In the seldom referenced sequel to "Abraham believed and it was credited to him as righteousness" Abraham "fell facedown and laughed to himself, 'will a son really be born to me in my old age?" His doubt did not negate the promise of God.
David said, "My God my God whay have you forsaken me?/Why are you so far from saving me,/so far from the words of my groaning?/Oh my God I cry out by day and you do not answer." Then he goes on to affirm the faithfulness of God. And his doubt did not negate the promise of God.
Zechariah doubted, and was mute...and yet the promise of God was not negated--his son was born.
His son John said "Look the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world." Then later, to the same person said "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else." The reply to his doubt? Not condemnation, but encouragement. "Go back and report to John what you hear and see; the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor."
There are a lot of people who doubt, a lot of people in pain, a lot of people who don't always know what to think. Like me. God seems far away sometimes, or a lot of the time, or what sometimes seems like all the time. Theology doesn't always make sense--as nice as that would be...God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise. Faith is confusing--God is confusing--Life is confusing.
So does that mean that you can believe anything about God? That God is whatever I believe him to be? I don't think so.
God says, "If you seek me you will find me." God is, so all who seek God will find the same God.
I just seems to me that perhaps Doubt is something that is both impossible to escape, and not incompatible with a life of Faith.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
On economics
Imagine this scenario:
You are the President-elect, and you want to put together an economics advisory team. You want to have an elected official--preferably a governor on the team. So who do you pick...
You could pick someone who has had economic success in an executive position. One of the 30 or so governors in your party who have led their states at least marginally well over the last several years
Or you could pick someone who has guided her state into a one state recession that has lasted six years. You could pick the one person who has shown the distinct ability to overcome the natural advantages afforded by the strength of the American economy and lead her state down the winding path to economic insolvency. Who has stood resolutely astride the path of economic progress and prosperity yelling "Stop!" Who has shown the singular inability to turn economic success into failure over and over again.
Here's your sign
You are the President-elect, and you want to put together an economics advisory team. You want to have an elected official--preferably a governor on the team. So who do you pick...
You could pick someone who has had economic success in an executive position. One of the 30 or so governors in your party who have led their states at least marginally well over the last several years
Or you could pick someone who has guided her state into a one state recession that has lasted six years. You could pick the one person who has shown the distinct ability to overcome the natural advantages afforded by the strength of the American economy and lead her state down the winding path to economic insolvency. Who has stood resolutely astride the path of economic progress and prosperity yelling "Stop!" Who has shown the singular inability to turn economic success into failure over and over again.
Here's your sign
Things I learned at school today: Part 2
I have ADHD.
We have to take Psychiatry, which was really interesting when we were studying Schizophrenia and Mood Disorders, and even addiction. But some of it is just lame. Like Freud.
ADHD is one of the lame things. The definition is broad enough that pretty much everybody I know could be diagnosed. Well at least all the males I know.
We have to take Psychiatry, which was really interesting when we were studying Schizophrenia and Mood Disorders, and even addiction. But some of it is just lame. Like Freud.
ADHD is one of the lame things. The definition is broad enough that pretty much everybody I know could be diagnosed. Well at least all the males I know.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Interesting things I learned in School this week.
We learned about drugs this week.
1. Only 25% of acutely intoxicated patients in the Emergency Room are correctly identified as such. So always ask patients if they've had anything to drink.
2. An LSD trip lasts 12 hours. And the quality of the trip is related to your mood. So if you're in a bad mood, don't do acid.
3. Magic Mushrooms bruise blue. So if you're starving in the forest, you know which mushrooms not to eat.
4. One marketed brand of Estrogen is called Premarin, which stands for Pregnant mare urine And that pretty much sums up what it is. It is currently the fourth most prescribed drug in the US.
1. Only 25% of acutely intoxicated patients in the Emergency Room are correctly identified as such. So always ask patients if they've had anything to drink.
2. An LSD trip lasts 12 hours. And the quality of the trip is related to your mood. So if you're in a bad mood, don't do acid.
3. Magic Mushrooms bruise blue. So if you're starving in the forest, you know which mushrooms not to eat.
4. One marketed brand of Estrogen is called Premarin, which stands for Pregnant mare urine And that pretty much sums up what it is. It is currently the fourth most prescribed drug in the US.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
Sunday, November 02, 2008
on politics and voting
I would have written this sooner, but I had four tests this week, and we had dinner engagements every single night, so I didn't have time. One thing is true, I didn't intend any judgement. I guess I'm really trying to ask a question rather than tell you you're wrong.
I recognize that voting is perhaps the most sacred part of the cult of the American faith. It is something that we have been taught to value highly. It is something that has been exalted so much it is one of the unquestionables. One of the basic tenets of the American religion is that voting is in and of itself a good thing. If you don't believe me ask yourself how many times you've heard (or said) "It doesn't matter who you vote for, but vote for someone."
So I don't mean to sacrifice the sacred cow, but I want to ask the questions I have that nobody else seems to be asking.
So don't feel judged because I don't have the faintest idea what I'm talking about.
But I do want to rephrase the question so here goes...
1a. If Christ didn't seize political power when he had the chance, then I shouldn't either.
1b. Christ didn't seize political power
So 1c. Neither should I
2a. I should not do anything that involves seizing political power.
2b. To vote is to seize political power
so 3c. I should not vote.
I recognize that there are probably some pretty glaring logical flaws in this argument. Here's my issue...I don't think there are many people who would really try to refute any of the premises, except perhaps 2b. To that objection I can only say that the political power pie may be divided up into really little pieces, but as small as they are, they're still slices of political power and when we vote we take our piece. But here's how the conversation always seems to go:
"...So, you shouldn't seize political power."
"Yes, you're right, but I think that if you can do good and influence the way the government works, (or spends money, or outlaws abortion, or ends war, or whatever)..."
Or alternatively..."yes you're right, but I think that if you pray about who you're going to vote for..."
That's fine if you think that, but personally I have a problem with both of those responses. I am very skeptical about the ability of the government to do good, and about the ability of voters to really influence the way the government works. Rule of the majority tends to be oppressive to the marginalized and beneficial to the elite. But that's a whole other issue.
As far as the second goes I would say that Christ prayed a lot, and he could have become the emperor of Rome and done a lot of good things, but he chose not to. He chose instead to minister to the marginalized of society and let the government do its thing without him.
So I recognize that pretty much everyone who reads this will have an instant reflex rejection. I do, but I'm not sure why. So my question is if it is right to vote...why is it right to vote? and how is this line of reasoning wrong?
I guess ultimately my problem with voting is this: The act of voting itself is an attempt to impose my will on other people. And I'm just not down with that. Trust me, I don't judge you for attempting to impose your will on me. I recognize it as the way of things that some people will rule others, and the government will steal from me every chance it gets. That's life, but I don't want to be one of the rulers.
I recognize that voting is perhaps the most sacred part of the cult of the American faith. It is something that we have been taught to value highly. It is something that has been exalted so much it is one of the unquestionables. One of the basic tenets of the American religion is that voting is in and of itself a good thing. If you don't believe me ask yourself how many times you've heard (or said) "It doesn't matter who you vote for, but vote for someone."
So I don't mean to sacrifice the sacred cow, but I want to ask the questions I have that nobody else seems to be asking.
So don't feel judged because I don't have the faintest idea what I'm talking about.
But I do want to rephrase the question so here goes...
1a. If Christ didn't seize political power when he had the chance, then I shouldn't either.
1b. Christ didn't seize political power
So 1c. Neither should I
2a. I should not do anything that involves seizing political power.
2b. To vote is to seize political power
so 3c. I should not vote.
I recognize that there are probably some pretty glaring logical flaws in this argument. Here's my issue...I don't think there are many people who would really try to refute any of the premises, except perhaps 2b. To that objection I can only say that the political power pie may be divided up into really little pieces, but as small as they are, they're still slices of political power and when we vote we take our piece. But here's how the conversation always seems to go:
"...So, you shouldn't seize political power."
"Yes, you're right, but I think that if you can do good and influence the way the government works, (or spends money, or outlaws abortion, or ends war, or whatever)..."
Or alternatively..."yes you're right, but I think that if you pray about who you're going to vote for..."
That's fine if you think that, but personally I have a problem with both of those responses. I am very skeptical about the ability of the government to do good, and about the ability of voters to really influence the way the government works. Rule of the majority tends to be oppressive to the marginalized and beneficial to the elite. But that's a whole other issue.
As far as the second goes I would say that Christ prayed a lot, and he could have become the emperor of Rome and done a lot of good things, but he chose not to. He chose instead to minister to the marginalized of society and let the government do its thing without him.
So I recognize that pretty much everyone who reads this will have an instant reflex rejection. I do, but I'm not sure why. So my question is if it is right to vote...why is it right to vote? and how is this line of reasoning wrong?
I guess ultimately my problem with voting is this: The act of voting itself is an attempt to impose my will on other people. And I'm just not down with that. Trust me, I don't judge you for attempting to impose your will on me. I recognize it as the way of things that some people will rule others, and the government will steal from me every chance it gets. That's life, but I don't want to be one of the rulers.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Just a little piece of pie
It's time to vote. In this country we are bombarded by messages declaring that it is our civic duty to vote..."vote or die", in fact was a major message last time around. Take your little slice of political power. It's like dessert at a buffet. You just ate a big meal, you're not hungry. Now it's time for dessert. (I know, I know, the current political choices are like being offered dessert somebody pulled out of the garbage three weeks ago, left out to grow mold, then fed to a dog who vomited, collected off the floor, put on a plate, and poured battery acid on. but imagine they're apple pie and ice cream). You don't want a slice, but it's free--if you don't eat it you're not getting what you paid for. It is your right and duty to take your little slice of political power.
But be careful, because there's poison in the pie.
