use somebody whose first thought (and action) in conflict resolution is to kill, and who went through wives like sets of clothes, then maybe he can use me somehow, someway

Money Money Money

1.5 trillion dollars is a lot of money.

A penny weighs 3.1 g, so if you had that in pennies it would weigh 465,000,000,000 kg. So given a density of 8.96 g/ml that makes 5189732142 square meters. so if you had a stack of pennies one meter tall, and one mile wide it would be 3243582 miles long--that's enough to wrap around the earth 135 times, or alternatively, you could build thirteen, 1 mile wide towers of pennies to the moon. (

Being the president is kind of like being Robin Hood. You get to steal from the rich to give to the poor. Except it's also kind of like being the Sheriff of Nottingham because you get to pocket a lot of coin. Bill Clinton for example makes more that a 100,000 dollars an hour giving speeches-and it's all tax free. You also get the pleasure of taking money from the rich-then letting them pay lobbyists lots of money to get it back again.

You also get to feel like to banker in monopoly--oh what-we're out of 1,000,000,000,000 dollar bills, let me just go make some more out of construction paper and tape.

Then at the end of the day you get to feel like a successful shopper just back from the mall--sure the defecit is a couple trillion now, but we'll only be 500,000,000,000 dollars a year in the red--so I'm like totally saving tons of money.

Things I like about living in Detroit

Not having to drive 45 minutes to school every day.

The YMCA--42 foot climbing wall, and raquetball courts

Waking up every morning to the sunrise over the river

Mack Avenue Community Church--keeping it real serving the people of Detroit

Liquor stores that accept food stamps

Mexicantown--great food like being home again

Not living in the suburbs

Did I mention not having to drive home at the end of the day

Back in the game

No posts in three months

On Doubt

In the seldom referenced sequel to "Abraham believed and it was credited to him as righteousness" Abraham "fell facedown and laughed to himself, 'will a son really be born to me in my old age?" His doubt did not negate the promise of God.

David said, "My God my God whay have you forsaken me?/Why are you so far from saving me,/so far from the words of my groaning?/Oh my God I cry out by day and you do not answer." Then he goes on to affirm the faithfulness of God. And his doubt did not negate the promise of God.

Zechariah doubted, and was mute...and yet the promise of God was not negated--his son was born.

His son John said "Look the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world." Then later, to the same person said "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else." The reply to his doubt? Not condemnation, but encouragement. "Go back and report to John what you hear and see; the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor."

There are a lot of people who doubt, a lot of people in pain, a lot of people who don't always know what to think. Like me. God seems far away sometimes, or a lot of the time, or what sometimes seems like all the time. Theology doesn't always make sense--as nice as that would be...God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise. Faith is confusing--God is confusing--Life is confusing.

So does that mean that you can believe anything about God? That God is whatever I believe him to be? I don't think so.
God says, "If you seek me you will find me." God is, so all who seek God will find the same God.

I just seems to me that perhaps Doubt is something that is both impossible to escape, and not incompatible with a life of Faith.

100 Days

On economics

Imagine this scenario:

You are the President-elect, and you want to put together an economics advisory team. You want to have an elected official--preferably a governor on the team. So who do you pick...

You could pick someone who has had economic success in an executive position. One of the 30 or so governors in your party who have led their states at least marginally well over the last several years

Or you could pick someone who has guided her state into a one state recession that has lasted six years. You could pick the one person who has shown the distinct ability to overcome the natural advantages afforded by the strength of the American economy and lead her state down the winding path to economic insolvency. Who has stood resolutely astride the path of economic progress and prosperity yelling "Stop!" Who has shown the singular inability to turn economic success into failure over and over again.

Here's your sign

Things I learned at school today: Part 2

I have ADHD.

We have to take Psychiatry, which was really interesting when we were studying Schizophrenia and Mood Disorders, and even addiction. But some of it is just lame. Like Freud.

ADHD is one of the lame things. The definition is broad enough that pretty much everybody I know could be diagnosed. Well at least all the males I know.

Interesting things I learned in School this week.

We learned about drugs this week.

1. Only 25% of acutely intoxicated patients in the Emergency Room are correctly identified as such. So always ask patients if they've had anything to drink.

2. An LSD trip lasts 12 hours. And the quality of the trip is related to your mood. So if you're in a bad mood, don't do acid.

