dead babies and other assorted travesties

Today a woman came into the hospital. She was in severe pain, but noone is really sure what the cause is.

The hospital here is very effective at treating common ailments, and at doing realatively simple procedures. But, for anything less common, it is very difficult. There are a lot of reasons for that, which I hope to discuss later...

So there's not a lot that can be done for the woman. She can go to Port au Prince, where they might be able to figure it out...except she probably can't go to Port au Prince because that costs money...which she doesn't have. Either she'll get better or she won't.

It gets even more complicated though...she recently had a baby. During her pregnancy she had eclampsia, and she ended up having a C-section. The baby got sick and died twelve days ago. Infant mortality (every type of mortality...and morbidity for that matter) is high here. Malaria is deadly...90 percent of its victims are under five. Diahrrea is deadly (unless you rehydrate with electrolyte solution--which costs all of 10 cents a day or so for a child). Malnutrition is deadly...walking in the street is deadly...machetes are lethal...In short, the deck is stacked against children. We forget this, because we have put up walls around our children.

And a furthur complication...she doesn't know the baby is dead yet. Her family hasn't told her...they told her they sent the baby to a hospital in Port au Prince. This too is apparently not all that uncommon. They can't figure out how to tell her...and how exactly do you tell a woman that her child is dead?

Hip Hip Hoorah

ADRIENNE

I just want to say "I love you"

Happy Anniversary

Three years and counting

EVERYONE ELSE

sorry for the mush

but it's my blog

and I can say whatever I want.

Don't read this post

SERIOUSLY

IF YOU GET NIGHTMARES IT'S NOT MY FAULT




Yesterday a girl came into the hospital with her father. She had recently given birth. She presented with sever burns on the inside of her legs up to her buttocks. The wounds were infected.

One of the folk medicine beliefs here is that after giving birth a woman has to be cleansed. The method for this is to sit over a pot of boiling water and let the vapors purify you. So an older woman in this girls family made her do this. They held her over the fire...she must have been screaming and squirming...there's no way she could have just sat there. They held her there until her skin burned off. Then to bandage the wound they mixed ashes with water to make a paste and spread it on.

She didn't give birth in the hospital because they live a long ways away and couldn't afford it. Finally her father brought her in. Turns out her baby wa sick too. It wasn't getting adequate nourishment because her body was under such stress.



I WARNED YOU

Some things to think about

The standard measurement of rice in the market is a small can that holds about two cups. It currently sells for 6 Haitian dollars or slightly less than what more than half of Haitians live on...one US dollar. According to the bag that rice comes in in the US that's eight servings and 1020 calories. No vitamins. (except the ones in rice) a small amount of protein.

So if you made an average amount of money and spent all of it on rice you would still be undernourished and malnourished and you couldn't support your children or wife.

That's why everywhere you go are small gardens. I climbed up to the forts with the medical director of the hospital today. It took about three hours to get up there. We left at five. On our way back down we came a different way through a valley (ok not a valley...cleft in the mountain) that gets enough rain and has enough soil to support (or at least tolerate) crops. We were still a couple hours walking from town when the gardens began. People farming small plots with corn, or beans, lower down there were a few banana trees. In some places mango trees(mango trees would be a good investment...except that they all ripen at the same time so everybody's out selling rotting mangos on the streets together).

Cooking rice without gas, electricity or wood is difficult....so you have to buy charcoal...or go cut your own wood...except there isn't any wood. The only place where we saw any wood was up at the very top of the mountain...and even there the trees were stumps with twigs growing out of them. Every branch that could be cut with a machete had been cut. And there was a guy up there with his machete, cutting away at the twigs that had grown up since the last time he was there.

So you've got rice...and wood to cook it...toasted rice, yum. Or you can go get water. So you take a five gallon bucket, or whatever container you have and walk to the spring. You pump your water and walk back. If there isn't any rain you're going to have to carry that five gallon bucket full straight up the mountain to water your little patch of ground. There were people doing this. (and when I say straight up I mean it...when all of your time is spent trying to survive you don't have time for switchbacks)

If you're still reading...which I recognize most of you aren't....think about this.

The price of food in Haiti has gone up, just like it has in he US. But unlike the US where food costs consume around 9 percent of our budget, in Haiti food takes up almost the whole budget. So what do you get rid of to pay for food, when food was all you were buying in the first place.

Schools run by churches used to feed children hot meals five days a week. Now most are down to two days a week...a few still do three days. Except the meal is smaller than it used to be, no meat, no vegetables...rice and beans. (and not very many beans)

bugs and bugs

So last night I was sitting up reading a little. My light was on...I looked up and there were 40+ species of insect in bed with me...literally, I counted as well as I could. They ranged from a couple inches to barely visible. And I have screens on all my windows. Imagine life without screens.

Today was really my first full day at the hospital...I knew that there are a lot of diseases in Haiti that really don't exist anymore in other places. I just didn't realize how prevelant they are. I only saw around ten patients and I saw two cases of malaria, one of typhoid, one of TB, and another of scabies. One of the malaria cases was a 14 month old little girl. She ended up staying in the hospital.

hospital time

Today was a slow day at the hospital apparently. Could have fooled me...can't wait to see it on a busy day.

I was able to communicate with a number of the doctors. Apparently under Aristide the goverment started handing out scholarships to study medicine in Cuba....which is good since Cuba trains pretty good doctors. So a few of the doctors at the hospital speak Spanish well. so I talked in Spanish more than English and Creole combined today.

the biggest business at the hospital is the maternity ward. Haiti has a high birth rate and a high infant mortality rate. Because of the lack of prenatal care eclampsia (that's what preelcampsia becomes if left untreated--pretty rare in the US) is a major problem. The have a whole room of beds devoted to it.

Judging how busy the hospital is difficult because every admited patient brings at least one guest to take care of them, prepare their food etc. This keeps prices down, but increases crowdedness.

peace

National Highway 1

Today we drove to Desallines--the first capital of Haiti. On the mountain that stretches above it there is a series of five forts built to watch for the return of Napoleans troops.

Most of our journey was along National Highway 1 which connects the two biggest cities--Port au Prince and Cape Hatien. It's about one and a half lanes, with no markings, and often no road. Four-wheel drive is a virtual neccessity to navigate certain stretches. Potholes that could swallow your car abound. Piles of garbage line the road outside cities. One famous thing about Haiti is its lack of trees. This country has attained the unique distinction of 98 percent deforestation. And there's not much hope for reforestation. Charcoal is the main fuel for most people--gas is prohibitively expensive to the 65-70 percent of Hatians who live on less than one dollar a day. Of course lots of other things are prohibitively expensive...meat...shelter not made out of dried mud...medicine...etc (it's a long list)

Two stories.

We stopped to talk to the gentlemen who work at a sawmill along the road...They had a huge log (maybe 8' long, 18" in diameter) up on some tall (7-8') homemade sawhorses. One guy was standing on the log, the other guy underneath and they were cutting the log into 8-10 boards with a two person saw. Push Pull, Push Pull. They said it took them about half a day to do each log.

We also stopped to talk to a woman who works in the construction business. Rocks, sticks and mud are the main materials for house construction. Cement blocks for the wealthy. Her job was to break up big rocks into little rocks of varying sizes to use un mud walls or cement mixing for roads. Essentially her job was to make gravel out of boulders....her tool? a hammer. All day, sitting on a pile of rocks banging at them with a hammer.

haiti

I know it's been a while

I've been busy.

Actually, I don't know why I haven't posted.

I'm in Haiti now. Port au Prince to be exact. I flew in last night. The flight was uneventful

What an interesting place. Colorful, alive. Loud, vibrant. Hot, but not that hot, just unairconditioned

as in most places I've been, the rich live above everyone else, literally. The higher you go in the hills, the nicer it gets.

Everything is made out of concrete. Wood gets termites too easily.

goats, cows, chickens, and corn (like the plants, not just for sale) are common in the city streets.

When I flew in the customs officials had run out of the green forms for entry'exit visas, without which you can't enter the country. The only person who had any was this one lady, behind a counter, upon whom descended the mob as soon as we entered the terminal. She had a small stack...not nearly enough for everyone who needed one. She insisted on filling the forms out for everyone...except occasionally someone would yell at her loud enough or say the magic words to convince her to give them one. she ran out...then opened her drawer and pulled out a slightly larger pile...repeat process. the crush of people threatening to crush the counter. after thirty minutes her second pile was gone, only 20 or so remained. She calmly, without any apparent awareness of her own ridiculousity, walked over to a cupboard, and pulled out a stack of several hundred forms and passed them out to all who remained.

On brains and sledgehammers

On Friday I took a test. It was in Neuro. I studied for it all week. I basically didn' do anything last week except study for this test. And it was a brutally hard test.