Our current political system is based on a lie...correction...all political systems are based on a lie. "There is a legitimate source of power in this world that is not God." Politics is a bandage on a gangrenous wound. It attempts to cover up and correct the inherent sinfulness of human beings and human society. But the foul seepage of septic sin, soaks through the bandage, and it has to be changed. That's why political systems never last forever. The foulness of humanity eventually soaks through even the best laid plans of men. The good news is that as Christians we have the cure...we don't have to participate in the cover-up--we just have to proclaim the truth.
One thing Jesus didn't do, was take political power. He probably could have gone the Caesar route. He was a smart guy and probably could have pulled a few of the power strings to get himself appointed. But he didn't. And the reason for that is that there is a sharp dichotomy between what the world values and recognizes as powerful, and what God values and recognizes and good. Jesus flipped the power structures of the world upside down. He said the poor are blessed, the weak, the meek, and those who seek. We are called to do likewise. So grab that slice of pie--but know that Christ turned it down.
Power naturally oppresses. That is clear in our society...even if it is not intended. The powerful in our society are the wealthy. Yeah the president is powerful, but behind the president are the oligarchs who paid for him to get there. (and this isn't just true of the current president, it is inherent in the system) And the rule of the dollar has left us with places like Detroit, where the broken and destitute abound, abandoned by the centers of power. When we participate in the lie. We allow it to go unspoken. We say "this system works, it is good.
So take that slice of pie...but pray first that you don't choke on the lie you're trying to swallow.
But be careful, because there's poison in the pie.
Our current political system is based on a lie...correction...all political systems are based on a lie. "There is a legitimate source of power in this world that is not God." Politics is a bandage on a gangrenous wound. It attempts to cover up and correct the inherent sinfulness of human beings and human society. But the foul seepage of septic sin, soaks through the bandage, and it has to be changed. That's why political systems never last forever. The foulness of humanity eventually soaks through even the best laid plans of men. The good news is that as Christians we have the cure...we don't have to participate in the cover-up--we just have to proclaim the truth.
One thing Jesus didn't do, was take political power. He probably could have gone the Caesar route. He was a smart guy and probably could have pulled a few of the power strings to get himself appointed. But he didn't. And the reason for that is that there is a sharp dichotomy between what the world values and recognizes as powerful, and what God values and recognizes and good. Jesus flipped the power structures of the world upside down. He said the poor are blessed, the weak, the meek, and those who seek. We are called to do likewise. So grab that slice of pie--but know that Christ turned it down.
Power naturally oppresses. That is clear in our society...even if it is not intended. The powerful in our society are the wealthy. Yeah the president is powerful, but behind the president are the oligarchs who paid for him to get there. (and this isn't just true of the current president, it is inherent in the system) And the rule of the dollar has left us with places like Detroit, where the broken and destitute abound, abandoned by the centers of power. When we participate in the lie. We allow it to go unspoken. We say "this system works, it is good.
So take that slice of pie...but pray first that you don't choke on the lie you're trying to swallow.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
There's a plank in my eye
zip, per capita, median houshold
48105: 34,534, 73,103
85621: 10,691, 22,801
85711: 16,901, 30,909
48201: 11,641, 16,921
49269: 18,905, 48,472
48105: 34,534, 73,103
85621: 10,691, 22,801
85711: 16,901, 30,909
48201: 11,641, 16,921
49269: 18,905, 48,472
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Saturday, September 06, 2008
taxes
Two of my siblings have recently commented on politics on their blogs so I guess I can too.
I think it is hilarious that the Chairman of the House Ways and Means committee (yeah the one in charge of writing the tax code) was cheating on his taxes. I think it's even more funny that despite the fact that he has been on the committee since 1975, his excuse was "I didn't know I was supposed to report that..."
If a man who has spent the last 33 years writing the tax code can't figure it out...
I think it is hilarious that the Chairman of the House Ways and Means committee (yeah the one in charge of writing the tax code) was cheating on his taxes. I think it's even more funny that despite the fact that he has been on the committee since 1975, his excuse was "I didn't know I was supposed to report that..."
If a man who has spent the last 33 years writing the tax code can't figure it out...
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
another picture
I recognize that I haven't been posting all that much...tough. I have school and a baby to attend to.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Home
Finally
I know it was only four days...it seemed an eternity.
Happiness
Sunlight in his eyes. Fitting him in the carseat. Crossing the threshold with my son.
Here we are.
Mom's sleeping. Ben's on my lap. One hand typing.
Nothing has changed.
They redid the echo...wait and see again, trips to the cardiologist in my future. Nobody really knows what's going to happen with his heart. It could heal itself and only need occasional monitering. It could lnd him back in the hospital. We continue to trust God to do his will.
Everthing has changed.
Life will never be the same...home from the hospital. The place we have prepared for him is finally in use. I put him in the crib I made. He's so small. An actual living thing sleeping in my arms...right now. We continue to thank God for the wonderful gifts he has given, the provision he has made for us.
I know it was only four days...it seemed an eternity.
Happiness
Sunlight in his eyes. Fitting him in the carseat. Crossing the threshold with my son.
Here we are.
Mom's sleeping. Ben's on my lap. One hand typing.
Nothing has changed.
They redid the echo...wait and see again, trips to the cardiologist in my future. Nobody really knows what's going to happen with his heart. It could heal itself and only need occasional monitering. It could lnd him back in the hospital. We continue to trust God to do his will.
Everthing has changed.
Life will never be the same...home from the hospital. The place we have prepared for him is finally in use. I put him in the crib I made. He's so small. An actual living thing sleeping in my arms...right now. We continue to thank God for the wonderful gifts he has given, the provision he has made for us.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
On hospitals and discontent
We're still at the hospital...day four. Tomorrow Ben will have an echocardiogram to look again at the abnormalities they saw on Friday. I'm not sure what to expect. He seems to be healthy, progressing normally. But I can't see his heart. It is trying to have to wait and see...to not know...to not have any power...to not be able to fix him...to not even know if he still has a problem.
It's a little draining being at the hospital. It is grating to see Bentley constantly attatched to the machines...heart rate...respiratory rate...O2 Sat...Blood Pressure...Temperature. Nurses looking over my shoulder...How much has he eaten...has he pooped yet...was his diaper wet...feeling inadequate. If he doesn't poop, what can I do...how many excuses can I make...
It's also hard to face so much uncertainty. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. I hope and pray that we will be able to take him home tomorrow. Maybe we'll stay...maybe we'll go...maybe he'll have to go to the ICU. And I can't do anything about it.
And so we trust God...to keep our son safe...to give us peace...to guide us into his will...to take us away from this place when the time is right.
It's a little draining being at the hospital. It is grating to see Bentley constantly attatched to the machines...heart rate...respiratory rate...O2 Sat...Blood Pressure...Temperature. Nurses looking over my shoulder...How much has he eaten...has he pooped yet...was his diaper wet...feeling inadequate. If he doesn't poop, what can I do...how many excuses can I make...
It's also hard to face so much uncertainty. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. I hope and pray that we will be able to take him home tomorrow. Maybe we'll stay...maybe we'll go...maybe he'll have to go to the ICU. And I can't do anything about it.
And so we trust God...to keep our son safe...to give us peace...to guide us into his will...to take us away from this place when the time is right.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
The Elephant in the Room
I feel, perhaps, that I should communicate my feelings over the last forty-eight hours with the community of people that surround and love us. Because, after all, life is not what we plan, and sometimes God prepares a way for us, that we cannot predict.
My son (I know I'm still getting used to the idea too...it's kind of scary), has Down Syndrome. At least I believe he does. The blood test won't be back until early next week. But the doctors are fairly confident, and so, for that matter, am I (though admittedly my experience is limited.
It has been an interesting experience, communicating this fact to the people I love. Because no one knows how to react. A few people say, "I'm so sorry..." To which I respond "I'm not." Some just say "ok", some "that must be a shock," but the most common reaction is simply silence....or "really???" One friend couldn't figure out if I was joking or not. (I wasn't). Really, I don't know what reaction I expect...I wouldn't know which one to give.
So let me tell our story. Adrienne got pregnant 9 months ago (a predictable number I know). About six months ago she had an ultra sound...everything was normal, then two days later her doctor called. There was a barely perceptible fuzzy spot on the tape. Something that probably was nothing, and something that if it was something, still probably meant nothing. But, if it was there, and it meant something, then in less than two percent of cases it could indicate Down Syndrome. She offered furthur testing, but we really didn't care...it wouldn't have changed how we proceeded. Adrienne and I talked at length about it. Down Syndrome was something we had never imagined for our children. We feel called to reach out together to at risk, and special needs children...but our own offspring. It hadn't occured to us. But we prayed about it together.
Two days later, at school we had a panel of families with children with Down Syndrome. And it was incredible. The kids that came were some of the cutest, friendliest, happiest kids I had ever encountered. And I learned there to see children with Down Syndrome as children...who just needed a little extra care. On my way home that day, I prayed for our child (I didn't know it was a he yet) and I prayed that God would open my heart to whatever he had in store for us. And I prayed that if our child did have Down Syndrome, that I would rejoice in thanksgiving. That evening, Adrienne and I prayed together again, that we would accept whatever he had in store for us with joy.
I continued, throughout Adrienne's pregnancy, to experience God's work preparing my heart to accept his will. As I prayed for our child I knew the bond was forming between us, despite our physical separation.
So, when he was taken to the NICU, I went with him, to watch him begin to breath. When the pediatrician called in the neonatologist, I knew. When she said the words, my heart leapt for joy. God has blessed us with a child who will bring light and joy into our house. It is right, It is good. It is not a difficult thing to accept, or something to get used to. God has already done that work in our hearts. My son has Down Syndrome, and I am glad.
I know it will be difficult. I know that there will be trouble. I know that my life will never be the same. I also know that all of those things would be true if he didn't have Down Syndrome.
My son (I know I'm still getting used to the idea too...it's kind of scary), has Down Syndrome. At least I believe he does. The blood test won't be back until early next week. But the doctors are fairly confident, and so, for that matter, am I (though admittedly my experience is limited.