3. Magic Mushrooms bruise blue. So if you're starving in the forest, you know which mushrooms not to eat.

4. One marketed brand of Estrogen is called Premarin, which stands for Pregnant mare urine And that pretty much sums up what it is. It is currently the fourth most prescribed drug in the US.

On Push-ups

On Rolling over

My son

on politics and voting

I would have written this sooner, but I had four tests this week, and we had dinner engagements every single night, so I didn't have time. One thing is true, I didn't intend any judgement. I guess I'm really trying to ask a question rather than tell you you're wrong.

I recognize that voting is perhaps the most sacred part of the cult of the American faith. It is something that we have been taught to value highly. It is something that has been exalted so much it is one of the unquestionables. One of the basic tenets of the American religion is that voting is in and of itself a good thing. If you don't believe me ask yourself how many times you've heard (or said) "It doesn't matter who you vote for, but vote for someone."

So I don't mean to sacrifice the sacred cow, but I want to ask the questions I have that nobody else seems to be asking.

So don't feel judged because I don't have the faintest idea what I'm talking about.

But I do want to rephrase the question so here goes...

1a. If Christ didn't seize political power when he had the chance, then I shouldn't either.
1b. Christ didn't seize political power
So 1c. Neither should I

2a. I should not do anything that involves seizing political power.
2b. To vote is to seize political power
so 3c. I should not vote.

I recognize that there are probably some pretty glaring logical flaws in this argument. Here's my issue...I don't think there are many people who would really try to refute any of the premises, except perhaps 2b. To that objection I can only say that the political power pie may be divided up into really little pieces, but as small as they are, they're still slices of political power and when we vote we take our piece. But here's how the conversation always seems to go:

"...So, you shouldn't seize political power."
"Yes, you're right, but I think that if you can do good and influence the way the government works, (or spends money, or outlaws abortion, or ends war, or whatever)..."
Or alternatively..."yes you're right, but I think that if you pray about who you're going to vote for..."

That's fine if you think that, but personally I have a problem with both of those responses. I am very skeptical about the ability of the government to do good, and about the ability of voters to really influence the way the government works. Rule of the majority tends to be oppressive to the marginalized and beneficial to the elite. But that's a whole other issue.

As far as the second goes I would say that Christ prayed a lot, and he could have become the emperor of Rome and done a lot of good things, but he chose not to. He chose instead to minister to the marginalized of society and let the government do its thing without him.

So I recognize that pretty much everyone who reads this will have an instant reflex rejection. I do, but I'm not sure why. So my question is if it is right to vote...why is it right to vote? and how is this line of reasoning wrong?

I guess ultimately my problem with voting is this: The act of voting itself is an attempt to impose my will on other people. And I'm just not down with that. Trust me, I don't judge you for attempting to impose your will on me. I recognize it as the way of things that some people will rule others, and the government will steal from me every chance it gets. That's life, but I don't want to be one of the rulers.

Just a little piece of pie

It's time to vote. In this country we are bombarded by messages declaring that it is our civic duty to vote..."vote or die", in fact was a major message last time around. Take your little slice of political power. It's like dessert at a buffet. You just ate a big meal, you're not hungry. Now it's time for dessert. (I know, I know, the current political choices are like being offered dessert somebody pulled out of the garbage three weeks ago, left out to grow mold, then fed to a dog who vomited, collected off the floor, put on a plate, and poured battery acid on. but imagine they're apple pie and ice cream). You don't want a slice, but it's free--if you don't eat it you're not getting what you paid for. It is your right and duty to take your little slice of political power.

But be careful, because there's poison in the pie.

Our current political system is based on a lie...correction...all political systems are based on a lie. "There is a legitimate source of power in this world that is not God." Politics is a bandage on a gangrenous wound. It attempts to cover up and correct the inherent sinfulness of human beings and human society. But the foul seepage of septic sin, soaks through the bandage, and it has to be changed. That's why political systems never last forever. The foulness of humanity eventually soaks through even the best laid plans of men. The good news is that as Christians we have the cure...we don't have to participate in the cover-up--we just have to proclaim the truth.