I woke up on Friday morning with a headache. I didn't sleep well the night before because I had a lot on my mind. So I woke up with a headache. Usually such headaches kind of go away as the day goes on. They kind of wear away. I get them all the time...probably because I don't sleep as much as I should. Clouds also seem to increase their intensity...but that's neither here nor there.

The point is, I started praying when I woke up that I wouldn't have a headache for the test and that I would still be able to do well. I kept it up all day...I can see why monks uses to flog themselves or put their thumbs in vice grips. Pain really tends to focus your mind on prayer.

But this stupid headache wouldn' go away...at least all the way. It diminished to the point where it was only a minor disturbance to my stream odf thought. My test was at one. So I took the test, and while I was taking it I was a little annoyed that I still had a headache. I thought, "So much for this prayer thing"

As I said it was a brutal test. They picked out the minutest details to test upon and wrote the questions to confuse and flummox even the most prepared of test-takers.

When I left the room, I felt like someone had hit me on the head with a sledgehammer as I walked through the door. I could barely walk. I still had to drive home. So there I was driving home with sunglasses on and my eyes half closed to keep out the light, with tears flowing down my face. Luckily there wasn't much traffic. And I was able to hold off the pain induced discharge of gastric contents until I got home. It was one of the worst headaches I've had in a long time.

So praise God for headaches

computer virus

This morning I was checking my email and a little window popped up that said "I want to talk to you."

I unplugged the computer in an effort to reestablish my dominance over all electronic life forms.

I don't ever want to talk to my computer.

out of luck

Cell phones are a continual source of frustration to me. I always forget to plug mine in. I get frustrated when it runs out of batteries. I feel like, I already plugged it in once, why do I have to do it again. I get sick of the cyclical.

record setting

26 people at our house

it was a great time. We celebrated the end of winter two days after 4 inches fell. It was a beautiful, sunny day, perfect for a barbecue and despite the 40 degree weather, flip flops, shorts and hawaiian shirts were in abundance. A good time was had by all.

I know I know, it's ironical

Technology frustrates me. I don't understand it....ok I guess that's technically untrue...I mean toilets and shovels are technology of a certain sort, and I understand them. I had this book when I was younger called The Way Things Work. It was a good book, I learned a lot from it...until my physics teacher stole it (literally) from me.

Anyway, it didn't really have much about computers in it. And the parts it did have didn't make a lot of sense to me. It seems like computers should make sense to me. I mean really all it is is a bunch of ones and zeros floating around in space.

Technology comes with great promise...it saves time, it helps you communicate, it makes life easier....more more more


Somebody once said there's a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon about everything. (at least I assume someone has said that...it seems like it might be true, and it would make you sound smart if you said it...maybe) There's one about this too...you should check it out.


Communication via cyberspace is a cheap substitute for the telephone, which is a cheap substitute for letter writing, which is a cheap substitute for carving inscriptions on clay tablets, which is a cheap substitute of whacking your neighbor on the head with a club and grunting with satisfaction.


As for timesaving, if you add in all the hours I've spent trying to get computers to work, waiting for them to restart, throwing them across the room in frustration, trying to put them together again, and pounding them with clubs while grunting with satisfaction...I haven't saved any time at all. In fact Bill Gates probably owes me several thousand hours of wasted time.

As for making life easier...when a computer can bring me breakfast in bed for a full year in a row without me even having to look at it, then and only then will I concede that point.

I was listening to the classical music station today on my way to school. and Huepongo came on.

That is one of my favorite songs of all time. And not just because It has a trombone solo I played once....ok that's part of it. But really It's a great song. Probably my favorite trombone solo I played.

Anyway...as I was going to say before my train of thought got derailed is...it's fun to sing along to songs on the radio

I suppose I should qualify my statements. I like the church we attend, I love the people there, I have great respect for the pastoral team. I did not mean my comments as a condemnation. I just want to register the feeling I had. They probably didn't intend the purposes I ascribed to them.

But that said, the way it came across to someone who sees modern sound and video equipment as less than desirable, was as crassly materialistic.

Betrayed

Three or four weeks ago, the church we attend started a new series called Consumed. We were presented with a central question...what consumes you? Christ? Money? Something else?

The opening message centered on Galatians 5: Stand free and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery...do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, serve one another in love...the acts of the sinful nature are...the fruit of the spirit is...

For me the central question became how do you position yourself before God. How I position myself before God and other people communicates my feelings towards them. Everyone tries to present themselves in a certain way, both to other people and to God(even when we know we can't). And for very few (or none) of us is that image that we portray, the image that we see when we look in the mirror. All of this is, I think, usually unconscious. So it is good to reevaluate ourselves on a regular basis, in order to understand our relationship with God. Also it is healthy to try to realign our actions with our mental priorities.

I know that the last paragraph doesn't make perfect sense...you try to compress two weeks of thought into a paragraph.

Anyway...I found the first few weeks at least mildly stimulating...then last week the theme of the sermon was Debt is Bondage. Impressive title I know. But I had some issues with it. Don't get me wrong, I thin kdebt is bondage, and I try to avoid it. I would like to not owe any money on our condo. But the sermon focused on on Credit Card Debt, and ignored everything else. This was the safe choice. In a church as rich as the one we go to lots of people have debt, and most f it isn't credit card debt. Also I have a hunch that the decision was made because the church owes a lot of money. I'm not sure of that, but I would be surprised if it wasn't true.

So that was ok...a little disappointing...but not that bad.

This week the sermon was on Stepping into generosity. Which is a worthy goal...I am not nearly as generous as I wish I was.

But the focus was on giving money to the church...which is ok...but the proposed spending really got me
Special Spending Projects: around 30,000 for a variety of missions projects...and 300,000 for a remodeled sanctuary...in addition to normal costs.

When I realized what this is all about I have to admit I felt betrayed. I felt like I had been led into this series under false pretenses. Because it seems that ultimately the idea behind this series is to use people's guilt about their own spending and materialism to fund a spiffy new sanctuary, itself a manifestation of the very materialism that makes it possible.

So instead of helping people overcome their involvement in materialism...we fuel their addiction...nice

boring

I took a test today. The rate-limiter on the test was reading speed. the first person out of the room was done in 17 minutes. That's more than 4 questions a minute. The last couple weeks have been really slow. It's as if, for both of the classes we have right now, they had too much material to fit on the last test, but not really enough to justify another whole test. That's ok though because it has allowed me to really not spend any time on schoolwork.

After I finished the test I had some extra time and didn't feel like studying for next weeks test, so I went to the hardware store. I replaced the thermostat and a broken light fixture. Now I can see the clothes in my closet and we have a functioning thermostat, which I guess is better than being cold all the time.

I've never known anyone this famous

Enter my wife's first and last name on google and check out the first listing

This is a one minute transcript from one of my lectures. I took the time to transcribe it for you. Go ahead and read it...read it out loud for maximum effect. the (hhh) is just a full exhalation, make it sound like you're getting the wind knocked out of you.

Lets uh look at uh uh neonatal jaundice ah uh uh also e ref(hhh)erred to uh as uh kern(hhh)icterus and uh and uh anduh this is ah a ah ah transient jaundiceah in uh neonates and ah and ah and ah d eh d eh dis ah occurs in particular in ah uh premature inf(hhh)ants ah um ah since ah since ah ah de ah de ah immature ah enzy(hhh)mes involved in ah bilirubin conjugation and ah and ah so there is ahthese pigments uh are ah metabolized ah ah by ah ah by ah ah so cytochrome P 45(hhh)0 and ah and ah for example ah cytochrome 3A4 ah that ah ah that ah is absent in the fetus and ah ah uh and uh in the...

Here is the relevant section from the notes we were given by the school

Neonatal Jaundice
In Neonates transient jaundice is common particularly in premature infants, and is due to immaturity of the enzymes involved in bilirubin concentration.

And yes he was actually reading off the power point screen

And this is what most of his lectures are like. The thing is though, I like the guy. He's really smart, and when he talks about his areas of specialty he's actually pretty interesting, if hard to follow. He taught the lecture on the biochemistry of AIDS(which ironically took place on Valentines day)--it was fascinating. He also brought candy bars to class.

Winston Churchill once said Kremlinology was like watching dogs fight under a carpet.

Presidential politics is like those little plastic toy boxing robots.

We have no degrees, that's right...none. I need degrees

in fact if you're talking Celsius we're in degree debt.


Maybe I'll start counting in Kelvin

Robots

Fear not Steven:

For the first law of robotics states that a robot cannot do anything which would injure a human being.

Thus it is a logical impossibility for a robot to participate in the government. Particularly as its head.