It has been an interesting experience, communicating this fact to the people I love. Because no one knows how to react. A few people say, "I'm so sorry..." To which I respond "I'm not." Some just say "ok", some "that must be a shock," but the most common reaction is simply silence....or "really???" One friend couldn't figure out if I was joking or not. (I wasn't). Really, I don't know what reaction I expect...I wouldn't know which one to give.
So let me tell our story. Adrienne got pregnant 9 months ago (a predictable number I know). About six months ago she had an ultra sound...everything was normal, then two days later her doctor called. There was a barely perceptible fuzzy spot on the tape. Something that probably was nothing, and something that if it was something, still probably meant nothing. But, if it was there, and it meant something, then in less than two percent of cases it could indicate Down Syndrome. She offered furthur testing, but we really didn't care...it wouldn't have changed how we proceeded. Adrienne and I talked at length about it. Down Syndrome was something we had never imagined for our children. We feel called to reach out together to at risk, and special needs children...but our own offspring. It hadn't occured to us. But we prayed about it together.
Two days later, at school we had a panel of families with children with Down Syndrome. And it was incredible. The kids that came were some of the cutest, friendliest, happiest kids I had ever encountered. And I learned there to see children with Down Syndrome as children...who just needed a little extra care. On my way home that day, I prayed for our child (I didn't know it was a he yet) and I prayed that God would open my heart to whatever he had in store for us. And I prayed that if our child did have Down Syndrome, that I would rejoice in thanksgiving. That evening, Adrienne and I prayed together again, that we would accept whatever he had in store for us with joy.
I continued, throughout Adrienne's pregnancy, to experience God's work preparing my heart to accept his will. As I prayed for our child I knew the bond was forming between us, despite our physical separation.
So, when he was taken to the NICU, I went with him, to watch him begin to breath. When the pediatrician called in the neonatologist, I knew. When she said the words, my heart leapt for joy. God has blessed us with a child who will bring light and joy into our house. It is right, It is good. It is not a difficult thing to accept, or something to get used to. God has already done that work in our hearts. My son has Down Syndrome, and I am glad.
I know it will be difficult. I know that there will be trouble. I know that my life will never be the same. I also know that all of those things would be true if he didn't have Down Syndrome.
Monday, August 11, 2008
On Disparities and Health
We had a lecture today from one Dr. Flack, a very interesting man whose lectures I always enjoy. The topic was health disparities, specifically disputing a number of common assumptions.
1. For example "There are health disparities between races." In reality the genetic differences between races are minor. The reason African Americans and Hispanics appear to be disadvantaged is that they are disproportionately poor. Now that in and of itself is a result of disparities in economic opportunity...but African Americans are not inherently unhealthier than other groups.
2. "The United States spends the most on Health Care but still lags most other developed countries in Health Status." There is a false assumption here: the medical establishment can create good health in a population. The truth is, most diseases of high prevalence in the developed world are dependent on choices made by individuals years before the disease presents itself. The fact that Americans choose to live unhealthy lifestyles leads to the poor results on international surveys. Spending more money won't fix that.
As Americans we have gotten used to the idea that you can buy your way into anything. But in medicine there is a limit. The only way to improve health generally is to convince people to live healthier lifestyles.
There is one group of people, however who are consistently disadvantaged when it comes to medical care...the poor. They live disproportionately in cites, where access to fresh fruits and vegetables is limited, and fast food abounds. Where it isn't safe to be outside at night, the only time many people could exercise. They have less access to education, they drop out more (educational attainment is the single biggest determinant of health status) And there are fewer medical clinics and hospitals to serve the populations of urban poor. Consistently underserved.
1. For example "There are health disparities between races." In reality the genetic differences between races are minor. The reason African Americans and Hispanics appear to be disadvantaged is that they are disproportionately poor. Now that in and of itself is a result of disparities in economic opportunity...but African Americans are not inherently unhealthier than other groups.
2. "The United States spends the most on Health Care but still lags most other developed countries in Health Status." There is a false assumption here: the medical establishment can create good health in a population. The truth is, most diseases of high prevalence in the developed world are dependent on choices made by individuals years before the disease presents itself. The fact that Americans choose to live unhealthy lifestyles leads to the poor results on international surveys. Spending more money won't fix that.
As Americans we have gotten used to the idea that you can buy your way into anything. But in medicine there is a limit. The only way to improve health generally is to convince people to live healthier lifestyles.
There is one group of people, however who are consistently disadvantaged when it comes to medical care...the poor. They live disproportionately in cites, where access to fresh fruits and vegetables is limited, and fast food abounds. Where it isn't safe to be outside at night, the only time many people could exercise. They have less access to education, they drop out more (educational attainment is the single biggest determinant of health status) And there are fewer medical clinics and hospitals to serve the populations of urban poor. Consistently underserved.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
back in the game
As anyone who has checked this blog in the last month will recognize, there is a post dated July fourth that was never there. This is one big reason I haven't posted in so long. I wasn't sure if I should post this and it kind of got stuck in the pipeline blocking up my flow of ideas. But I guess I should put it out there. At first I thought it might offend people. And it might. Then I thought, well it's been a while...and so it has. Then I thought, I'll think of something else, but nothing came. So today I edited it for readability...which doesn't mean it's readable. but there you have it.
I've also added a small post to go along with the other
I've also added a small post to go along with the other
On nationality
So Steven wrote some time ago about the experience of being an American in Russia (which would probably be a bit more tense now than it was just a few months ago).
He wrote "So then, I told her, what separates us? Legal fictions, Bokononian categories that hinder intimacy. We have said, and shall always say, that we who know Jesus have more in common with an Iraqi Christian than with an American non-Christian. We must come at others with these two categories in mind only, no supremacy, no victory. Just those IN CHRIST who will fellowship on that level."
I think Steven, that you are correct. When I first began to travel, I found myself often trying to defend the actions of the United States. Now that I understand that I have more incommon with a Christian from any country than an American who isn't a Christian, I can say..."I don't agree with that." And I can claim my citizenship in the kingdom of heaven to say, "the false reality you call 'the United States' does not define what I think or do and is not a real pert of my identity in Christ."
Anyway...I've said enough
He wrote "So then, I told her, what separates us? Legal fictions, Bokononian categories that hinder intimacy. We have said, and shall always say, that we who know Jesus have more in common with an Iraqi Christian than with an American non-Christian. We must come at others with these two categories in mind only, no supremacy, no victory. Just those IN CHRIST who will fellowship on that level."
I think Steven, that you are correct. When I first began to travel, I found myself often trying to defend the actions of the United States. Now that I understand that I have more incommon with a Christian from any country than an American who isn't a Christian, I can say..."I don't agree with that." And I can claim my citizenship in the kingdom of heaven to say, "the false reality you call 'the United States' does not define what I think or do and is not a real pert of my identity in Christ."
Anyway...I've said enough
Friday, July 04, 2008
Independance Day
A couple years ago, the fourth of July fell close to a Sunday. Adrienne and I went to a church in Tucson we had been told was deficient in preaching and music, but had great fellowship (we went four times and no one even acknowledged our existence). The whole service was geared towards the celebration of the fourth of July. We sang God Bless America, and America the Beautiful...the sermon was about how God has blessed this great country...
At Willow Creek there is an American flag displayed outside the sanctuary. Willow Creek is notorious for, among other things, not allowing any crosses to be put up in the church for fear they might offend new visitors.
Over the last 30 years, the church in the United States has become identified with one particular political party, and has become increasingly vocal in its acts of patriotism. Many church leaders have even been known to advocate war to defend and advance the causes of this particular nation.
If you don't believe me, check this out www.bushfish.org (I don't know how to turn this into a link or I would.) (Also if you have a weak stomach don't go to the site)
In Rome, the state was held together, in part by the cult of the emperor and by faith in and loyalty to the state apparatus. When the new Christian faith began to spread its members were denounced as atheists, as disloyal, as unpatriotic. And they responded by saying, "We have a new emperor now, who demands our allegiance, and we are faithful to him." Paul said to the new believers "Our struggle is against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world," as well as "the spiritual forces for evil." John, exiled for his lack of faith in Domatian, wrote of Rome as the whore, Babylon, and called the church to be faithful unto death, to Christ.
Rome brought peace and prosperity to the lands it conquered (as well as, at least initially a lot of death and despair). It spread the rule of law across a wide swath of territory. Rome defended itself with its powerful army, and it fought preemptive wars to head off potential threats on the fringes of its empire. Rome was a place of great technological advance and innovation, of great buildings, and large cities. Rome was a place the gods had blessed...until it fell collapsed upon itself, crushed by its own weight, its carcass picked clean by barbarian invaders.
If you replaced "Rome" with "United States" in that paragraph it would still be true...well the last bit is still ahead of us. And I think that everything that the New Testament says about Rome is true of the United States. We are not called to be loyal to the government. We are not called to be loyal to a nation.
Don't get me wrong...I'm happy to live in the United States...most of the time. In a lot of ways it is a better place to live than, say, Haiti. In fact very few people would choose Haiti over the United States.
But I think that a lot of the time the church in the United States forgets that even if you live in the best, most comfortable Babylon on Earth...She's still a whoring seductress that we are called to struggle against, to stand up to, to not pledge our allegiance to.
My loyalty is to Christ and to the church. My hope and my faith are found in the redemptive power of the cross. Not the power of the US military. So when the United States decides to go to war, I don't have any responsibility to support that...on the contrary, I have a duty to stand with Christians in Iraq (or anywhere else our government sees fit to attack) and say stop.
When I was younger than I am now, I accepted the idea that war could accomplish good. I accepted the idea that I should be loyal to my country. That supporting one country over another was permissible. I gloried in the history of the United States military. I devoured the history books, watching for examples of American valor and heroism. I looked up and saw a government to be proud of. Now I see a tale of death and destruction. I see a government to be ignored and when necessary resisted. What happened?
So fireworks are fun. So are barbecues. I think I'll try to have both.