One thing Jesus didn't do, was take political power. He probably could have gone the Caesar route. He was a smart guy and probably could have pulled a few of the power strings to get himself appointed. But he didn't. And the reason for that is that there is a sharp dichotomy between what the world values and recognizes as powerful, and what God values and recognizes and good. Jesus flipped the power structures of the world upside down. He said the poor are blessed, the weak, the meek, and those who seek. We are called to do likewise. So grab that slice of pie--but know that Christ turned it down.

Power naturally oppresses. That is clear in our society...even if it is not intended. The powerful in our society are the wealthy. Yeah the president is powerful, but behind the president are the oligarchs who paid for him to get there. (and this isn't just true of the current president, it is inherent in the system) And the rule of the dollar has left us with places like Detroit, where the broken and destitute abound, abandoned by the centers of power. When we participate in the lie. We allow it to go unspoken. We say "this system works, it is good.

So take that slice of pie...but pray first that you don't choke on the lie you're trying to swallow.

There's a plank in my eye

zip, per capita, median houshold
48105: 34,534, 73,103
85621: 10,691, 22,801
85711: 16,901, 30,909
48201: 11,641, 16,921
49269: 18,905, 48,472

Here he is with his mother

More pictures

Here's his Godfather imitation

Here he is

taxes

Two of my siblings have recently commented on politics on their blogs so I guess I can too.

I think it is hilarious that the Chairman of the House Ways and Means committee (yeah the one in charge of writing the tax code) was cheating on his taxes. I think it's even more funny that despite the fact that he has been on the committee since 1975, his excuse was "I didn't know I was supposed to report that..."

If a man who has spent the last 33 years writing the tax code can't figure it out...

mother and child

another picture

I recognize that I haven't been posting all that much...tough. I have school and a baby to attend to.

So small

Home

Finally

I know it was only four days...it seemed an eternity.

Happiness

Sunlight in his eyes. Fitting him in the carseat. Crossing the threshold with my son.

Here we are.

Mom's sleeping. Ben's on my lap. One hand typing.

Nothing has changed.

They redid the echo...wait and see again, trips to the cardiologist in my future. Nobody really knows what's going to happen with his heart. It could heal itself and only need occasional monitering. It could lnd him back in the hospital. We continue to trust God to do his will.

Everthing has changed.

Life will never be the same...home from the hospital. The place we have prepared for him is finally in use. I put him in the crib I made. He's so small. An actual living thing sleeping in my arms...right now. We continue to thank God for the wonderful gifts he has given, the provision he has made for us.

On hospitals and discontent

We're still at the hospital...day four. Tomorrow Ben will have an echocardiogram to look again at the abnormalities they saw on Friday. I'm not sure what to expect. He seems to be healthy, progressing normally. But I can't see his heart. It is trying to have to wait and see...to not know...to not have any power...to not be able to fix him...to not even know if he still has a problem.

It's a little draining being at the hospital. It is grating to see Bentley constantly attatched to the machines...heart rate...respiratory rate...O2 Sat...Blood Pressure...Temperature. Nurses looking over my shoulder...How much has he eaten...has he pooped yet...was his diaper wet...feeling inadequate. If he doesn't poop, what can I do...how many excuses can I make...

It's also hard to face so much uncertainty. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. I hope and pray that we will be able to take him home tomorrow. Maybe we'll stay...maybe we'll go...maybe he'll have to go to the ICU. And I can't do anything about it.

And so we trust God...to keep our son safe...to give us peace...to guide us into his will...to take us away from this place when the time is right.

gotta represent

Little Ben will be cheering for me tomorrow as I take my test

The Elephant in the Room

I feel, perhaps, that I should communicate my feelings over the last forty-eight hours with the community of people that surround and love us. Because, after all, life is not what we plan, and sometimes God prepares a way for us, that we cannot predict.

My son (I know I'm still getting used to the idea too...it's kind of scary), has Down Syndrome. At least I believe he does. The blood test won't be back until early next week. But the doctors are fairly confident, and so, for that matter, am I (though admittedly my experience is limited.

It has been an interesting experience, communicating this fact to the people I love. Because no one knows how to react. A few people say, "I'm so sorry..." To which I respond "I'm not." Some just say "ok", some "that must be a shock," but the most common reaction is simply silence....or "really???" One friend couldn't figure out if I was joking or not. (I wasn't). Really, I don't know what reaction I expect...I wouldn't know which one to give.