So you can see, that despite the fact that they parrot public opinion, and sound as you would expect a robot to sound, they are not in fact robots. In fact what you have to realize that Robots are capable of critical thinking, their circuits are logic based. The presidential candidates haven't yet shown any hint of independant brain function yet.

Also Fear not Jane:

For any of the three can win and you won't be able to tell the difference. In fact they could all three win and you wouldn't be able to tell. They are robots after all.

Of power, race, and beautiful women

The mayor of Detroit is a man named Kwame Kilpatrick. He was first elected in 2002 and reelected in 2006 (there's the power part). For the record (its relevance will emerge) he is a black man and he is married(there's the beautiful woman part).

A bit of history:
1. During his first term in office Mr. Kilpatrick was embroiled in a scandal...it was alledged that he had an affair with his chief of staff (that makes it women). There was also a major issue over the doling out of city contracts ar some such that was the more important issue at the time. The man who blew the proverbial whistle was fired before he could get the whole story out, it was all covered up and lots of paper was shredder.

2. Also during his first term Mr. Kilpatrick was found to be having an affair with another woman(too bad there's no word meaning three women). So during his reelection campaign he went on TV and had an emotional moment with his wife where he apologized and vowed never to do it again and so on and so forth. And she said she was struggling with the pain and so on and so forth. Anyway he was reelected based apparently on the widespread perception that the white establishment of Detroit was out to get him (there's race)

3. Last fall the man who was fired for exposing the mayor's misbehavior fired suit under the federal whistleblower's protection act. As a part of that suit Mr. Kilpatrick testified under oath that he had never had an affair with his chief of staff. And she did the same. It didn't matter however because the jury found for the plaintiff. The city appealed and eventually settled with the lucky man who lost his job to the tune of several million dollars(taxpayer money in a city that can't afford to maintain basic services).

4. In January the Detroit Free Press aquired Mr Kilpatrick's work cell phone records under the freedom of information act and combed through his text messages. It was revealed unambiguously that he did in fact have an affair with his chief of staff and perjured himself during the trial. And he knew the whole time that the affair was a matter of public record easily accertainable by the public.

This is where I come in. I have taken to going down to the gym a few times a week and walking and running on the treadmill. I like to go at 7:30 and watch Jeopardy. So I went down there and turned on Jeopardy, except it wasn't it was Mr. Kilpatrick doing the whole "sorry I'll never do it again" song and dance routine with his wife. They were on every channal, so I had to listen to him go on and on about how he's not stepping down etc. I was a little upst because to my mind he really shouldn't even be given a stage upon which to act. And they canceled the show I was going to watch. Then, they had a little segment of reactions to the speech...every black respondant said they believed him and felt sorry for him and felt like he should be given another chance. Every white respondant thought he should step down. There were also protesters marching in the street against the white people of Detroit and the media for persecuting the Mayor. It was fascinating to me. It seems like race is a bigger issue here than in Arizona. I could be wrong. Anyway...here...or in Detroit anyway...its a chasm, a huge dividing factor. Not in personal interaction as much...but certainly in cultural outlook and approach major issues. I'm not trying to imply that all blacks or all whites think alike. Just that there is a major cultural divide in this city.

5. Mr Kilpatrick is currently embroiled in a scandal concerning a topless dancer who turned up brutally murdered and is currently believed to have had several affairs in office.

6. The thing is, he seems to have done a pretty good job as mayor of Detroit...not most people's dream job. The city has seen consistent improval by all accounts under his watch.

Happy Birthday

On not writing and difficult tests

I know that perhaps you have checked the sight a couple times since last I wrote. In fact if statistics are anything to go by you've stopped checking it entirely.

Anyway...I had a test today...and I had a test yesterday...and I had a test last week...Now I don't have anything looming for a few weeks.

So in a sign of how priority inverting curved test scores can be, I have decided that I prefer difficult tests. Especially when I don't know they're going to be difficult and they really knock you off your feet.

Here's why:
I pretty much get the same score on every test. I've only been outside the 90-95 area a couple of times when I moved up near a hundred. So when the test is really difficult the average plummets and my standard score shoots through the roof. When tests are really easy the average rises and my standard score falls.

Yesterday's test was tough. I struggled on at least a third of the questions. I couldn't see straight by the time I left. Everybody else complained about how tough it was...I smiled. Today's test left me blurry eyed too...but for a different reason. It was so boring I felt like I was going to fall asleep. There were only a handful of questions I even had doubts about. (probably missed a few because I went too fast though). Everybody else smiled as they left the room...

coffee

When I got home from playing frisbee, I thought, : a cup of coffee would be good. So I started a fresh pot.

Then I changed my clothes...then I wrote the last post...then I checked my email...then I realized I needed to get some laundry done...so I started it, then I needed to take out the trash...and so on and so forth...I had a lot of things that needed doing...and I forgot about the coffee. Eventually I realized that the house smelled like coffee... by the time I drank it it had the stale, been cooking for a while taste...and I thought that is something my mother might have done.

Snow

I like snow. I often wonder what it would be like to live in a place where snow lasts all winter.

Here it doesn't, and melting snow isn't nice.

It gets all brown and takes forever to melt.

I played ultimate frisbee today. The snow on the ground was more slush than snow. Every step sent slush spraying into the air. Parts of the field had 2-3 inches of water. It was about 50 degrees Farenheit...which felt relatively balmy...except in the wet parts. My toes are still recovering.

I used to play frisbee in several inches of water in phoenix, when they irrigated the fields...in retrospect that was gross, since the irrigation water was reclaimed.

Anyway, despite the loss of feeling in several toes, the game was fun. After playing for a while we decided to play to five and then call it quits. As time passed and defense reigned, we decided to play to three. Eventually we were reduced to "next point wins." I scored the winning point...to everyone's relief

to Mark...thank you

Sitting here having

a nice ginger biscotti

a warm cup of joe


The temperature's stuck

at negative four or five

but coffee is good

things you learn when you're not in school

We had a nice evening at the Raymonds tonight. Aunt Ginger made soup. Nan came over with Ursa her Swedish Moose hound

1. Ice skating is fun. especially outside. I suppose over the last fifteen years I've gotten used to ice skating being an indoor activity and forgotten how fun it can be. Needless to say, I'm not a particularly proficient. But we had fun.
The last time I was skating out of doors was March 2004 at the Rockafeller Center in New York, with Mark. That was fun.

2. Hockey is much more difficult than it appears. Getting the puck to move in the direction you wish is a challenge. Skating while attempting to do so is not recommended.

3. Homemade hot fudge is tasty. Particularly when combined with ice cream. Vanilla and chocolate...who'd have guessed.

Deep Freeze alert

Last night all of th local news stations and internet outlets carried a deep freeze alert for the city of Tucson.

The projected temperature was 33

On hospitality

We're heading home tomorrow--after six months in the desert. well ok, maybe it hasn't been all that bad--it just feels that way after the tests I've had over the last few days. Talk about a brutal experience.

But it is done, 1/8 of the way there. And we're coming home. But before we do I would like to offer a word of gratitude. Our family here has reached out to us and made our time here thus far an enjoyable experience. I don't know if we could have made it without them. So if you are reading this (and you may never do so--my readership is pretty low) thank you. In particular I would like to thank Poppy and Grandma for having us over whenever we call. And Aunt Ginger and Uncle Dave, who have treated us like their fourth child and made a consistent effort to include us in everything (last weekend we had a great time going to the tree farm and picking out a tree with them, we didn't get to have one this year).

So to those of you I will see soon, I have missed you, and look forward to seeing you. and to those of you here--thank you..

Things I wish I could have seen

I was driving home, talking on the phone to Adrienne. She was distracted, we hung up...five minutes later she called frantic. She couldn't find her keys...I calmed her down a bit, and talked her through it. She was convinced she had thrown them out with the trash. I tried to talk her out of it, but she was insistent. She climbed into the dumpster. In the process of climbing into the dumpster she took off her jacket. When she got out, she realized that her keys were in the pocket of her sweater, and had been concealed under her jacket.

Oh how I love her...I just wish I could have seen it.

Adrienne's

rough and tumble driving style requires a high coefficient of friction--if you can't hear the squeal when you hit the brakes you weren't driving fast enough right.

she called from the corner--less than a hundred yards from the house. Slid through the stop sign.

don't worry I drove the car home--luckily there weren't any cars moving the other way.

Ice

lowers the coefficient of friction between rubber and asphalt...as any engineer worth his salt will tell you...salt being a handy tool for increasing said coefficient of friction...at least at certain temperatures.

Salt was also used by the Romans to lower the coefficient of fertility in the soil around Carthage.