At Willow Creek there is an American flag displayed outside the sanctuary. Willow Creek is notorious for, among other things, not allowing any crosses to be put up in the church for fear they might offend new visitors.
Over the last 30 years, the church in the United States has become identified with one particular political party, and has become increasingly vocal in its acts of patriotism. Many church leaders have even been known to advocate war to defend and advance the causes of this particular nation.
If you don't believe me, check this out www.bushfish.org (I don't know how to turn this into a link or I would.) (Also if you have a weak stomach don't go to the site)
In Rome, the state was held together, in part by the cult of the emperor and by faith in and loyalty to the state apparatus. When the new Christian faith began to spread its members were denounced as atheists, as disloyal, as unpatriotic. And they responded by saying, "We have a new emperor now, who demands our allegiance, and we are faithful to him." Paul said to the new believers "Our struggle is against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world," as well as "the spiritual forces for evil." John, exiled for his lack of faith in Domatian, wrote of Rome as the whore, Babylon, and called the church to be faithful unto death, to Christ.
Rome brought peace and prosperity to the lands it conquered (as well as, at least initially a lot of death and despair). It spread the rule of law across a wide swath of territory. Rome defended itself with its powerful army, and it fought preemptive wars to head off potential threats on the fringes of its empire. Rome was a place of great technological advance and innovation, of great buildings, and large cities. Rome was a place the gods had blessed...until it fell collapsed upon itself, crushed by its own weight, its carcass picked clean by barbarian invaders.
If you replaced "Rome" with "United States" in that paragraph it would still be true...well the last bit is still ahead of us. And I think that everything that the New Testament says about Rome is true of the United States. We are not called to be loyal to the government. We are not called to be loyal to a nation.
Don't get me wrong...I'm happy to live in the United States...most of the time. In a lot of ways it is a better place to live than, say, Haiti. In fact very few people would choose Haiti over the United States.
But I think that a lot of the time the church in the United States forgets that even if you live in the best, most comfortable Babylon on Earth...She's still a whoring seductress that we are called to struggle against, to stand up to, to not pledge our allegiance to.
My loyalty is to Christ and to the church. My hope and my faith are found in the redemptive power of the cross. Not the power of the US military. So when the United States decides to go to war, I don't have any responsibility to support that...on the contrary, I have a duty to stand with Christians in Iraq (or anywhere else our government sees fit to attack) and say stop.
When I was younger than I am now, I accepted the idea that war could accomplish good. I accepted the idea that I should be loyal to my country. That supporting one country over another was permissible. I gloried in the history of the United States military. I devoured the history books, watching for examples of American valor and heroism. I looked up and saw a government to be proud of. Now I see a tale of death and destruction. I see a government to be ignored and when necessary resisted. What happened?
So fireworks are fun. So are barbecues. I think I'll try to have both.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
A zoom with a view--pictures from the road
Here is a typical small settlement in the biggest arable region in Haiti--the valley that contains Dessallines. The view from the road is dotted with these little mini settlements where people who grow rice on state-owned land live. The houses are made of mud held together with the occasional rock, and sticks, and generally a metal roof. A few of the houses are made out of cement blocks(for obvious reasons, this is considered an upgrade).
Farming is a relatively simple (though incredibly arduous) affair. Hand tools are the rule, though emaciated livestock do lend a hand. (I love it when I can start and end a sentence on the same word). I did see a few rusty tractors stuck in the mud. The farmers here don't have the means to purchase farming equipment (in fact a lot of their hand tools are hand tooled). But even if they did, they're not farming their own land so there's little incentive, and even if they had the means and the incentive, most of them have no education (by "no education" I don't mean they dropped out of high school--I mean it literally), the only thing they know about farming is what they are doing.
This lady is protesting. The road was blocked by people walking in the road waving branches (or leaves, the branches cooked last night's non-supper). Protests are becoming more common in Haiti (well there's kind of an ebb and flow to the cycle of protests--over the last six months the pendulum has been swinging up). About a month before I went all of the windows up and down Delmar--one of the main roads in Port au Prince--were broken by protesters upset by the price of food.
This woman and those with her were upset about the price of fertilizer. A year ago a bag cost $200 Haitian, Now it costs 600. The land these farmers farm is state owned--they get paid a set amount of money for the rice they grow. this is how the government can make money selling rice even when the price of raw materials goes up--they pass the cost onto the farmers.
The government sells the rice on the global market because it can make more money...then cheaper rice (less filling is the description I got) is imported and taxed so it costs the average Haitian more than they got paid for the better rice they grew in their own fields (or state owned fields).
Just for comparisons sake
This is a house up on the mountain overlooking Port au Prince--where the upper class lives. Lifestyles of the rich and famous. ok, probably not famous.
Ok, maybe that's a little shocking, you might ask--how could they live like that, while those in the valley suffer?
But think about this--the difference between the poor and the rich is even greater in the US. The poor here just aren't as shocking--maybe we're just used to them.
Shoot--why criticize the rich--here's where I live. How can I possibly talk about poverty?
I know that I've said a lot of things on this blog about poverty and how hard people in Haiti have it...to tell you the truth, more often than not I feel like a failure, a hypocrite, and snakeoil salesman. I want you to be moved by the pictures, by my words...but I sit here, typing on a computer in a climate controlled room, stuff, stuff, stuff...all around, invading my life, suffocating me, killing possibility...
"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God"
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
PS
I am back and healthy and Adrienne and I are heading out for a little retreat. 17 days is a long time to be apart.
Back in a few
Back in a few
Forget John Owen
Rich Mullins once said at a Wheaton College Chapel service
"You guys are all into that born again thing, which is great. We do need to be born again, since Jesus said that to a guy named Nicodemus. But if you tell me I have to be born again to enter the kingdom of God, I can tell you that you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that to one guy too...
...But I guess that's why God invented highlighters, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest."
"You guys are all into that born again thing, which is great. We do need to be born again, since Jesus said that to a guy named Nicodemus. But if you tell me I have to be born again to enter the kingdom of God, I can tell you that you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that to one guy too...
...But I guess that's why God invented highlighters, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest."
Friday, June 13, 2008
dead babies and other assorted travesties
Today a woman came into the hospital. She was in severe pain, but noone is really sure what the cause is.
The hospital here is very effective at treating common ailments, and at doing realatively simple procedures. But, for anything less common, it is very difficult. There are a lot of reasons for that, which I hope to discuss later...
So there's not a lot that can be done for the woman. She can go to Port au Prince, where they might be able to figure it out...except she probably can't go to Port au Prince because that costs money...which she doesn't have. Either she'll get better or she won't.
It gets even more complicated though...she recently had a baby. During her pregnancy she had eclampsia, and she ended up having a C-section. The baby got sick and died twelve days ago. Infant mortality (every type of mortality...and morbidity for that matter) is high here. Malaria is deadly...90 percent of its victims are under five. Diahrrea is deadly (unless you rehydrate with electrolyte solution--which costs all of 10 cents a day or so for a child). Malnutrition is deadly...walking in the street is deadly...machetes are lethal...In short, the deck is stacked against children. We forget this, because we have put up walls around our children.
And a furthur complication...she doesn't know the baby is dead yet. Her family hasn't told her...they told her they sent the baby to a hospital in Port au Prince. This too is apparently not all that uncommon. They can't figure out how to tell her...and how exactly do you tell a woman that her child is dead?
The hospital here is very effective at treating common ailments, and at doing realatively simple procedures. But, for anything less common, it is very difficult. There are a lot of reasons for that, which I hope to discuss later...
So there's not a lot that can be done for the woman. She can go to Port au Prince, where they might be able to figure it out...except she probably can't go to Port au Prince because that costs money...which she doesn't have. Either she'll get better or she won't.
It gets even more complicated though...she recently had a baby. During her pregnancy she had eclampsia, and she ended up having a C-section. The baby got sick and died twelve days ago. Infant mortality (every type of mortality...and morbidity for that matter) is high here. Malaria is deadly...90 percent of its victims are under five. Diahrrea is deadly (unless you rehydrate with electrolyte solution--which costs all of 10 cents a day or so for a child). Malnutrition is deadly...walking in the street is deadly...machetes are lethal...In short, the deck is stacked against children. We forget this, because we have put up walls around our children.
And a furthur complication...she doesn't know the baby is dead yet. Her family hasn't told her...they told her they sent the baby to a hospital in Port au Prince. This too is apparently not all that uncommon. They can't figure out how to tell her...and how exactly do you tell a woman that her child is dead?
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Hip Hip Hoorah
ADRIENNE
I just want to say "I love you"
Happy Anniversary
Three years and counting
EVERYONE ELSE
sorry for the mush
but it's my blog
and I can say whatever I want.
I just want to say "I love you"
Happy Anniversary
Three years and counting
EVERYONE ELSE
sorry for the mush
but it's my blog
and I can say whatever I want.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Don't read this post
SERIOUSLY
IF YOU GET NIGHTMARES IT'S NOT MY FAULT
Yesterday a girl came into the hospital with her father. She had recently given birth. She presented with sever burns on the inside of her legs up to her buttocks. The wounds were infected.
One of the folk medicine beliefs here is that after giving birth a woman has to be cleansed. The method for this is to sit over a pot of boiling water and let the vapors purify you. So an older woman in this girls family made her do this. They held her over the fire...she must have been screaming and squirming...there's no way she could have just sat there. They held her there until her skin burned off. Then to bandage the wound they mixed ashes with water to make a paste and spread it on.
She didn't give birth in the hospital because they live a long ways away and couldn't afford it. Finally her father brought her in. Turns out her baby wa sick too. It wasn't getting adequate nourishment because her body was under such stress.
I WARNED YOU
IF YOU GET NIGHTMARES IT'S NOT MY FAULT
Yesterday a girl came into the hospital with her father. She had recently given birth. She presented with sever burns on the inside of her legs up to her buttocks. The wounds were infected.