So let me tell our story. Adrienne got pregnant 9 months ago (a predictable number I know). About six months ago she had an ultra sound...everything was normal, then two days later her doctor called. There was a barely perceptible fuzzy spot on the tape. Something that probably was nothing, and something that if it was something, still probably meant nothing. But, if it was there, and it meant something, then in less than two percent of cases it could indicate Down Syndrome. She offered furthur testing, but we really didn't care...it wouldn't have changed how we proceeded. Adrienne and I talked at length about it. Down Syndrome was something we had never imagined for our children. We feel called to reach out together to at risk, and special needs children...but our own offspring. It hadn't occured to us. But we prayed about it together.

Two days later, at school we had a panel of families with children with Down Syndrome. And it was incredible. The kids that came were some of the cutest, friendliest, happiest kids I had ever encountered. And I learned there to see children with Down Syndrome as children...who just needed a little extra care. On my way home that day, I prayed for our child (I didn't know it was a he yet) and I prayed that God would open my heart to whatever he had in store for us. And I prayed that if our child did have Down Syndrome, that I would rejoice in thanksgiving. That evening, Adrienne and I prayed together again, that we would accept whatever he had in store for us with joy.

I continued, throughout Adrienne's pregnancy, to experience God's work preparing my heart to accept his will. As I prayed for our child I knew the bond was forming between us, despite our physical separation.

So, when he was taken to the NICU, I went with him, to watch him begin to breath. When the pediatrician called in the neonatologist, I knew. When she said the words, my heart leapt for joy. God has blessed us with a child who will bring light and joy into our house. It is right, It is good. It is not a difficult thing to accept, or something to get used to. God has already done that work in our hearts. My son has Down Syndrome, and I am glad.

I know it will be difficult. I know that there will be trouble. I know that my life will never be the same. I also know that all of those things would be true if he didn't have Down Syndrome.

here they are

For those of you not here

here are a few pictures, more to follow

fun and games

med school friends came to visit the first night

mother and child

look at him

welcome

On Disparities and Health

We had a lecture today from one Dr. Flack, a very interesting man whose lectures I always enjoy. The topic was health disparities, specifically disputing a number of common assumptions.
1. For example "There are health disparities between races." In reality the genetic differences between races are minor. The reason African Americans and Hispanics appear to be disadvantaged is that they are disproportionately poor. Now that in and of itself is a result of disparities in economic opportunity...but African Americans are not inherently unhealthier than other groups.

2. "The United States spends the most on Health Care but still lags most other developed countries in Health Status." There is a false assumption here: the medical establishment can create good health in a population. The truth is, most diseases of high prevalence in the developed world are dependent on choices made by individuals years before the disease presents itself. The fact that Americans choose to live unhealthy lifestyles leads to the poor results on international surveys. Spending more money won't fix that.

As Americans we have gotten used to the idea that you can buy your way into anything. But in medicine there is a limit. The only way to improve health generally is to convince people to live healthier lifestyles.

There is one group of people, however who are consistently disadvantaged when it comes to medical care...the poor. They live disproportionately in cites, where access to fresh fruits and vegetables is limited, and fast food abounds. Where it isn't safe to be outside at night, the only time many people could exercise. They have less access to education, they drop out more (educational attainment is the single biggest determinant of health status) And there are fewer medical clinics and hospitals to serve the populations of urban poor. Consistently underserved.

back in the game

As anyone who has checked this blog in the last month will recognize, there is a post dated July fourth that was never there. This is one big reason I haven't posted in so long. I wasn't sure if I should post this and it kind of got stuck in the pipeline blocking up my flow of ideas. But I guess I should put it out there. At first I thought it might offend people. And it might. Then I thought, well it's been a while...and so it has. Then I thought, I'll think of something else, but nothing came. So today I edited it for readability...which doesn't mean it's readable. but there you have it.

I've also added a small post to go along with the other

On nationality

So Steven wrote some time ago about the experience of being an American in Russia (which would probably be a bit more tense now than it was just a few months ago).

He wrote "So then, I told her, what separates us? Legal fictions, Bokononian categories that hinder intimacy. We have said, and shall always say, that we who know Jesus have more in common with an Iraqi Christian than with an American non-Christian. We must come at others with these two categories in mind only, no supremacy, no victory. Just those IN CHRIST who will fellowship on that level."