Which brings up an interesting question....why does anything grow in this state?

it is finished

I am officially done with my first two classes: Gross Anatomy and Histology

My scores were 648 and 643 respectively. I'm not sure what they mean, but I think they're ok. I do know they're not percentages, but I've been told that percentages don't matter anymore. All that matters is how you do in relation to everybody else. so if you get a 90 and everybody else gets a 95 you lose...or something. Anyway, I don't know what anyone else got so I can't tell if I did well. So what I'm left with is a pair of relatively meaningless scores.

So in protest I'm going back to the good old days of just worrying about how I did. That is 93% and 95% respectively. See that looks so much better to me. It actually carries meaning. Even given that the testing system is rather arbitrary and given my ability to guess better than basically every other person in medical school, it still carries more meaning than those other numbers.

Anyway. The two new classes are Biochemistry and Physiology. To be honest...I don't have a clue what's going on in eithe one. Actually that's a lie. Physiology is interesting, and I can keep up with the professor at least half of the time on a good day. Biochemistry is a whole different beast. She's from India so she says things like methial for methyl or and jen for gene and you can forget about words like adenine and guayanine. Listening to lecture is like a guessing game.

Suffice to say that my stellar(as far as I can judge) record thus far is about to make a swirling exit

Christmas List

As readers of my blog may know, I'm not very good with Christmas lists.

I am sorry

On the other hand...

I am very gracious no matter what you give me...

And I will be thankful

Happy Thanksgiving

What a wonderful day thanksgiving is. We had snow today. It was fun to walk through the snow. We're not used to that.
I'm thankful for lots of things, but I'm not going to list them all here.

One of my favorite parts of thanksgiving dinner is the cranberries. Something about cranberries mixed with turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes is spectacular.

I was a little disappointed today though. I'm used to Thanksgiving being an all day affair. Everybody spending time with each other in the morning then helping with dinner and eating together. So it was a little strange to just be invited to a Thanksgiving dinner. The whole day I didn't know what to do. I just kind of sat around waiting until it was time to go to dinner.

And I missed my family. My favorite thanksgiving I think, was when we went to the ranch. That was fun. My least favorite thanksgiving was when I was in Egypt and I didn't even realize it was thanksgiving.

So we'll have an easy quiz so everyone can be thankful for quiz points

for one and a half points...where was the first thanksgiving celebration on this continent?

For another point which president proclaimed the first official day of thanksgiving?

and for half a point, which president made it a permanent official holiday?

Pop Quiz

So we're going to start a new quiz feature. I will pose a question and then put the answer under comments. If you can answer the question without looking it up, then you get to add a comment giving your point total for that question.

So over the weekend 3000 people died in and around Dhaka.

one point if you know where Dhaka, another one if you know what killed the people and 3 if you know what language they speak.

On sports

We went to the UM/OSU football game yesterday. It was to say the least, an interesting experience.

I have to admit, I don't really enjoy sporting events for the most part, or at least I'm beginning to think that I don't. Crowds aren't really my thing. But aside from that, being a spectator really isn't my thing.

I love playing sports. Pretty much any sport. Granted, I'm not very good at any of them, but I enjoy letting my competitive nature free for a while from time to time. But watching sports is the worst. It's like playing, in that if you're not careful you'll become invested in the outcome, but you don't have any control over the outcome. In the case of the game I went to ysterday, I could only sit and watch as Ohio State beat Michigan. Luckily, I'm not as invested in Michigan football as a lot of other people or it would have ruined my whole day.

Over the years I've been to a few professional baseball games, and a few college football games, and even a college basketball game. And they've all been fun, to a point. My best experiences were when I was a child sat in awe at the outsized nature of big time sports. As an adult the chief pleasure in going to a game has been derived from the company. Perhaps I've become inured to the grandiose after 26 years in the US.

Inevitably, at some point during the game I begin to ask myself...what's the point. Why am I here? What is so compelling that 110,000 people would gather in one place? A bunch of young men throwing a ball around? Is that really so gripping, so important that it draws more people than church, or than the symphony, or even than a rock concert?

Besides that I always feel a little a little guilty. For one thing there is an association between big time sports and alcohol. Walking through the rows of tailgaters at 10 in the morning the alcohol flowed freely. Even on the high-school campus every car had a table set up with rows of bottles.
Besides that, there's the money issue. It would be hard to justify the money that goes toward sports in this country if it went towards buying food for homeless people. But as it is it goes to television stations, agents, owners and guys with big guns.

So anyway,

Happy Birthday

this is a fun picture









and this is so I don't get disowned

On Tests

I just had a test today. It was a final exam. Tests make me feel so inadequate.

First the teacher presents material. I learn it. Then the teacher tests me on that material. Nothing on the test is new. Everything is something i was expected to learn. So every question I don't know represents something I failed to do. And realistically, how often do you get a 100% on a test?

Every question I get wrong is an expectation from the instructor that I didn't fulfill. So tests just make me feel like I'm not good enough. That's why I don't like tests

I haven't posted in a month

Apparently I haven't been inspired

but that's ok...maybe things are looking up

supermarkets

Farmer Jack's used to be the only supermarket chain operating in Detroit. When Farmer Jack's went out of business, they sold their supermarkets to Kroger. Kroger decided to buy all of the stores except for the ones in the city of Detroit. This left Detroit without any supermarkets.

So Detroit has no supermarkets. Why? It seems like at least one supermarket could make it in a city of 800,000 people. So why didn't Kroger pick up any of those stores? Well to start remember that grocery store operate on the slimmest profit margins in retail. So you have to sell a lot of stuff consistently and not have any extra operating costs. So what did Kroger say?

1. Theft: Theft rates are significantly higher in Detroit than anywhere else. That's a big cost and security gaurds are expensive.

2. High slip and fall liability: Detroit residents are more likely to sue than others. This is obviously a big cost.

3. Food Stamp cycles: food stamps aren't really stamps, and when those little cards get refilled by the government on the 1st of the month everybody goes out to buy groceries. This cycle makes it harder to do business.

This kind of thing fascinates me. So what can we learn from this.

1. Crime breeds poverty. Lots of people think the reverse is true, and they are certainly mutually reinforcing. Rudy Guliani's one great insight was that if you stop crime, you reduce poverty.

2. Lawsuits are dumb. This is the same kind of "They owe me something" mentality that leads unions to destroy this state. They also hurt the entire society.

3. Relying on the government to fix poverty doesn't work. (ok that's a stretch...but it doesn't)

On Unions

This state's economy is a joke. There aren't any jobs.

Why?

Last week GM employees went on strike. they all got up and walked off the job. GM can't make a profit because it already pays 30 dollars an hour more an hour for labor than Toyota.

This week Chrysler employees are going to do the same.

There aren't any teaching jobs, not because teachers aren't needed, but because schools can't afford to hire new people. They can't just hire new people at a lower salary because the union would strike.

The state employees union started a lawsuit against the state when it shut down for four hours because lawmakers couldn't agree on a budget.

It's a joke. Every day when I'm driving to school I listen to the news, and every day on the local news there's some story about how unions are ruining the state economy.

If I were in charge of GM I'd fire all union employees and start over. And I'd move most of my production to Mexico. Sure it might cost a lot at first, but it would save the company in the long run

Is that Christian?

Colorado Christian University recently fired one of their professors. He openly questioned one of the schools core tenets. He denied a key aspect of its theology. And so he got fired.

The interesting part is what got him fired:

He said that capitalism isn't an essential part of christianity. He didn't say we need communism, or lets all go out and join a collective. He just said that capitalim isn't a "Christian" idea...as in it doesn't come from the Bible.

Hmm...what does that even mean

I walked into the living room, and Adrienne was watching TV.

"Why did you go to India to study meditation?"

"I wanted to develop a lifelong relationship with the voice I met on the bathroom floor."

It is finished...and I didn't cheat

The test is over.

It was a tough test. There were actually a couple questions where I narrowed it down to two, but didn't have an inclination either way and had to just guess between the two answers. That doesn't happen very often. I think I did ok though.

All of my life I have had teachers impress upon me that cheating is wrong. As I grew older more and more teachers emphasized the issue of trust. It is unprofessional to treat someone as a cheater, unless they have shown that they are. As a teacher I learned that the more you tell someone by your actions that they are cheating, the more likely they will be to cheat.

In short, I'm used to teachers trusting me to not cheat, and I'm used to rewarding that trust by not cheating. So the testing in medical school is strange to me. It's a little dehumanizing. They take everypossible step to ensure there is no cheating. They assign seats, and change your assigned seat every time. They go with you to the bathroom. They herd you around like cattle to ensure that there is not even momentary mixing of the two groups of students. There are five or six people watching you all the time. The people from testing services are rude and sour (as I guess anyone who devoted there life to keeping students from cheating would be).