One of the folk medicine beliefs here is that after giving birth a woman has to be cleansed. The method for this is to sit over a pot of boiling water and let the vapors purify you. So an older woman in this girls family made her do this. They held her over the fire...she must have been screaming and squirming...there's no way she could have just sat there. They held her there until her skin burned off. Then to bandage the wound they mixed ashes with water to make a paste and spread it on.
She didn't give birth in the hospital because they live a long ways away and couldn't afford it. Finally her father brought her in. Turns out her baby wa sick too. It wasn't getting adequate nourishment because her body was under such stress.
I WARNED YOU
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Some things to think about
The standard measurement of rice in the market is a small can that holds about two cups. It currently sells for 6 Haitian dollars or slightly less than what more than half of Haitians live on...one US dollar. According to the bag that rice comes in in the US that's eight servings and 1020 calories. No vitamins. (except the ones in rice) a small amount of protein.
So if you made an average amount of money and spent all of it on rice you would still be undernourished and malnourished and you couldn't support your children or wife.
That's why everywhere you go are small gardens. I climbed up to the forts with the medical director of the hospital today. It took about three hours to get up there. We left at five. On our way back down we came a different way through a valley (ok not a valley...cleft in the mountain) that gets enough rain and has enough soil to support (or at least tolerate) crops. We were still a couple hours walking from town when the gardens began. People farming small plots with corn, or beans, lower down there were a few banana trees. In some places mango trees(mango trees would be a good investment...except that they all ripen at the same time so everybody's out selling rotting mangos on the streets together).
Cooking rice without gas, electricity or wood is difficult....so you have to buy charcoal...or go cut your own wood...except there isn't any wood. The only place where we saw any wood was up at the very top of the mountain...and even there the trees were stumps with twigs growing out of them. Every branch that could be cut with a machete had been cut. And there was a guy up there with his machete, cutting away at the twigs that had grown up since the last time he was there.
So you've got rice...and wood to cook it...toasted rice, yum. Or you can go get water. So you take a five gallon bucket, or whatever container you have and walk to the spring. You pump your water and walk back. If there isn't any rain you're going to have to carry that five gallon bucket full straight up the mountain to water your little patch of ground. There were people doing this. (and when I say straight up I mean it...when all of your time is spent trying to survive you don't have time for switchbacks)
If you're still reading...which I recognize most of you aren't....think about this.
The price of food in Haiti has gone up, just like it has in he US. But unlike the US where food costs consume around 9 percent of our budget, in Haiti food takes up almost the whole budget. So what do you get rid of to pay for food, when food was all you were buying in the first place.
Schools run by churches used to feed children hot meals five days a week. Now most are down to two days a week...a few still do three days. Except the meal is smaller than it used to be, no meat, no vegetables...rice and beans. (and not very many beans)
So if you made an average amount of money and spent all of it on rice you would still be undernourished and malnourished and you couldn't support your children or wife.
That's why everywhere you go are small gardens. I climbed up to the forts with the medical director of the hospital today. It took about three hours to get up there. We left at five. On our way back down we came a different way through a valley (ok not a valley...cleft in the mountain) that gets enough rain and has enough soil to support (or at least tolerate) crops. We were still a couple hours walking from town when the gardens began. People farming small plots with corn, or beans, lower down there were a few banana trees. In some places mango trees(mango trees would be a good investment...except that they all ripen at the same time so everybody's out selling rotting mangos on the streets together).
Cooking rice without gas, electricity or wood is difficult....so you have to buy charcoal...or go cut your own wood...except there isn't any wood. The only place where we saw any wood was up at the very top of the mountain...and even there the trees were stumps with twigs growing out of them. Every branch that could be cut with a machete had been cut. And there was a guy up there with his machete, cutting away at the twigs that had grown up since the last time he was there.
So you've got rice...and wood to cook it...toasted rice, yum. Or you can go get water. So you take a five gallon bucket, or whatever container you have and walk to the spring. You pump your water and walk back. If there isn't any rain you're going to have to carry that five gallon bucket full straight up the mountain to water your little patch of ground. There were people doing this. (and when I say straight up I mean it...when all of your time is spent trying to survive you don't have time for switchbacks)
If you're still reading...which I recognize most of you aren't....think about this.
The price of food in Haiti has gone up, just like it has in he US. But unlike the US where food costs consume around 9 percent of our budget, in Haiti food takes up almost the whole budget. So what do you get rid of to pay for food, when food was all you were buying in the first place.
Schools run by churches used to feed children hot meals five days a week. Now most are down to two days a week...a few still do three days. Except the meal is smaller than it used to be, no meat, no vegetables...rice and beans. (and not very many beans)
Thursday, June 05, 2008
bugs and bugs
So last night I was sitting up reading a little. My light was on...I looked up and there were 40+ species of insect in bed with me...literally, I counted as well as I could. They ranged from a couple inches to barely visible. And I have screens on all my windows. Imagine life without screens.
Today was really my first full day at the hospital...I knew that there are a lot of diseases in Haiti that really don't exist anymore in other places. I just didn't realize how prevelant they are. I only saw around ten patients and I saw two cases of malaria, one of typhoid, one of TB, and another of scabies. One of the malaria cases was a 14 month old little girl. She ended up staying in the hospital.
Today was really my first full day at the hospital...I knew that there are a lot of diseases in Haiti that really don't exist anymore in other places. I just didn't realize how prevelant they are. I only saw around ten patients and I saw two cases of malaria, one of typhoid, one of TB, and another of scabies. One of the malaria cases was a 14 month old little girl. She ended up staying in the hospital.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
hospital time
Today was a slow day at the hospital apparently. Could have fooled me...can't wait to see it on a busy day.
I was able to communicate with a number of the doctors. Apparently under Aristide the goverment started handing out scholarships to study medicine in Cuba....which is good since Cuba trains pretty good doctors. So a few of the doctors at the hospital speak Spanish well. so I talked in Spanish more than English and Creole combined today.
the biggest business at the hospital is the maternity ward. Haiti has a high birth rate and a high infant mortality rate. Because of the lack of prenatal care eclampsia (that's what preelcampsia becomes if left untreated--pretty rare in the US) is a major problem. The have a whole room of beds devoted to it.
Judging how busy the hospital is difficult because every admited patient brings at least one guest to take care of them, prepare their food etc. This keeps prices down, but increases crowdedness.
peace
I was able to communicate with a number of the doctors. Apparently under Aristide the goverment started handing out scholarships to study medicine in Cuba....which is good since Cuba trains pretty good doctors. So a few of the doctors at the hospital speak Spanish well. so I talked in Spanish more than English and Creole combined today.
the biggest business at the hospital is the maternity ward. Haiti has a high birth rate and a high infant mortality rate. Because of the lack of prenatal care eclampsia (that's what preelcampsia becomes if left untreated--pretty rare in the US) is a major problem. The have a whole room of beds devoted to it.
Judging how busy the hospital is difficult because every admited patient brings at least one guest to take care of them, prepare their food etc. This keeps prices down, but increases crowdedness.
peace
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
National Highway 1
Today we drove to Desallines--the first capital of Haiti. On the mountain that stretches above it there is a series of five forts built to watch for the return of Napoleans troops.
Most of our journey was along National Highway 1 which connects the two biggest cities--Port au Prince and Cape Hatien. It's about one and a half lanes, with no markings, and often no road. Four-wheel drive is a virtual neccessity to navigate certain stretches. Potholes that could swallow your car abound. Piles of garbage line the road outside cities. One famous thing about Haiti is its lack of trees. This country has attained the unique distinction of 98 percent deforestation. And there's not much hope for reforestation. Charcoal is the main fuel for most people--gas is prohibitively expensive to the 65-70 percent of Hatians who live on less than one dollar a day. Of course lots of other things are prohibitively expensive...meat...shelter not made out of dried mud...medicine...etc (it's a long list)
Two stories.
We stopped to talk to the gentlemen who work at a sawmill along the road...They had a huge log (maybe 8' long, 18" in diameter) up on some tall (7-8') homemade sawhorses. One guy was standing on the log, the other guy underneath and they were cutting the log into 8-10 boards with a two person saw. Push Pull, Push Pull. They said it took them about half a day to do each log.
We also stopped to talk to a woman who works in the construction business. Rocks, sticks and mud are the main materials for house construction. Cement blocks for the wealthy. Her job was to break up big rocks into little rocks of varying sizes to use un mud walls or cement mixing for roads. Essentially her job was to make gravel out of boulders....her tool? a hammer. All day, sitting on a pile of rocks banging at them with a hammer.
Most of our journey was along National Highway 1 which connects the two biggest cities--Port au Prince and Cape Hatien. It's about one and a half lanes, with no markings, and often no road. Four-wheel drive is a virtual neccessity to navigate certain stretches. Potholes that could swallow your car abound. Piles of garbage line the road outside cities. One famous thing about Haiti is its lack of trees. This country has attained the unique distinction of 98 percent deforestation. And there's not much hope for reforestation. Charcoal is the main fuel for most people--gas is prohibitively expensive to the 65-70 percent of Hatians who live on less than one dollar a day. Of course lots of other things are prohibitively expensive...meat...shelter not made out of dried mud...medicine...etc (it's a long list)
Two stories.
We stopped to talk to the gentlemen who work at a sawmill along the road...They had a huge log (maybe 8' long, 18" in diameter) up on some tall (7-8') homemade sawhorses. One guy was standing on the log, the other guy underneath and they were cutting the log into 8-10 boards with a two person saw. Push Pull, Push Pull. They said it took them about half a day to do each log.
We also stopped to talk to a woman who works in the construction business. Rocks, sticks and mud are the main materials for house construction. Cement blocks for the wealthy. Her job was to break up big rocks into little rocks of varying sizes to use un mud walls or cement mixing for roads. Essentially her job was to make gravel out of boulders....her tool? a hammer. All day, sitting on a pile of rocks banging at them with a hammer.
Monday, June 02, 2008
haiti
I know it's been a while
I've been busy.
Actually, I don't know why I haven't posted.