I think Steven, that you are correct. When I first began to travel, I found myself often trying to defend the actions of the United States. Now that I understand that I have more incommon with a Christian from any country than an American who isn't a Christian, I can say..."I don't agree with that." And I can claim my citizenship in the kingdom of heaven to say, "the false reality you call 'the United States' does not define what I think or do and is not a real pert of my identity in Christ."


Anyway...I've said enough

Independance Day

A couple years ago, the fourth of July fell close to a Sunday. Adrienne and I went to a church in Tucson we had been told was deficient in preaching and music, but had great fellowship (we went four times and no one even acknowledged our existence). The whole service was geared towards the celebration of the fourth of July. We sang God Bless America, and America the Beautiful...the sermon was about how God has blessed this great country...

At Willow Creek there is an American flag displayed outside the sanctuary. Willow Creek is notorious for, among other things, not allowing any crosses to be put up in the church for fear they might offend new visitors.

Over the last 30 years, the church in the United States has become identified with one particular political party, and has become increasingly vocal in its acts of patriotism. Many church leaders have even been known to advocate war to defend and advance the causes of this particular nation.

If you don't believe me, check this out www.bushfish.org (I don't know how to turn this into a link or I would.) (Also if you have a weak stomach don't go to the site)

In Rome, the state was held together, in part by the cult of the emperor and by faith in and loyalty to the state apparatus. When the new Christian faith began to spread its members were denounced as atheists, as disloyal, as unpatriotic. And they responded by saying, "We have a new emperor now, who demands our allegiance, and we are faithful to him." Paul said to the new believers "Our struggle is against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world," as well as "the spiritual forces for evil." John, exiled for his lack of faith in Domatian, wrote of Rome as the whore, Babylon, and called the church to be faithful unto death, to Christ.

Rome brought peace and prosperity to the lands it conquered (as well as, at least initially a lot of death and despair). It spread the rule of law across a wide swath of territory. Rome defended itself with its powerful army, and it fought preemptive wars to head off potential threats on the fringes of its empire. Rome was a place of great technological advance and innovation, of great buildings, and large cities. Rome was a place the gods had blessed...until it fell collapsed upon itself, crushed by its own weight, its carcass picked clean by barbarian invaders.

If you replaced "Rome" with "United States" in that paragraph it would still be true...well the last bit is still ahead of us. And I think that everything that the New Testament says about Rome is true of the United States. We are not called to be loyal to the government. We are not called to be loyal to a nation.

Don't get me wrong...I'm happy to live in the United States...most of the time. In a lot of ways it is a better place to live than, say, Haiti. In fact very few people would choose Haiti over the United States.

But I think that a lot of the time the church in the United States forgets that even if you live in the best, most comfortable Babylon on Earth...She's still a whoring seductress that we are called to struggle against, to stand up to, to not pledge our allegiance to.

My loyalty is to Christ and to the church. My hope and my faith are found in the redemptive power of the cross. Not the power of the US military. So when the United States decides to go to war, I don't have any responsibility to support that...on the contrary, I have a duty to stand with Christians in Iraq (or anywhere else our government sees fit to attack) and say stop.

When I was younger than I am now, I accepted the idea that war could accomplish good. I accepted the idea that I should be loyal to my country. That supporting one country over another was permissible. I gloried in the history of the United States military. I devoured the history books, watching for examples of American valor and heroism. I looked up and saw a government to be proud of. Now I see a tale of death and destruction. I see a government to be ignored and when necessary resisted. What happened?

So fireworks are fun. So are barbecues. I think I'll try to have both.

A zoom with a view--pictures from the road

Here is a typical small settlement in the biggest arable region in Haiti--the valley that contains Dessallines. The view from the road is dotted with these little mini settlements where people who grow rice on state-owned land live. The houses are made of mud held together with the occasional rock, and sticks, and generally a metal roof. A few of the houses are made out of cement blocks(for obvious reasons, this is considered an upgrade).