It is insulting. And it is strange to be receiving this treatment in medical school. From there behavior you would think they're training us to be criminals rather than professionals.

Happy Birthday

To the pretty lady in pink

On being the slowest kid in school

Next week we start a new class: Clinical Medicine. For this class we are divided up into small groups and we work with a primary care physician over the next year. An interesting twist to this is that the groups are not assigned by the school.

Friday we got an email announcing that we could select our group starting Monday at 12:30 and that if we hadn't selected a group by Wednesday we would be automatically assigned to one. Attatched was a list of options including the name of the physician and the time of the class.

I didn't recognize any of the names on the list except for Dr. Roe, who went to school with my father. I figured I would choose him since he and my dad got along well together and I thought I would like him as well. I figured most people would just let the computer select their physician for them, since none of us had any way of knowing who these people were. They were after all just names on a page.

So 12:30 Monday found me eating lunch in the lounge. I was a little confused because none of my friends were there and the lounge was pretty empty. About 12:40 they came in and asked me if I had chosen my group yet, since I had forgotten about it I got on the computer and signed on to the page. Out of the original 25 physicians on the list, only 5 were available to choose from 10 minutes into the selection process. I didn't get to be in the group I wanted, which I was a little disappointed about, but I don't really know anything about any of them. I just hope I didn't get an obstetrician.

I was amused by the whole episode. I can't figure it out. Why the rush? How were all these people making this choice? Did they pick based on the time? Or did the randomly pick? I know that once Dr. Roe was gone my choice was pretty random.

It is a little depressing. It just hits home how much I don't really fit in in medical school. It's a Type A world out there.

football

not sure if I should say anything about football this week or not. Maybe I'll just repost this previous comment.

CAITLIN ALANE said...
I love that Michigan isn't doing well...

sorry.

money

For the first time since 1975 the Loony is worth as much as the Greenback. So much for cheap shopping.

Produce

Here's what I don't get.

I'm in Michigan, in the heart of one of the most fertile areas in the world. And it's the middle of the harvest season.

I just moved from Arizona, one of the least fertile areas on earth. There isn't a harvest season

So why does produce cost more here? It's not just the store either. Across the board, fruits and vegetables cost more here.

study harder

Today we disarticulated the atlantooccipital joint and bisected the head. In other words, we pulled the skull off the vertebral column and cut it in half. It was a little weird, because we used a hand saw and just cut down the middle of the face. It was cool though to see the middle of the head.

In other news school is going well. Nobody has brought an AK-47 to school yet, so that's good. Also we have another test next week so the next round of feeling rotten about not studying enough has begun.

Crazy

This man:

http://www.zorkot.org/Houssein2.html

a third year medical student at WSU was arrested Saturday running through a public park in camoflouge with a loaded AK-47. That's right...he was carrying a loaded Russian assault rifle openly on the streets of the United States in the name of Islam.

It's a crazy world.

More things I learned on NPR

According to a recent study, friendships formed on MySpace and Facebook are not as close as friendships formed face to face. I never would have guessed.

Palestinian Rocket Attacks

Palestinians have been firing rockets at Israel for 20 years or so. Yesterday they managed to injure 12 people with one...their highest casualty total yet. The interesting thing is that a terrorist group claimed responsibility for it. If I was firing rockets every day at a nation of 6 million plus people less than a stones throw away, I'd have standards a little higher than 12 injured. I mean if you're going to take the time and trouble to launder and squander European aid money on rockets the least you could do is actually kill some Jews and make Allah happy. I mean come on.

It also makes you wonder though why Israel bothers responding seriously. I think a little laughter would go a long way to shaming these people.

Also, Hillary Clinton's top campaign fundraisers are known as the Hellraisers. One of them was recently arrested so she had to give the money he raised back.

Also Oprah endorsed Barack Obama for president and managed to raise 3 million dollars for him at one event. Hmmm I wonder why she did that. It might be for the same reason she said last week that it was ok for Michael Vick to torture and brutally kill dogs.

The things you learn on NPR. You can't make this stuff up.

Ping Pong

There's a ping pong table in the student lounge at school. We go down there pretty much every day at lunch and take turns playing while we eat. It's pretty much the only place where first anf second year students actually mix at all. It's a lot of fun. The second year students think they're really good at ping pong. And in general they are. But anytime they're losing they talk about how badly they're playing and how suprised they are to be losing to a first year. Usually we play doubles which means I'm not any good. My strength is consistency--hitting every shot back. So if I'm playing with a partner I'm only half as consistent. Today we played singles, there weren't many people there. Anyway I played this guy that puts a lot of spin on the ball and is always slamming it on the table and stuff. ANyway I absolutely pasted him two games in a row, 21-9/21-11. He kept staring at his paddle like there was something wrong with it (he brings his own special paddle to school, I always play with the broken one that only has half a handle). It was hilarious. I probably shouldn't gloat though, I'll probably lose again tomorrow.

Then I went and studied--don't worry, I do study, just not every second of the day. Games are good for the soul--especially when you win. (but I'm not competitive or anything)

A picture

Just because I can put anything I want in my blog

Television

So I watched a little TV yesterday. I don't generally watch much, but Adrienne was working so I turned on the football game while I studied. I didn't watch much more than a quarter though because Michigan stinks. I've never seen a game as bad as that. Oregon completely creamed them in every way. It was like watching Arizona play.

I think commercials are better now than they were ten years ago. I think advertisers may have finally figured out that you have to give people a reason to keep watching through a commercial break. There were some really funny commercials. I think they pull out all the stops for football season. Hey look at that, I just used a figure of speech from church to describe something that causes people to skip church.

One more thing about commercials. Apparently they're turning Geico's cavemen into an actual television show. Talk about clever advertising.

Dates

I've got to get a post in today. It's 9/8/7, how could you not post today.

for good measure...check out the time of the post

brains

Yesterday we cut out the brain. It was cool. We were the stars again. We got it out in one piece and managed to cut all twelve of the cranial nerves and leave pieces of each of them sticking out of both the brain and the skull.

So the test went well. I honored both histology and anatomy practical. I was one question short on the written anatomy. If you add them all together I got over 95%.

adios

We're going to the cottage. So have a great weekend

A response

CAITLIN ALANE said...
David- i saw someone talk about that book on tv and i was intrigued too. i wanted your opinion on the following. i could never imagine what it would be like to see the horrific suffering of the poor and serve them day in and day out like she did. that environment alone would cause me to question the goodness of God, like all of us are inclined to do. but i couldn't help but wonder...what if mother teressa did not really know the personal love of Christ in her life? (i know this might sound crazy). sure she obediently lived out God's call, but what if she never grasped the fullness of the Gospel? do you think that could be an explanation for her doubts?

Apparently my readership has risen by one to climb to an all time high.

I think this merits a full response. I'll go backwards.

1. I'm not sure that we need an explanation for doubt. It seems to be a normal, though perhaps not universal, part of the human experience. I think it is probably a function of our brokenness. Just a few examples: many Psalms, Peter, Martin Luther, Phillip Yancey. Even Jesus felt far from God, "My God My God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?" And these are just people who have been willing to acknowledge their doubt. I feel far from God much of the time. Sometimes it seems like I'm a drowning man, I sink down into sin and doubt and i struggle and struggle and just as I am about to expire God grabs me and pulls me to the surface, then I swim and sink and begin the process again.

2. I am not in charge of writing names in the book of life, and I am not privy to its contents. So i don't know what kind of relationship with God she had. One thing that does seem to be clear in the Bible is that the followers of Christ will be known by what they do. The only test we have at our disposal is the fruit that she produced. And judging by that I'd say, "If not her...who?"

3. Mother Teresa's writings are intriguing to me precisely because she continued to act out her faith in such an uncomprimising manner. Her life is fascinating to me. She saw human existence at its worst and followed God into it.

On rudeness

I've had some people do some pretty rude things to me. But this has to rank up there. I stopped at the grocery store and I was in the twelve items or less aisle. The lady in front of me just had two things. She was standing in front of her cart, and she put them up, paid for them, then walked out...and she left the cart there in the middle of the aisle, blocking the way. She even looked back as though trying to decide whether to bother or not.

The thing that shocked me the most though was her normal appearance. Normally when someone is rude to you, they are young, or rebellious, or whatever...you know what I mean. Or they are in a protected place like on the telephone or in their car. But she was just a normal looking woman. It was amazing.

Maybe she's as spacey as me and when she looked back the shopping cart didn't even enter her field of vision.

It is finished

I am done. I don't know why, but for some reason, they put all of the tests on the same day. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Unless it is an attempt to reward those who have spent time to actually reward those who learned it all along, and punish tose who try to cram it all in at the last minute.