I'm in Haiti now. Port au Prince to be exact. I flew in last night. The flight was uneventful
What an interesting place. Colorful, alive. Loud, vibrant. Hot, but not that hot, just unairconditioned
as in most places I've been, the rich live above everyone else, literally. The higher you go in the hills, the nicer it gets.
Everything is made out of concrete. Wood gets termites too easily.
goats, cows, chickens, and corn (like the plants, not just for sale) are common in the city streets.
When I flew in the customs officials had run out of the green forms for entry'exit visas, without which you can't enter the country. The only person who had any was this one lady, behind a counter, upon whom descended the mob as soon as we entered the terminal. She had a small stack...not nearly enough for everyone who needed one. She insisted on filling the forms out for everyone...except occasionally someone would yell at her loud enough or say the magic words to convince her to give them one. she ran out...then opened her drawer and pulled out a slightly larger pile...repeat process. the crush of people threatening to crush the counter. after thirty minutes her second pile was gone, only 20 or so remained. She calmly, without any apparent awareness of her own ridiculousity, walked over to a cupboard, and pulled out a stack of several hundred forms and passed them out to all who remained.
I've been busy.
Actually, I don't know why I haven't posted.
I'm in Haiti now. Port au Prince to be exact. I flew in last night. The flight was uneventful
What an interesting place. Colorful, alive. Loud, vibrant. Hot, but not that hot, just unairconditioned
as in most places I've been, the rich live above everyone else, literally. The higher you go in the hills, the nicer it gets.
Everything is made out of concrete. Wood gets termites too easily.
goats, cows, chickens, and corn (like the plants, not just for sale) are common in the city streets.
When I flew in the customs officials had run out of the green forms for entry'exit visas, without which you can't enter the country. The only person who had any was this one lady, behind a counter, upon whom descended the mob as soon as we entered the terminal. She had a small stack...not nearly enough for everyone who needed one. She insisted on filling the forms out for everyone...except occasionally someone would yell at her loud enough or say the magic words to convince her to give them one. she ran out...then opened her drawer and pulled out a slightly larger pile...repeat process. the crush of people threatening to crush the counter. after thirty minutes her second pile was gone, only 20 or so remained. She calmly, without any apparent awareness of her own ridiculousity, walked over to a cupboard, and pulled out a stack of several hundred forms and passed them out to all who remained.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
On brains and sledgehammers
On Friday I took a test. It was in Neuro. I studied for it all week. I basically didn' do anything last week except study for this test. And it was a brutally hard test.
I woke up on Friday morning with a headache. I didn't sleep well the night before because I had a lot on my mind. So I woke up with a headache. Usually such headaches kind of go away as the day goes on. They kind of wear away. I get them all the time...probably because I don't sleep as much as I should. Clouds also seem to increase their intensity...but that's neither here nor there.
The point is, I started praying when I woke up that I wouldn't have a headache for the test and that I would still be able to do well. I kept it up all day...I can see why monks uses to flog themselves or put their thumbs in vice grips. Pain really tends to focus your mind on prayer.
But this stupid headache wouldn' go away...at least all the way. It diminished to the point where it was only a minor disturbance to my stream odf thought. My test was at one. So I took the test, and while I was taking it I was a little annoyed that I still had a headache. I thought, "So much for this prayer thing"
As I said it was a brutal test. They picked out the minutest details to test upon and wrote the questions to confuse and flummox even the most prepared of test-takers.
When I left the room, I felt like someone had hit me on the head with a sledgehammer as I walked through the door. I could barely walk. I still had to drive home. So there I was driving home with sunglasses on and my eyes half closed to keep out the light, with tears flowing down my face. Luckily there wasn't much traffic. And I was able to hold off the pain induced discharge of gastric contents until I got home. It was one of the worst headaches I've had in a long time.
So praise God for headaches
I woke up on Friday morning with a headache. I didn't sleep well the night before because I had a lot on my mind. So I woke up with a headache. Usually such headaches kind of go away as the day goes on. They kind of wear away. I get them all the time...probably because I don't sleep as much as I should. Clouds also seem to increase their intensity...but that's neither here nor there.
The point is, I started praying when I woke up that I wouldn't have a headache for the test and that I would still be able to do well. I kept it up all day...I can see why monks uses to flog themselves or put their thumbs in vice grips. Pain really tends to focus your mind on prayer.
But this stupid headache wouldn' go away...at least all the way. It diminished to the point where it was only a minor disturbance to my stream odf thought. My test was at one. So I took the test, and while I was taking it I was a little annoyed that I still had a headache. I thought, "So much for this prayer thing"
As I said it was a brutal test. They picked out the minutest details to test upon and wrote the questions to confuse and flummox even the most prepared of test-takers.
When I left the room, I felt like someone had hit me on the head with a sledgehammer as I walked through the door. I could barely walk. I still had to drive home. So there I was driving home with sunglasses on and my eyes half closed to keep out the light, with tears flowing down my face. Luckily there wasn't much traffic. And I was able to hold off the pain induced discharge of gastric contents until I got home. It was one of the worst headaches I've had in a long time.
So praise God for headaches
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
computer virus
This morning I was checking my email and a little window popped up that said "I want to talk to you."
I unplugged the computer in an effort to reestablish my dominance over all electronic life forms.
I don't ever want to talk to my computer.
I unplugged the computer in an effort to reestablish my dominance over all electronic life forms.
I don't ever want to talk to my computer.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
out of luck
Cell phones are a continual source of frustration to me. I always forget to plug mine in. I get frustrated when it runs out of batteries. I feel like, I already plugged it in once, why do I have to do it again. I get sick of the cyclical.
record setting
26 people at our house
it was a great time. We celebrated the end of winter two days after 4 inches fell. It was a beautiful, sunny day, perfect for a barbecue and despite the 40 degree weather, flip flops, shorts and hawaiian shirts were in abundance. A good time was had by all.
it was a great time. We celebrated the end of winter two days after 4 inches fell. It was a beautiful, sunny day, perfect for a barbecue and despite the 40 degree weather, flip flops, shorts and hawaiian shirts were in abundance. A good time was had by all.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I know I know, it's ironical
Technology frustrates me. I don't understand it....ok I guess that's technically untrue...I mean toilets and shovels are technology of a certain sort, and I understand them. I had this book when I was younger called The Way Things Work. It was a good book, I learned a lot from it...until my physics teacher stole it (literally) from me.
Anyway, it didn't really have much about computers in it. And the parts it did have didn't make a lot of sense to me. It seems like computers should make sense to me. I mean really all it is is a bunch of ones and zeros floating around in space.
Technology comes with great promise...it saves time, it helps you communicate, it makes life easier....more more more
Somebody once said there's a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon about everything. (at least I assume someone has said that...it seems like it might be true, and it would make you sound smart if you said it...maybe) There's one about this too...you should check it out.
Communication via cyberspace is a cheap substitute for the telephone, which is a cheap substitute for letter writing, which is a cheap substitute for carving inscriptions on clay tablets, which is a cheap substitute of whacking your neighbor on the head with a club and grunting with satisfaction.
As for timesaving, if you add in all the hours I've spent trying to get computers to work, waiting for them to restart, throwing them across the room in frustration, trying to put them together again, and pounding them with clubs while grunting with satisfaction...I haven't saved any time at all. In fact Bill Gates probably owes me several thousand hours of wasted time.
As for making life easier...when a computer can bring me breakfast in bed for a full year in a row without me even having to look at it, then and only then will I concede that point.
Anyway, it didn't really have much about computers in it. And the parts it did have didn't make a lot of sense to me. It seems like computers should make sense to me. I mean really all it is is a bunch of ones and zeros floating around in space.
Technology comes with great promise...it saves time, it helps you communicate, it makes life easier....more more more
Somebody once said there's a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon about everything. (at least I assume someone has said that...it seems like it might be true, and it would make you sound smart if you said it...maybe) There's one about this too...you should check it out.
Communication via cyberspace is a cheap substitute for the telephone, which is a cheap substitute for letter writing, which is a cheap substitute for carving inscriptions on clay tablets, which is a cheap substitute of whacking your neighbor on the head with a club and grunting with satisfaction.
As for timesaving, if you add in all the hours I've spent trying to get computers to work, waiting for them to restart, throwing them across the room in frustration, trying to put them together again, and pounding them with clubs while grunting with satisfaction...I haven't saved any time at all. In fact Bill Gates probably owes me several thousand hours of wasted time.
As for making life easier...when a computer can bring me breakfast in bed for a full year in a row without me even having to look at it, then and only then will I concede that point.
Monday, March 10, 2008
I was listening to the classical music station today on my way to school. and Huepongo came on.
That is one of my favorite songs of all time. And not just because It has a trombone solo I played once....ok that's part of it. But really It's a great song. Probably my favorite trombone solo I played.
Anyway...as I was going to say before my train of thought got derailed is...it's fun to sing along to songs on the radio
That is one of my favorite songs of all time. And not just because It has a trombone solo I played once....ok that's part of it. But really It's a great song. Probably my favorite trombone solo I played.
Anyway...as I was going to say before my train of thought got derailed is...it's fun to sing along to songs on the radio
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
I suppose I should qualify my statements. I like the church we attend, I love the people there, I have great respect for the pastoral team. I did not mean my comments as a condemnation. I just want to register the feeling I had. They probably didn't intend the purposes I ascribed to them.
But that said, the way it came across to someone who sees modern sound and video equipment as less than desirable, was as crassly materialistic.
But that said, the way it came across to someone who sees modern sound and video equipment as less than desirable, was as crassly materialistic.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Betrayed
Three or four weeks ago, the church we attend started a new series called Consumed. We were presented with a central question...what consumes you? Christ? Money? Something else?
The opening message centered on Galatians 5: Stand free and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery...do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, serve one another in love...the acts of the sinful nature are...the fruit of the spirit is...