Farming is a relatively simple (though incredibly arduous) affair. Hand tools are the rule, though emaciated livestock do lend a hand. (I love it when I can start and end a sentence on the same word). I did see a few rusty tractors stuck in the mud. The farmers here don't have the means to purchase farming equipment (in fact a lot of their hand tools are hand tooled). But even if they did, they're not farming their own land so there's little incentive, and even if they had the means and the incentive, most of them have no education (by "no education" I don't mean they dropped out of high school--I mean it literally), the only thing they know about farming is what they are doing.



This lady is protesting. The road was blocked by people walking in the road waving branches (or leaves, the branches cooked last night's non-supper). Protests are becoming more common in Haiti (well there's kind of an ebb and flow to the cycle of protests--over the last six months the pendulum has been swinging up). About a month before I went all of the windows up and down Delmar--one of the main roads in Port au Prince--were broken by protesters upset by the price of food.

This woman and those with her were upset about the price of fertilizer. A year ago a bag cost $200 Haitian, Now it costs 600. The land these farmers farm is state owned--they get paid a set amount of money for the rice they grow. this is how the government can make money selling rice even when the price of raw materials goes up--they pass the cost onto the farmers.

The government sells the rice on the global market because it can make more money...then cheaper rice (less filling is the description I got) is imported and taxed so it costs the average Haitian more than they got paid for the better rice they grew in their own fields (or state owned fields).


Just for comparisons sake





This is a house up on the mountain overlooking Port au Prince--where the upper class lives. Lifestyles of the rich and famous. ok, probably not famous.

Ok, maybe that's a little shocking, you might ask--how could they live like that, while those in the valley suffer?

But think about this--the difference between the poor and the rich is even greater in the US. The poor here just aren't as shocking--maybe we're just used to them.

Shoot--why criticize the rich--here's where I live. How can I possibly talk about poverty?




I know that I've said a lot of things on this blog about poverty and how hard people in Haiti have it...to tell you the truth, more often than not I feel like a failure, a hypocrite, and snakeoil salesman. I want you to be moved by the pictures, by my words...but I sit here, typing on a computer in a climate controlled room, stuff, stuff, stuff...all around, invading my life, suffocating me, killing possibility...

"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God"

PS

I am back and healthy and Adrienne and I are heading out for a little retreat. 17 days is a long time to be apart.

Back in a few

Forget John Owen

Rich Mullins once said at a Wheaton College Chapel service

"You guys are all into that born again thing, which is great. We do need to be born again, since Jesus said that to a guy named Nicodemus. But if you tell me I have to be born again to enter the kingdom of God, I can tell you that you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that to one guy too...


...But I guess that's why God invented highlighters, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest."

dead babies and other assorted travesties

Today a woman came into the hospital. She was in severe pain, but noone is really sure what the cause is.

The hospital here is very effective at treating common ailments, and at doing realatively simple procedures. But, for anything less common, it is very difficult. There are a lot of reasons for that, which I hope to discuss later...

So there's not a lot that can be done for the woman. She can go to Port au Prince, where they might be able to figure it out...except she probably can't go to Port au Prince because that costs money...which she doesn't have. Either she'll get better or she won't.

It gets even more complicated though...she recently had a baby. During her pregnancy she had eclampsia, and she ended up having a C-section. The baby got sick and died twelve days ago. Infant mortality (every type of mortality...and morbidity for that matter) is high here. Malaria is deadly...90 percent of its victims are under five. Diahrrea is deadly (unless you rehydrate with electrolyte solution--which costs all of 10 cents a day or so for a child). Malnutrition is deadly...walking in the street is deadly...machetes are lethal...In short, the deck is stacked against children. We forget this, because we have put up walls around our children.

And a furthur complication...she doesn't know the baby is dead yet. Her family hasn't told her...they told her they sent the baby to a hospital in Port au Prince. This too is apparently not all that uncommon. They can't figure out how to tell her...and how exactly do you tell a woman that her child is dead?

Hip Hip Hoorah

ADRIENNE

I just want to say "I love you"

Happy Anniversary

Three years and counting

EVERYONE ELSE

sorry for the mush

but it's my blog

and I can say whatever I want.

Don't read this post

SERIOUSLY

IF YOU GET NIGHTMARES IT'S NOT MY FAULT




Yesterday a girl came into the hospital with her father. She had recently given birth. She presented with sever burns on the inside of her legs up to her buttocks. The wounds were infected.