Anyway, I' pretty confident I passed. Beyond that I have no idea. You have to score more than one standard deviation from the mean to honor. And more than one below it to fail. So I may or may not honor these tests.

I felt fairly confident in the morning and grew increasingly less confident as the day wore on. By the end of the third (three hour) test I was pretty worn out.

Tests

My first test is tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'm ready for it or not. I studied a little today. Matt came down from Detroit to study with me. We got a little bit done. We'll see how prepared I am tomorrow. If I fail I'll have only myself to blame.

That said, I think that I'm going to do alright. Over the last few weeks I've really felt like I shouldn't devote all of my time to study. So I have made a conscious effort to do other things. To spend time with friens and family, and with my wife.

Tonight Luke and Ben are over for dinner. Adrienne asked them to come help us out so that we can get our new dishwasher installed tomorrow. The home warrenty people finally came through. But it turns out the new dishwasher is two inches too tall. So Ben and Luke helped us prop up the countertop and they're going to come back to finish it tomorrow after the new dishwasher is in.

Anyway. I have a test tomorrow and the chicken is done on the grill and it is time to eat. So I'm going to have a good time with friends and go to bed.

If I regret this next week remind me that I wrote this

Happy Anneversary

It's only a week late. And I didn't call. I'm an awful son I know, but here it is now.

29 years, wow!!!

On doubt and sainthood

I was driving yesterday listening to NPR and heard a story about a new book that came out recently. It is a collection of the correspondence of Mother Teresa with her confessors. They read a passage and I was intrigued. The letters often dealt with her recurring doubts about God's existence, presence, love etc. She struggled all of her life.

I would really like to read the book. She had tremendous faith, and she put it into action. She responded to the call of Christ to care for the sick and went far beyond what most of us would even think of. And she struggled to find God. It seems to me that often we ignore pain and frustration in our relationship with God. We want to always follow and believe with the faith of a child. But life isn't like that. Faith is difficult, it is trying, and I would love to read the thoughts and prayers of Mother Teresa as she moved through this.


Incedently, Christopher Hitchens, famous for his recent book on the nonexistence of God, is making a big deal about this and trumpeting it as new proof that God doesn't exist. If a woman so closely identified with Christian faith didn't believe, who does? I don't think he gets it.

On theft

The last couple of times I've gotten gas, I've stopped at this place on the way to school in Detroit. It's a pretty ramshackle place. Most things seem to be falling apart. But the pumps work.

Inside everything that can be concealed easily is behind the counter , which is protected by several thick layers of whatever. You have to slide your card to the guy under the glass.

It's kind of a little grocery store. You know, the essentials, toilet paper, toothpaste, bread, etc. I've heard that the city of Detroit only has one grocery store within the city limits. That may not be true, but I do know I've never seen one.

Anyway, back to the story. Everything is behind glass. But you don't have to prepay for gas. I'm not sure if the people of Detroit just haven't figured out yet that you can steal gas by pumping it and driving off, or if the theives generally don't drive or what. It's strange though. You have to prepay for gas in the nicest gas stations in Tucson.

At least I thought it was strange the first couple times, then this last time I noticed that everyone else does have to prepay. Everybody else has to take their money inside, I just stand there for a second and the guy turns on the pump then I go in and pay when I'm done.

I'm not completely sure, but I think this might be a sad testament to the state of the city and its racial fault lines.

Driving

I normally take I-96 home to Ann Arbor. It's about five miles shorter than I-94 and it has lighter traffic and the speed limit is higher. I don't really understand why people take I-94. But I have to ride on I-94 for about two miles to get to the 96. There are only two exits, but the traffic is usually pretty heavy.

So yesterday I was driving home. The traffic was really bad because for some reason I decided to leave during rush hour. And I was tired and a little out of it. I was listening to Marketplace (which incedently is my favorite show on NPR other than the funny ones on the weekend.

So I got off the highway and realized I had taken the wrong exit onto another highway. So I had to get off that and get back on and then get back to I-94. Then I did it again. I got off at the next exit which still wasn't the right exit. And i had to drive around to get back on the freeway. I couldn't believe that I did it twice in a row. There are only two exits that I have to pass and I got off on both of them.

So I got back on I-94, then I missed my exit. I ended up having to drive all the way back on I-94. It took me more than an hour to get home.

Moral of the story...pay attention when you drive

Studying

I'm having trouble motivating myself to study. I always seem to have this problem. I can only go over the same information so many times before I get bored. So I've reaced this point where I don't really know if I'm prepared or not, but I don't really want to study anymore.

Vote now

What do you think, should I go back to the old template?

On hands

It was interesting today. We started dissecting the hand. Up until today the hands were in a special plastic wrapping. It was strange. I can't really describe it, but somehow when we unwrapped the hands and started dissecting, the body suddenlt seemed more...human, if that makes sense. It had more personality, it was more real.

You have to understand that the face and head are still in a special wrapping. We don't get to that section until unit two. Up until now we've only seen the torso and arm.

Anyway, it was interesting to grasp in a not so intellectual sense, the significance of the hand. Our hands are one of only a few body parts that really set us apart from animals. Our upright posture is dictated by our hands.

I don't know, like I said, it's not something I can describe, but it gives me a little more appreciation for Paul Brand and his quest to save the hands of people with leperosy.

On Umbrellas

I don't like rain. It's been raining for two days now, and I'm sick of it. Where is the sun?

I saw something I've never seen before. I saw an umbrella bent backwards in the wind. I always thought that was a bit of movie exaggeration. But today I saw it happen. This lady was walking down the street with her umbrella and pop, it inverted in the wind and she was left holding a useless umbrella.

On overactive glands

It rained all day today. In fact it is still raining. This is the first day like this we've had in Michigan. We were supposed to go to a picnic on Belle Isle held by a group dedicated to supporting the families of medical students. It got cancelled though, or rather postponed until furthur notice.

So instead we went to game night. I think I wrote about us going a few weeks ago. It's at the house of Luke's boss's house every Sunday night. Since it was raining we played dodgeball in the barn. It was great.

But I think that the physiology of my body adjusted to the air in Arizona. Whenever I play sports or work out here I get ridiculously sweaty...way more than the people around me. Today for example everything I had on was soaking wet and my hair was wet and everything. It was humid from the rain and I obviously ran a lot and played hard, but still...

Anyway we had a great night.

On Rocks and Dirt

So, we just moved into our condo. our little miniature backyard is pretty standard. There were a few overgrown bushes and it was edged with that black plastic stuff that keeps weeds from growing and makes it easier to edge. Anyway, my aunt, Ginger, was here and Adrienne asked her what she should do with the garden.

So Aunt Ginger reccommended taking out the black plastic lining and edging, and also removing the gravel that covered the plastic. She had a great plan which involved Adrienne Putting the gravel into plastic buckets and driving over to her house where the gravel could be emptied into the driveway behind the boathouse and then filled with dirt from a pile there. So Adrienne jumped into the project with gusto. She Spent her two days off last week taking the black lining out and trimming the bushes. Then she began the process of switching gravel for dirt.

She managed to fill four buckets before tiring. The buckets sat full of gravel in the yard for a week. Then on Saturday she decided to take them over and dump them. I was studying. A little while later she came down and asked for my help. She wasn't sure what to do with the dirt and her back hurt from carrying the buckets of rocks.

So I came upstairs and found to my suprise......... four buckets of wood chips.


The moral of the story:

1. Garden in small managable bits, unless you happen to be a professional gardener.
2. My wife needs a bit more guidance in gardening than most.

On old movies

There's something different about old movies. They seem to move at a snails pace sometimes. In life today it seems hard to appreciate those extra spaces.

We watched Rebecca, the Best Picture of 1940 according to that little golden man. It's an Alfred Hitchcock film. I really enjoyed it. It's been a while since I've watched an old movie. It's been a while since I watched any movie at all actually. But Adrienne isn't really one for old movies. She almost turned this one off because it was in black and white. There were a number of things I enjoyed:

1. Dialogue--how often do you see a movie that actually contains any. There are a few, mostly cult hits, that have a fair amount, but not intelligent.

2. Language--they actually used big words. Movies don't use language your average high school dropout can't understand. They used to though.

3. Suspense: Hitchcock was a master at building suspense. "He didn't use any blood or, at least in the films I've seen, sudden action to induce fear. He built suspense slowly, with carefully doled out information, hints, and a little music. And the great thing is, that from the first scene in the movie you know what's going to happen. Unbelievable.

4. Unexpectedness: The plot twists are so unexpected as to be nearly impossible to predict. He is able to build the movie up so much in one direction that when an alternate explanation of events becomes apparent it floors you.