For me the central question became how do you position yourself before God. How I position myself before God and other people communicates my feelings towards them. Everyone tries to present themselves in a certain way, both to other people and to God(even when we know we can't). And for very few (or none) of us is that image that we portray, the image that we see when we look in the mirror. All of this is, I think, usually unconscious. So it is good to reevaluate ourselves on a regular basis, in order to understand our relationship with God. Also it is healthy to try to realign our actions with our mental priorities.
I know that the last paragraph doesn't make perfect sense...you try to compress two weeks of thought into a paragraph.
Anyway...I found the first few weeks at least mildly stimulating...then last week the theme of the sermon was Debt is Bondage. Impressive title I know. But I had some issues with it. Don't get me wrong, I thin kdebt is bondage, and I try to avoid it. I would like to not owe any money on our condo. But the sermon focused on on Credit Card Debt, and ignored everything else. This was the safe choice. In a church as rich as the one we go to lots of people have debt, and most f it isn't credit card debt. Also I have a hunch that the decision was made because the church owes a lot of money. I'm not sure of that, but I would be surprised if it wasn't true.
So that was ok...a little disappointing...but not that bad.
This week the sermon was on Stepping into generosity. Which is a worthy goal...I am not nearly as generous as I wish I was.
But the focus was on giving money to the church...which is ok...but the proposed spending really got me
Special Spending Projects: around 30,000 for a variety of missions projects...and 300,000 for a remodeled sanctuary...in addition to normal costs.
When I realized what this is all about I have to admit I felt betrayed. I felt like I had been led into this series under false pretenses. Because it seems that ultimately the idea behind this series is to use people's guilt about their own spending and materialism to fund a spiffy new sanctuary, itself a manifestation of the very materialism that makes it possible.
So instead of helping people overcome their involvement in materialism...we fuel their addiction...nice
The opening message centered on Galatians 5: Stand free and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery...do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, serve one another in love...the acts of the sinful nature are...the fruit of the spirit is...
For me the central question became how do you position yourself before God. How I position myself before God and other people communicates my feelings towards them. Everyone tries to present themselves in a certain way, both to other people and to God(even when we know we can't). And for very few (or none) of us is that image that we portray, the image that we see when we look in the mirror. All of this is, I think, usually unconscious. So it is good to reevaluate ourselves on a regular basis, in order to understand our relationship with God. Also it is healthy to try to realign our actions with our mental priorities.
I know that the last paragraph doesn't make perfect sense...you try to compress two weeks of thought into a paragraph.
Anyway...I found the first few weeks at least mildly stimulating...then last week the theme of the sermon was Debt is Bondage. Impressive title I know. But I had some issues with it. Don't get me wrong, I thin kdebt is bondage, and I try to avoid it. I would like to not owe any money on our condo. But the sermon focused on on Credit Card Debt, and ignored everything else. This was the safe choice. In a church as rich as the one we go to lots of people have debt, and most f it isn't credit card debt. Also I have a hunch that the decision was made because the church owes a lot of money. I'm not sure of that, but I would be surprised if it wasn't true.
So that was ok...a little disappointing...but not that bad.
This week the sermon was on Stepping into generosity. Which is a worthy goal...I am not nearly as generous as I wish I was.
But the focus was on giving money to the church...which is ok...but the proposed spending really got me
Special Spending Projects: around 30,000 for a variety of missions projects...and 300,000 for a remodeled sanctuary...in addition to normal costs.
When I realized what this is all about I have to admit I felt betrayed. I felt like I had been led into this series under false pretenses. Because it seems that ultimately the idea behind this series is to use people's guilt about their own spending and materialism to fund a spiffy new sanctuary, itself a manifestation of the very materialism that makes it possible.
So instead of helping people overcome their involvement in materialism...we fuel their addiction...nice
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
boring
I took a test today. The rate-limiter on the test was reading speed. the first person out of the room was done in 17 minutes. That's more than 4 questions a minute. The last couple weeks have been really slow. It's as if, for both of the classes we have right now, they had too much material to fit on the last test, but not really enough to justify another whole test. That's ok though because it has allowed me to really not spend any time on schoolwork.
After I finished the test I had some extra time and didn't feel like studying for next weeks test, so I went to the hardware store. I replaced the thermostat and a broken light fixture. Now I can see the clothes in my closet and we have a functioning thermostat, which I guess is better than being cold all the time.
After I finished the test I had some extra time and didn't feel like studying for next weeks test, so I went to the hardware store. I replaced the thermostat and a broken light fixture. Now I can see the clothes in my closet and we have a functioning thermostat, which I guess is better than being cold all the time.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I've never known anyone this famous
Enter my wife's first and last name on google and check out the first listing
This is a one minute transcript from one of my lectures. I took the time to transcribe it for you. Go ahead and read it...read it out loud for maximum effect. the (hhh) is just a full exhalation, make it sound like you're getting the wind knocked out of you.
Lets uh look at uh uh neonatal jaundice ah uh uh also e ref(hhh)erred to uh as uh kern(hhh)icterus and uh and uh anduh this is ah a ah ah transient jaundiceah in uh neonates and ah and ah and ah d eh d eh dis ah occurs in particular in ah uh premature inf(hhh)ants ah um ah since ah since ah ah de ah de ah immature ah enzy(hhh)mes involved in ah bilirubin conjugation and ah and ah so there is ahthese pigments uh are ah metabolized ah ah by ah ah by ah ah so cytochrome P 45(hhh)0 and ah and ah for example ah cytochrome 3A4 ah that ah ah that ah is absent in the fetus and ah ah uh and uh in the...
Here is the relevant section from the notes we were given by the school
Neonatal Jaundice
In Neonates transient jaundice is common particularly in premature infants, and is due to immaturity of the enzymes involved in bilirubin concentration.
And yes he was actually reading off the power point screen
And this is what most of his lectures are like. The thing is though, I like the guy. He's really smart, and when he talks about his areas of specialty he's actually pretty interesting, if hard to follow. He taught the lecture on the biochemistry of AIDS(which ironically took place on Valentines day)--it was fascinating. He also brought candy bars to class.
Lets uh look at uh uh neonatal jaundice ah uh uh also e ref(hhh)erred to uh as uh kern(hhh)icterus and uh and uh anduh this is ah a ah ah transient jaundiceah in uh neonates and ah and ah and ah d eh d eh dis ah occurs in particular in ah uh premature inf(hhh)ants ah um ah since ah since ah ah de ah de ah immature ah enzy(hhh)mes involved in ah bilirubin conjugation and ah and ah so there is ahthese pigments uh are ah metabolized ah ah by ah ah by ah ah so cytochrome P 45(hhh)0 and ah and ah for example ah cytochrome 3A4 ah that ah ah that ah is absent in the fetus and ah ah uh and uh in the...
Here is the relevant section from the notes we were given by the school
Neonatal Jaundice
In Neonates transient jaundice is common particularly in premature infants, and is due to immaturity of the enzymes involved in bilirubin concentration.
And yes he was actually reading off the power point screen
And this is what most of his lectures are like. The thing is though, I like the guy. He's really smart, and when he talks about his areas of specialty he's actually pretty interesting, if hard to follow. He taught the lecture on the biochemistry of AIDS(which ironically took place on Valentines day)--it was fascinating. He also brought candy bars to class.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Robots
Fear not Steven:
For the first law of robotics states that a robot cannot do anything which would injure a human being.
Thus it is a logical impossibility for a robot to participate in the government. Particularly as its head.
So you can see, that despite the fact that they parrot public opinion, and sound as you would expect a robot to sound, they are not in fact robots. In fact what you have to realize that Robots are capable of critical thinking, their circuits are logic based. The presidential candidates haven't yet shown any hint of independant brain function yet.
Also Fear not Jane:
For any of the three can win and you won't be able to tell the difference. In fact they could all three win and you wouldn't be able to tell. They are robots after all.
For the first law of robotics states that a robot cannot do anything which would injure a human being.
Thus it is a logical impossibility for a robot to participate in the government. Particularly as its head.
So you can see, that despite the fact that they parrot public opinion, and sound as you would expect a robot to sound, they are not in fact robots. In fact what you have to realize that Robots are capable of critical thinking, their circuits are logic based. The presidential candidates haven't yet shown any hint of independant brain function yet.
Also Fear not Jane:
For any of the three can win and you won't be able to tell the difference. In fact they could all three win and you wouldn't be able to tell. They are robots after all.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Of power, race, and beautiful women
The mayor of Detroit is a man named Kwame Kilpatrick. He was first elected in 2002 and reelected in 2006 (there's the power part). For the record (its relevance will emerge) he is a black man and he is married(there's the beautiful woman part).
A bit of history:
1. During his first term in office Mr. Kilpatrick was embroiled in a scandal...it was alledged that he had an affair with his chief of staff (that makes it women). There was also a major issue over the doling out of city contracts ar some such that was the more important issue at the time. The man who blew the proverbial whistle was fired before he could get the whole story out, it was all covered up and lots of paper was shredder.
2. Also during his first term Mr. Kilpatrick was found to be having an affair with another woman(too bad there's no word meaning three women). So during his reelection campaign he went on TV and had an emotional moment with his wife where he apologized and vowed never to do it again and so on and so forth. And she said she was struggling with the pain and so on and so forth. Anyway he was reelected based apparently on the widespread perception that the white establishment of Detroit was out to get him (there's race)
3. Last fall the man who was fired for exposing the mayor's misbehavior fired suit under the federal whistleblower's protection act. As a part of that suit Mr. Kilpatrick testified under oath that he had never had an affair with his chief of staff. And she did the same. It didn't matter however because the jury found for the plaintiff. The city appealed and eventually settled with the lucky man who lost his job to the tune of several million dollars(taxpayer money in a city that can't afford to maintain basic services).
4. In January the Detroit Free Press aquired Mr Kilpatrick's work cell phone records under the freedom of information act and combed through his text messages. It was revealed unambiguously that he did in fact have an affair with his chief of staff and perjured himself during the trial. And he knew the whole time that the affair was a matter of public record easily accertainable by the public.