One of the folk medicine beliefs here is that after giving birth a woman has to be cleansed. The method for this is to sit over a pot of boiling water and let the vapors purify you. So an older woman in this girls family made her do this. They held her over the fire...she must have been screaming and squirming...there's no way she could have just sat there. They held her there until her skin burned off. Then to bandage the wound they mixed ashes with water to make a paste and spread it on.

She didn't give birth in the hospital because they live a long ways away and couldn't afford it. Finally her father brought her in. Turns out her baby wa sick too. It wasn't getting adequate nourishment because her body was under such stress.



I WARNED YOU

Some things to think about

The standard measurement of rice in the market is a small can that holds about two cups. It currently sells for 6 Haitian dollars or slightly less than what more than half of Haitians live on...one US dollar. According to the bag that rice comes in in the US that's eight servings and 1020 calories. No vitamins. (except the ones in rice) a small amount of protein.

So if you made an average amount of money and spent all of it on rice you would still be undernourished and malnourished and you couldn't support your children or wife.

That's why everywhere you go are small gardens. I climbed up to the forts with the medical director of the hospital today. It took about three hours to get up there. We left at five. On our way back down we came a different way through a valley (ok not a valley...cleft in the mountain) that gets enough rain and has enough soil to support (or at least tolerate) crops. We were still a couple hours walking from town when the gardens began. People farming small plots with corn, or beans, lower down there were a few banana trees. In some places mango trees(mango trees would be a good investment...except that they all ripen at the same time so everybody's out selling rotting mangos on the streets together).

Cooking rice without gas, electricity or wood is difficult....so you have to buy charcoal...or go cut your own wood...except there isn't any wood. The only place where we saw any wood was up at the very top of the mountain...and even there the trees were stumps with twigs growing out of them. Every branch that could be cut with a machete had been cut. And there was a guy up there with his machete, cutting away at the twigs that had grown up since the last time he was there.

So you've got rice...and wood to cook it...toasted rice, yum. Or you can go get water. So you take a five gallon bucket, or whatever container you have and walk to the spring. You pump your water and walk back. If there isn't any rain you're going to have to carry that five gallon bucket full straight up the mountain to water your little patch of ground. There were people doing this. (and when I say straight up I mean it...when all of your time is spent trying to survive you don't have time for switchbacks)

If you're still reading...which I recognize most of you aren't....think about this.

The price of food in Haiti has gone up, just like it has in he US. But unlike the US where food costs consume around 9 percent of our budget, in Haiti food takes up almost the whole budget. So what do you get rid of to pay for food, when food was all you were buying in the first place.

Schools run by churches used to feed children hot meals five days a week. Now most are down to two days a week...a few still do three days. Except the meal is smaller than it used to be, no meat, no vegetables...rice and beans. (and not very many beans)

bugs and bugs

So last night I was sitting up reading a little. My light was on...I looked up and there were 40+ species of insect in bed with me...literally, I counted as well as I could. They ranged from a couple inches to barely visible. And I have screens on all my windows. Imagine life without screens.

Today was really my first full day at the hospital...I knew that there are a lot of diseases in Haiti that really don't exist anymore in other places. I just didn't realize how prevelant they are. I only saw around ten patients and I saw two cases of malaria, one of typhoid, one of TB, and another of scabies. One of the malaria cases was a 14 month old little girl. She ended up staying in the hospital.

hospital time

Today was a slow day at the hospital apparently. Could have fooled me...can't wait to see it on a busy day.

I was able to communicate with a number of the doctors. Apparently under Aristide the goverment started handing out scholarships to study medicine in Cuba....which is good since Cuba trains pretty good doctors. So a few of the doctors at the hospital speak Spanish well. so I talked in Spanish more than English and Creole combined today.

the biggest business at the hospital is the maternity ward. Haiti has a high birth rate and a high infant mortality rate. Because of the lack of prenatal care eclampsia (that's what preelcampsia becomes if left untreated--pretty rare in the US) is a major problem. The have a whole room of beds devoted to it.

Judging how busy the hospital is difficult because every admited patient brings at least one guest to take care of them, prepare their food etc. This keeps prices down, but increases crowdedness.

peace

National Highway 1

Today we drove to Desallines--the first capital of Haiti. On the mountain that stretches above it there is a series of five forts built to watch for the return of Napoleans troops.