ANyway, we had a good night. We walked down to Dominos and got a Pizza and then watch a good movie on TV. It was great. And now it's Sunday so I don't have to study for a whole day.

On oil

I hate getting my oil changed (or rather, my car's oil). Here's an expert taking care of something which is very important to me, but which I know nothing about. And everyhing costs a lot of money. I don't know what a dirty air filter looks like. How do you know when to change it. The guy comes up to my window and says, "your air filter is a little dirty, do you want to change it?" and he holds it up next to a clean one for me to inspect. On what basis do I make that decision. Or when the other guy comes up and says, "your engine needs to be flushed every 15,000 miles and it's looking pretty dirty. It's only 49 dollars to flush it." Then what do I say. If I follow all of their reccomendations I walk out paying 300 dollars for an oil change. Dealing with a new car is even worse. My old car, which I got new, was always up to date on everything. I kept track of it all and when the guy came up and said your moojoo fluid needs to be changed every 31725 miles I could respond, no I just had it done last time.

It's like the dentist. For the last 8 years or so, every time I've gone in to the dentist, they've told me to get my wisdom teeth pulled. But that's what they tell everyone. It's a standard procedure now. Btu do you really need to pony up the cash for it? I may end up sorry that I didn't get it done. Just like I might end up sorry that I didn't have them change the transmission fluid today.

When an expert is trying to sell you something, how do you know that you need it? Especially when they reccommend the same thing to every person they encounter. I watched the guy at the oil change place. He reccommended the same thing to every customer. He didn't even bother looking at the engine before telling them. But we all trust that guy. He's taking care of our car. All four people who followed me bought into what he said.

I hate getting my oil changed.

On dogs and doors

I've never done this on purpose, just so you know.


So whenever I come home it's a good idea to let the dog out to go to the bathroom and such nonesense. Usually the sliding glass door is closed but the screen door is open, so I just slide the glass open and he walks out. He's gotten used to it to the point where he doesn't really check, he just sees that I've opened it and walks through.

Every once in a while however the screen is closed. This results in the dog running directly into the screen, then turning around with a very perplexed look on his face.

Hilarious

Gas

The car I drive to school can make it about 4 trips back and forth to school before it needs a fill up. But it's pretty close. 4 trips is about 320 miles and the range on the car is about 340 or thereabouts. So if I drive it at all other than to school it endsup being a pretty close run. But me being me, i always think, no I can push it and make it.

Invariably when I try to push it this is what happens: the gas light comes on with 15-20 miles to go to my destination. Now I know that cars now generally give you a good 30-40 mile warning, but that doesn't reduce my stress level. As soon as that gas light comes on I'm a nervous wreck. I can't concentrate on anything other than on "Is my car still running?" This happened this morning, so my normally relaxing, stress free drive was disrupted and instead of getting to school in a relaxed state I'm a little discombobulated.

On top of that I'm mad. The old Corolla I had consistently got 38-40 mpg. This one gets 30-31. That means this car costs me about $500 more per year than the other one.

On Universities

This is amazing:

Students: You were initially assessed at the 2006-07 tuition/fee rates if you registered prior to July 31, 2007. The 15.8% tuition increase and additional fees were assessed after that date. This was AFTER financial aid disbursements and refund checks were generated. You must pay the additional tuition/fee charges from your own resources unless you are a financial aid recipient and plan to request a student loan increase. Other fee adjustments includen the addition of a new $1,059 fee - the Budget Contingency Fee.

This is from an email I got. It is amazing to me that a school can even consider raising rates after most people heve already paid. It's like going to the grocery store, paying, and then as you're walking through the parking lot having the cashier run after you..."Excuse me sir we just raised the cost of your groceries."

Universities in this country are a racket. They spend all sorts of money in crazy ways that heve nothing to do with education at the whim of those in charge, then they stick it to the students. And most of the students don't pay attention to the real cost because they're paying for it all with loans anyway, and the the loan agencies love it because they charge huge rates and make most of their money back before the student even graduates, because the federal government subsidizes the loans.

The Sabbath

I have decided. I will not study on Sundays. I am going to take one day every week and not devote it to school. Even if I have a test on Monday (I don't think they do that) . One of the things I am seeking in life right now is balance. Medical School is important to me, but I don't want it to be the only thing in my life. So here's to God, and to my wife and to my sanity and to all those other things that depend on me not devoting every minute to one thing.

The Voice

Sitting in church this morning I realized..."I miss The Voice." The Voice is raw. The Voice is unpolished. The Voice is passionate...even through a microphone. The Voice never even hints at performance...it is pure, an offering given up in brokenness. The Voice invites participation, it defies definition. It is beautiful, it is rare, it is an incredible gift to those blessed by it. It is the most inviting voice I have ever heard in church, and I miss it.

Happy Birthday

The big one three. I hope you have a wonderful day today.

Lab today

One thing I like about lab is that the instructors really encourage us to explore and not go strictly by the book. My table has become the table everybody comes to to see what they should do next. And the great thing is that it's not just because I'm there. I mean that's part of the reason, but whenever the lab instructors come over to tell us what a great job we're doing (they actually say that--the most common adjective applied by them to our dissection is beautiful) and start asking us questions everyone at the table answers. I think the biggest reason for that is that as we dissect we quiz each other. It's like a little competition.

Today we had a mini exposition. Most of the people in the lab came to see our dissection over the course of the lab with the statement, "I heard you had a beautiful..."

We opened the back today. We skinned it, then reflected the trapezius and latissimus dorsi to get a better view of the underlying muscles. Then we cut the rhomboids and the deltoids (It cracks me up that so many body parts are named by their shape).

Our group managed to find all of the arteries and nerves that we were supposed to find (the instructors have to explain to most groups what their looking at, so they're always a little suprised that we have already found it all.)

Then we cut back to see the deep back muscles around the spine. It was fun, I am really enjoying Gross Anatomy

Today

Three days in and still going strong.

On the first day in anatomy lab as we were finishing up this other guy and I started talking about what we had seen and doing a quick oral review. We were done a bit early and so had some time to kill. We started drawing the structures up on the blackboard (every wall is covered in blackboards for our use). I wasn't really paying attention, but when we had finished I looked up and there was a crowd of about 20 other people standing around in a circle watching us. Then they started asking questions...

Medical school is a lot of type A people all trying to out-type-A each other. Everyone is hyper-organized, and very busy looking. The instructrs pass out class notes that they follow pretty closely. There's not a whole lot they say that isn't in the notes. But every time I look around most of the class is hunched over their desks furiously taking notes...I often wonder what it is they are writing...then I start to think, maybe I'm falling behind. And maybe I am...I hope I don't flunk out.

on cadavers

I had an inteeresting experiencethis week. Monday was the first day of Gross Anatomy lab, which means it was the first day of dissection. I wasn't sure what to expect going into it. I've never even seen a dead body that I can remember. So to not only see it, but feel it and probe it and cut into it was a disconcerting feeling.

But when it came time to do it, it wasn't that weird. I just opened up the plastic bag and started exploring and learning. It did take some getting used to. But by Wednes day I was doing well. It really is a lot more helpful than books and illustrations. You can really see why medicine didn't begin to progress until vesalius began digging up human bodies and trying to figure out what was going on inside.

It sure doesn't look like the pictures in my book though.

On lectures

I have always had trouble staying awake in lectures. I have to move around a little and take notes to stay awake unless the lecturer is particularly interesting.

We're on break for our first lecture now. The subject is histology, the topic today is cells and organelles. I first learned this from Mr Campbell about 12 years ago and have had few biology classes without it since. It actually suprises me that they spend time on it here, because I have had fewer science classes than most.

Example: [picture showing several cells dyed pink with the nucleii dyed blue] "This is a nucleus, this too is a nucleus, oh and do you see this here--this is a nucleus, can anyone tell me what this is..[low indistinguishable murmur] yes that's right it's a nucleus.

To make matters worse the lecturer is this woman with a high pitched nasal voice. It reminds me of a Saturday night live skit for some reason. Good thing she's only lecturing today.

That said--I'm enjoying medical school so far.

On organizations

I'm currently sitting in the Green Lecture hall listening to a long series of presentations by a variety of student organizations. The nice thing about this particular lecture hall is that the actual presentations are going on next door in the Jaffar lecture hall, and are being played on the screen in here. So I can sit and type while they present without being rude. It's spectacular.


Highlights

Amigos: an organization that volunteers at clinics to translate(Spanish) in Mexican town (no not Tucson, an area in Detroit) and also takes trips to South Carolina and Mexico to volutnteer at clinics. South Carolina has a law that allows retired doctors to practice as long as they don't get paid and their patients don't have access to other health care. Also holds classes in Medical Spanish at lunch.