This is where I come in. I have taken to going down to the gym a few times a week and walking and running on the treadmill. I like to go at 7:30 and watch Jeopardy. So I went down there and turned on Jeopardy, except it wasn't it was Mr. Kilpatrick doing the whole "sorry I'll never do it again" song and dance routine with his wife. They were on every channal, so I had to listen to him go on and on about how he's not stepping down etc. I was a little upst because to my mind he really shouldn't even be given a stage upon which to act. And they canceled the show I was going to watch. Then, they had a little segment of reactions to the speech...every black respondant said they believed him and felt sorry for him and felt like he should be given another chance. Every white respondant thought he should step down. There were also protesters marching in the street against the white people of Detroit and the media for persecuting the Mayor. It was fascinating to me. It seems like race is a bigger issue here than in Arizona. I could be wrong. Anyway...here...or in Detroit anyway...its a chasm, a huge dividing factor. Not in personal interaction as much...but certainly in cultural outlook and approach major issues. I'm not trying to imply that all blacks or all whites think alike. Just that there is a major cultural divide in this city.
5. Mr Kilpatrick is currently embroiled in a scandal concerning a topless dancer who turned up brutally murdered and is currently believed to have had several affairs in office.
6. The thing is, he seems to have done a pretty good job as mayor of Detroit...not most people's dream job. The city has seen consistent improval by all accounts under his watch.
A bit of history:
1. During his first term in office Mr. Kilpatrick was embroiled in a scandal...it was alledged that he had an affair with his chief of staff (that makes it women). There was also a major issue over the doling out of city contracts ar some such that was the more important issue at the time. The man who blew the proverbial whistle was fired before he could get the whole story out, it was all covered up and lots of paper was shredder.
2. Also during his first term Mr. Kilpatrick was found to be having an affair with another woman(too bad there's no word meaning three women). So during his reelection campaign he went on TV and had an emotional moment with his wife where he apologized and vowed never to do it again and so on and so forth. And she said she was struggling with the pain and so on and so forth. Anyway he was reelected based apparently on the widespread perception that the white establishment of Detroit was out to get him (there's race)
3. Last fall the man who was fired for exposing the mayor's misbehavior fired suit under the federal whistleblower's protection act. As a part of that suit Mr. Kilpatrick testified under oath that he had never had an affair with his chief of staff. And she did the same. It didn't matter however because the jury found for the plaintiff. The city appealed and eventually settled with the lucky man who lost his job to the tune of several million dollars(taxpayer money in a city that can't afford to maintain basic services).
4. In January the Detroit Free Press aquired Mr Kilpatrick's work cell phone records under the freedom of information act and combed through his text messages. It was revealed unambiguously that he did in fact have an affair with his chief of staff and perjured himself during the trial. And he knew the whole time that the affair was a matter of public record easily accertainable by the public.
This is where I come in. I have taken to going down to the gym a few times a week and walking and running on the treadmill. I like to go at 7:30 and watch Jeopardy. So I went down there and turned on Jeopardy, except it wasn't it was Mr. Kilpatrick doing the whole "sorry I'll never do it again" song and dance routine with his wife. They were on every channal, so I had to listen to him go on and on about how he's not stepping down etc. I was a little upst because to my mind he really shouldn't even be given a stage upon which to act. And they canceled the show I was going to watch. Then, they had a little segment of reactions to the speech...every black respondant said they believed him and felt sorry for him and felt like he should be given another chance. Every white respondant thought he should step down. There were also protesters marching in the street against the white people of Detroit and the media for persecuting the Mayor. It was fascinating to me. It seems like race is a bigger issue here than in Arizona. I could be wrong. Anyway...here...or in Detroit anyway...its a chasm, a huge dividing factor. Not in personal interaction as much...but certainly in cultural outlook and approach major issues. I'm not trying to imply that all blacks or all whites think alike. Just that there is a major cultural divide in this city.
5. Mr Kilpatrick is currently embroiled in a scandal concerning a topless dancer who turned up brutally murdered and is currently believed to have had several affairs in office.
6. The thing is, he seems to have done a pretty good job as mayor of Detroit...not most people's dream job. The city has seen consistent improval by all accounts under his watch.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
On not writing and difficult tests
I know that perhaps you have checked the sight a couple times since last I wrote. In fact if statistics are anything to go by you've stopped checking it entirely.
Anyway...I had a test today...and I had a test yesterday...and I had a test last week...Now I don't have anything looming for a few weeks.
So in a sign of how priority inverting curved test scores can be, I have decided that I prefer difficult tests. Especially when I don't know they're going to be difficult and they really knock you off your feet.
Here's why:
I pretty much get the same score on every test. I've only been outside the 90-95 area a couple of times when I moved up near a hundred. So when the test is really difficult the average plummets and my standard score shoots through the roof. When tests are really easy the average rises and my standard score falls.
Yesterday's test was tough. I struggled on at least a third of the questions. I couldn't see straight by the time I left. Everybody else complained about how tough it was...I smiled. Today's test left me blurry eyed too...but for a different reason. It was so boring I felt like I was going to fall asleep. There were only a handful of questions I even had doubts about. (probably missed a few because I went too fast though). Everybody else smiled as they left the room...
Anyway...I had a test today...and I had a test yesterday...and I had a test last week...Now I don't have anything looming for a few weeks.
So in a sign of how priority inverting curved test scores can be, I have decided that I prefer difficult tests. Especially when I don't know they're going to be difficult and they really knock you off your feet.
Here's why:
I pretty much get the same score on every test. I've only been outside the 90-95 area a couple of times when I moved up near a hundred. So when the test is really difficult the average plummets and my standard score shoots through the roof. When tests are really easy the average rises and my standard score falls.
Yesterday's test was tough. I struggled on at least a third of the questions. I couldn't see straight by the time I left. Everybody else complained about how tough it was...I smiled. Today's test left me blurry eyed too...but for a different reason. It was so boring I felt like I was going to fall asleep. There were only a handful of questions I even had doubts about. (probably missed a few because I went too fast though). Everybody else smiled as they left the room...
Sunday, January 06, 2008
coffee
When I got home from playing frisbee, I thought, : a cup of coffee would be good. So I started a fresh pot.
Then I changed my clothes...then I wrote the last post...then I checked my email...then I realized I needed to get some laundry done...so I started it, then I needed to take out the trash...and so on and so forth...I had a lot of things that needed doing...and I forgot about the coffee. Eventually I realized that the house smelled like coffee... by the time I drank it it had the stale, been cooking for a while taste...and I thought that is something my mother might have done.
Then I changed my clothes...then I wrote the last post...then I checked my email...then I realized I needed to get some laundry done...so I started it, then I needed to take out the trash...and so on and so forth...I had a lot of things that needed doing...and I forgot about the coffee. Eventually I realized that the house smelled like coffee... by the time I drank it it had the stale, been cooking for a while taste...and I thought that is something my mother might have done.
Snow
I like snow. I often wonder what it would be like to live in a place where snow lasts all winter.
Here it doesn't, and melting snow isn't nice.
It gets all brown and takes forever to melt.
I played ultimate frisbee today. The snow on the ground was more slush than snow. Every step sent slush spraying into the air. Parts of the field had 2-3 inches of water. It was about 50 degrees Farenheit...which felt relatively balmy...except in the wet parts. My toes are still recovering.
I used to play frisbee in several inches of water in phoenix, when they irrigated the fields...in retrospect that was gross, since the irrigation water was reclaimed.
Anyway, despite the loss of feeling in several toes, the game was fun. After playing for a while we decided to play to five and then call it quits. As time passed and defense reigned, we decided to play to three. Eventually we were reduced to "next point wins." I scored the winning point...to everyone's relief
Here it doesn't, and melting snow isn't nice.
It gets all brown and takes forever to melt.
I played ultimate frisbee today. The snow on the ground was more slush than snow. Every step sent slush spraying into the air. Parts of the field had 2-3 inches of water. It was about 50 degrees Farenheit...which felt relatively balmy...except in the wet parts. My toes are still recovering.
I used to play frisbee in several inches of water in phoenix, when they irrigated the fields...in retrospect that was gross, since the irrigation water was reclaimed.
Anyway, despite the loss of feeling in several toes, the game was fun. After playing for a while we decided to play to five and then call it quits. As time passed and defense reigned, we decided to play to three. Eventually we were reduced to "next point wins." I scored the winning point...to everyone's relief
Thursday, January 03, 2008
to Mark...thank you
Sitting here having
a nice ginger biscotti
a warm cup of joe
The temperature's stuck
at negative four or five
but coffee is good
a nice ginger biscotti
a warm cup of joe
The temperature's stuck
at negative four or five
but coffee is good
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
things you learn when you're not in school
We had a nice evening at the Raymonds tonight. Aunt Ginger made soup. Nan came over with Ursa her Swedish Moose hound
1. Ice skating is fun. especially outside. I suppose over the last fifteen years I've gotten used to ice skating being an indoor activity and forgotten how fun it can be. Needless to say, I'm not a particularly proficient. But we had fun.
The last time I was skating out of doors was March 2004 at the Rockafeller Center in New York, with Mark. That was fun.
2. Hockey is much more difficult than it appears. Getting the puck to move in the direction you wish is a challenge. Skating while attempting to do so is not recommended.
3. Homemade hot fudge is tasty. Particularly when combined with ice cream. Vanilla and chocolate...who'd have guessed.
1. Ice skating is fun. especially outside. I suppose over the last fifteen years I've gotten used to ice skating being an indoor activity and forgotten how fun it can be. Needless to say, I'm not a particularly proficient. But we had fun.
The last time I was skating out of doors was March 2004 at the Rockafeller Center in New York, with Mark. That was fun.
2. Hockey is much more difficult than it appears. Getting the puck to move in the direction you wish is a challenge. Skating while attempting to do so is not recommended.
3. Homemade hot fudge is tasty. Particularly when combined with ice cream. Vanilla and chocolate...who'd have guessed.
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