Most of our journey was along National Highway 1 which connects the two biggest cities--Port au Prince and Cape Hatien. It's about one and a half lanes, with no markings, and often no road. Four-wheel drive is a virtual neccessity to navigate certain stretches. Potholes that could swallow your car abound. Piles of garbage line the road outside cities. One famous thing about Haiti is its lack of trees. This country has attained the unique distinction of 98 percent deforestation. And there's not much hope for reforestation. Charcoal is the main fuel for most people--gas is prohibitively expensive to the 65-70 percent of Hatians who live on less than one dollar a day. Of course lots of other things are prohibitively expensive...meat...shelter not made out of dried mud...medicine...etc (it's a long list)

Two stories.

We stopped to talk to the gentlemen who work at a sawmill along the road...They had a huge log (maybe 8' long, 18" in diameter) up on some tall (7-8') homemade sawhorses. One guy was standing on the log, the other guy underneath and they were cutting the log into 8-10 boards with a two person saw. Push Pull, Push Pull. They said it took them about half a day to do each log.

We also stopped to talk to a woman who works in the construction business. Rocks, sticks and mud are the main materials for house construction. Cement blocks for the wealthy. Her job was to break up big rocks into little rocks of varying sizes to use un mud walls or cement mixing for roads. Essentially her job was to make gravel out of boulders....her tool? a hammer. All day, sitting on a pile of rocks banging at them with a hammer.

haiti

I know it's been a while

I've been busy.

Actually, I don't know why I haven't posted.

I'm in Haiti now. Port au Prince to be exact. I flew in last night. The flight was uneventful

What an interesting place. Colorful, alive. Loud, vibrant. Hot, but not that hot, just unairconditioned

as in most places I've been, the rich live above everyone else, literally. The higher you go in the hills, the nicer it gets.

Everything is made out of concrete. Wood gets termites too easily.

goats, cows, chickens, and corn (like the plants, not just for sale) are common in the city streets.

When I flew in the customs officials had run out of the green forms for entry'exit visas, without which you can't enter the country. The only person who had any was this one lady, behind a counter, upon whom descended the mob as soon as we entered the terminal. She had a small stack...not nearly enough for everyone who needed one. She insisted on filling the forms out for everyone...except occasionally someone would yell at her loud enough or say the magic words to convince her to give them one. she ran out...then opened her drawer and pulled out a slightly larger pile...repeat process. the crush of people threatening to crush the counter. after thirty minutes her second pile was gone, only 20 or so remained. She calmly, without any apparent awareness of her own ridiculousity, walked over to a cupboard, and pulled out a stack of several hundred forms and passed them out to all who remained.

On brains and sledgehammers

On Friday I took a test. It was in Neuro. I studied for it all week. I basically didn' do anything last week except study for this test. And it was a brutally hard test.

I woke up on Friday morning with a headache. I didn't sleep well the night before because I had a lot on my mind. So I woke up with a headache. Usually such headaches kind of go away as the day goes on. They kind of wear away. I get them all the time...probably because I don't sleep as much as I should. Clouds also seem to increase their intensity...but that's neither here nor there.

The point is, I started praying when I woke up that I wouldn't have a headache for the test and that I would still be able to do well. I kept it up all day...I can see why monks uses to flog themselves or put their thumbs in vice grips. Pain really tends to focus your mind on prayer.

But this stupid headache wouldn' go away...at least all the way. It diminished to the point where it was only a minor disturbance to my stream odf thought. My test was at one. So I took the test, and while I was taking it I was a little annoyed that I still had a headache. I thought, "So much for this prayer thing"

As I said it was a brutal test. They picked out the minutest details to test upon and wrote the questions to confuse and flummox even the most prepared of test-takers.

When I left the room, I felt like someone had hit me on the head with a sledgehammer as I walked through the door. I could barely walk. I still had to drive home. So there I was driving home with sunglasses on and my eyes half closed to keep out the light, with tears flowing down my face. Luckily there wasn't much traffic. And I was able to hold off the pain induced discharge of gastric contents until I got home. It was one of the worst headaches I've had in a long time.

So praise God for headaches

computer virus

This morning I was checking my email and a little window popped up that said "I want to talk to you."

I unplugged the computer in an effort to reestablish my dominance over all electronic life forms.

I don't ever want to talk to my computer.