Medical Students for Choice: I have often wondered how sick you have to be to make it all the way through medical school and still be able to perform abortions.

World Health Student Organization: sounds cool but I wasn't listening very well because I was writing about Amigos. You can learn about lots of diseases and they have trips around the world.

Asian health association (or something like that): Dedicated to promoting the health of asians.

Black health association: See above

White health association (oops that one doesn't exist)

Covenant House: volunteer at a homless shelter for young adults--mentor, tutor, play games

Co-curricular: a program that allows you to get one month off your senior year if you spent time volunteering your first two years. This would allow you to have a month to do another international rotation, or just not have to do anything for a month.

On a day

I'm sorry if I sounded bitter. I just hate having time stolen from me. It is a valuable commodity, and though I often waste it, I do value it and resent its theft.

Diversity training is, apparently, a rite of passage at the modern university. A lot of the people at the school went to Michigan so they're used to it. From what I hear, at the U of M you have to sit through entire classes devoted to this subject.

Michigan's state Universities are doing their best to skirt, bend and break the law that was recently passed by an overwhelming number of Michigan voters. In fact the executive vice dean (an old white male) said as much, and then gave us the little wink wink and said, "but none of is in jail yet, so that's good."

I'm sick of the meaningless platitudes. It devalues language. The diversity indusrty has taken a whole group of words and rendered them meaningless. When you sit in one of these seminars, none of it makes any sense unless you let your eyes glaze over a little and try to ignore the actual words. That's how you can tell all this goobledegook was invented by stoned teenagers in the 60's who couldn't be bothered to go to class and actually learn English. Now they impose their lack of sense on us.

Don't worry though, I don't have anything against any gender(though if I were female I think it might be ok to hate males), ethnicity, nationality (except Carthaginians, and sometimes Americans--thats ok isn't it), political party(except communists--oops, they're back in style now), religion (except sun worshipers and goat blood drinkers--are they a protected minority group?) (remember, its sheik to flout Islam{ha ha sometimes I crack myself up}), sexual orientation(just make something new up, it happens all the time), age (unless of course their under 9 months, then we can advocate death), or race (except the race for the cure--with one of the highest success rates I think its time to focus on curing a disease that can potentially affect more than fifty percent of the population)

curiously one of the things you aren't supposed to discriminate against was labeled "Other"

Everybody talked about how prejudice and discrimination shape our society and shared stories about how they've been discriminated against....well all the minorities got to talk about that--they didn't really ask me to speak.

Luckily there was a small coterie of relatively intelligent individuals who recognized this series of activities for what it was. We had a good laugh about it. This upset the facillitator but she wasn't from the University so its ok, she also wasn't quite with it enough to recognize sarcasm(Why is it that people who make their livings talking about diversity never seem to get sarcasm).

On Diversity

How has prejudice affected your life?
>insert sob story here<

Would you rather be a single black female with three children or a sixty year old white aerospace engineer?
(oh yeah the she's a nulear physisist whose husband died in Iraq and he's a child molester)

>really deep and significant conversation about how people aren't what they seem here<

Diversity is good in and of itself.

>light applause and vigorous nodding<

As a arab muslim woman I am persecuted

>more head nodding, sympathetic looks, and grunts of agreement<

Blah Blah Blah

On the beginning

I'm here, waiting for orientation to begin on the second day. Orientation is a slow tortuous process, that seems to be full of waiting for things to start, and waiting for things to end. Today is the feelings day. You know the one that is now mandatory in any university orientation. We get to talk about how everyone is different ad how everyone is the same, and how everybody matters, except of course for anyone who actually thinks something.

more later, We're about to start.

On being out of shape

I pulled my quadricep...I think. I kicked the soccer ball and my leg complained loudly. Then I could hardly run for the rest of the game. Today it's killing me.

It was fun though. Playing with a nonfunctioning leg really forces you to use your head more and get into position. I did however miss a few plays because I couldn't get the force I needed to into the ball.

Moral of the story: Stretch before you play sports.

On whirly ball

I played whirlyball last night. "What is whirlyball?" you ask. Good question. Basically it's a game where ou ride around on bumper cars and run into each other and try to get a little whiffle ball through a net. It's pretty fun, though it is hard on your body. It's basically one long nonstop whiplash session, with your body being thrown back and forth as yourun into people and they run into you. The worst is where the seatbelt runs across you hips. I've got these big red marks on my hips from the seatbelt.

That is of course preferable to not wearing the satbelt. During the first game I forgot to put my seatbelt on and almost went flying out of the car.

on 100

This is a completely useless post, but it is number one hundred...so there.

On atheism

About 3 years ago my grandfather joined with three other well-educated elderly men to discuss theology and religion in a weekly group. The stated goal was to examine theology and the central ideas of Christianity (and eventually other religions) and to attempt to find some rational basis for them.

As you all probably know, I myself am a little wary of rational proofs of the existence of God. Their pursuit has led many down the wide road that leads away from faith. In fact, the pursuit of rational foundations led me away from Christianity for a number of years.

The last time I came to Michigan was about two years ago. It was around this time that my grandfather was most involved and invested in the work of this group. I remember at that time that they had reached the conclusion that they needed to scrap everything and begin to build up sa new theology from the ground up by drawing in lots of different religions. They were very much into the Jesus Seminar and took every chance to question, and deny theological truths. I remember that on that particular visit my father was quite upset.

The group continued in this manner, and it eventually became clear that the other three members of the group were drifting (or conciously moving) towards atheism. They continued to ridicule and tear down religious ideas. About a year ago my grandfather began to separate himself from the ideas of he group and to attempt to build rather than destroy.

Due to his close friendship with the gentlemen in question he continued to attend the meetings, but became more and more forceful in his arguments for God. Today he went to his last meeting and told the other members that he would not be returning. Good for him. Now he is faced with the job of rebuilding a faith he has spent years tearing apart.

I know this place well. I have spent the last two years attempting to piece together a faith that I argued against for a long time. I ridiculed, derided, and generally laughed at Christian faith. That makes it more difficult now than it was before to maintain that faith.

There is a promise though, "those who seek will find, those who ask will receive and to those who knock the door will be opened." This has meant a lot to me over the last few years.

I'm bored

We moved in, now I sit around all day twiddling my thumbs. I'm ready and anxious for school to start. Really I'm waiting for the weekend, because then all sorts of stuff will start to happen. I'll play soccer again, we'll go to church again etc. Then on Monday I start. but until then.....

The past couple of days have been difficult though. Floating. We don't have any routines or places yet. So I end up sitting around the house reading or watching TV. Drifting, without purpose, without meaning. I also tend to eat too much when I'm bored. It didn't help that it rained all day yesterday. I couldn't even go out for a bike ride or anything.

I did finish Harry Potter though. I thought it was an excellent finish. A good resolution to a great story.

Anyway, hopefully today I'll be able to find some purpose in life. And it's not raining...yet

1 Thessalonians 4:11

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you may not be dependant on anybody.

On tires

I got out my bike the othern day

I used it to sort of explore the neighborhood. I rode it down all the paths around our house through the parks and everything to figure out the lay of the land in our general vicinity. It was a sort of a scouting mission for future bike rides and walks. I'm pretty confident now that I won't get lost on a walk in the future. And I pretty much always know the fastest way to get home.

Anyway...about halfway through my bike ride I noticed that my front brake wasn't working. I hadn't hooked it up on arrival...I took the front tires off our bikes to make the move and save space in the truck. But I didn't worry too much about it. It was a pretty leisurely ride. I didn't have any reason to need a front brake.

So yesterday I was going to take another ride. This time I rode down to a park that is a couple miles from the house where there is a little trail that kind of winds around the park for mountain biukes. I thought it would be fun.

So I decided to hook up the front brake before I left, but I couldn't get it to work. The two parts just didn't seem to want to meet up across the top of the tire...which is weird because it was hooked up and working fine up until I loaded it into the truck. So after fighting it for a good 15 minutes down on my knees in front of the bike, nose to the tire, I had had enough and I just went. I figured I could deal with it later.

So I got down to the park and had a good time. I have decided however that when talking about bicycle tires, hybrid really means neither. I got these tires a couple years ago that were supposed to be a cross between raod and mountain tires. I have found over the last couple years that they really don't work that well as road tires...and I found yesterday that they really don't work very well as mountain bike tires...my rear wheel kept slipping (which wasn't good since I didn't have any front brakes.)

As I was on my way back I noticed that the front wheel was making a sound I had never heard before. Thgen I noticed that it still had those little rubber things that new tires have but that generally wear off pretty quickly...then I noticed that it was an actual mountain bike tirem not one of the hybrid tires...then I realized that the reason my brakes weren't working was that I had put AAdrienne's front tire on my bike and hers on mine.