On Doubt

In the seldom referenced sequel to "Abraham believed and it was credited to him as righteousness" Abraham "fell facedown and laughed to himself, 'will a son really be born to me in my old age?" His doubt did not negate the promise of God.

David said, "My God my God whay have you forsaken me?/Why are you so far from saving me,/so far from the words of my groaning?/Oh my God I cry out by day and you do not answer." Then he goes on to affirm the faithfulness of God. And his doubt did not negate the promise of God.

Zechariah doubted, and was mute...and yet the promise of God was not negated--his son was born.

His son John said "Look the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world." Then later, to the same person said "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else." The reply to his doubt? Not condemnation, but encouragement. "Go back and report to John what you hear and see; the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor."

There are a lot of people who doubt, a lot of people in pain, a lot of people who don't always know what to think. Like me. God seems far away sometimes, or a lot of the time, or what sometimes seems like all the time. Theology doesn't always make sense--as nice as that would be...God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise. Faith is confusing--God is confusing--Life is confusing.

So does that mean that you can believe anything about God? That God is whatever I believe him to be? I don't think so.
God says, "If you seek me you will find me." God is, so all who seek God will find the same God.

I just seems to me that perhaps Doubt is something that is both impossible to escape, and not incompatible with a life of Faith.

100 Days

On economics

Imagine this scenario:

You are the President-elect, and you want to put together an economics advisory team. You want to have an elected official--preferably a governor on the team. So who do you pick...

You could pick someone who has had economic success in an executive position. One of the 30 or so governors in your party who have led their states at least marginally well over the last several years

Or you could pick someone who has guided her state into a one state recession that has lasted six years. You could pick the one person who has shown the distinct ability to overcome the natural advantages afforded by the strength of the American economy and lead her state down the winding path to economic insolvency. Who has stood resolutely astride the path of economic progress and prosperity yelling "Stop!" Who has shown the singular inability to turn economic success into failure over and over again.

Here's your sign

Things I learned at school today: Part 2

I have ADHD.

We have to take Psychiatry, which was really interesting when we were studying Schizophrenia and Mood Disorders, and even addiction. But some of it is just lame. Like Freud.

ADHD is one of the lame things. The definition is broad enough that pretty much everybody I know could be diagnosed. Well at least all the males I know.

Interesting things I learned in School this week.

We learned about drugs this week.

1. Only 25% of acutely intoxicated patients in the Emergency Room are correctly identified as such. So always ask patients if they've had anything to drink.

2. An LSD trip lasts 12 hours. And the quality of the trip is related to your mood. So if you're in a bad mood, don't do acid.

3. Magic Mushrooms bruise blue. So if you're starving in the forest, you know which mushrooms not to eat.

4. One marketed brand of Estrogen is called Premarin, which stands for Pregnant mare urine And that pretty much sums up what it is. It is currently the fourth most prescribed drug in the US.

On Push-ups

On Rolling over

My son

on politics and voting

I would have written this sooner, but I had four tests this week, and we had dinner engagements every single night, so I didn't have time. One thing is true, I didn't intend any judgement. I guess I'm really trying to ask a question rather than tell you you're wrong.

I recognize that voting is perhaps the most sacred part of the cult of the American faith. It is something that we have been taught to value highly. It is something that has been exalted so much it is one of the unquestionables. One of the basic tenets of the American religion is that voting is in and of itself a good thing. If you don't believe me ask yourself how many times you've heard (or said) "It doesn't matter who you vote for, but vote for someone."

So I don't mean to sacrifice the sacred cow, but I want to ask the questions I have that nobody else seems to be asking.

So don't feel judged because I don't have the faintest idea what I'm talking about.

But I do want to rephrase the question so here goes...

1a. If Christ didn't seize political power when he had the chance, then I shouldn't either.
1b. Christ didn't seize political power
So 1c. Neither should I

2a. I should not do anything that involves seizing political power.
2b. To vote is to seize political power
so 3c. I should not vote.

I recognize that there are probably some pretty glaring logical flaws in this argument. Here's my issue...I don't think there are many people who would really try to refute any of the premises, except perhaps 2b. To that objection I can only say that the political power pie may be divided up into really little pieces, but as small as they are, they're still slices of political power and when we vote we take our piece. But here's how the conversation always seems to go:

"...So, you shouldn't seize political power."
"Yes, you're right, but I think that if you can do good and influence the way the government works, (or spends money, or outlaws abortion, or ends war, or whatever)..."
Or alternatively..."yes you're right, but I think that if you pray about who you're going to vote for..."

That's fine if you think that, but personally I have a problem with both of those responses. I am very skeptical about the ability of the government to do good, and about the ability of voters to really influence the way the government works. Rule of the majority tends to be oppressive to the marginalized and beneficial to the elite. But that's a whole other issue.

As far as the second goes I would say that Christ prayed a lot, and he could have become the emperor of Rome and done a lot of good things, but he chose not to. He chose instead to minister to the marginalized of society and let the government do its thing without him.

So I recognize that pretty much everyone who reads this will have an instant reflex rejection. I do, but I'm not sure why. So my question is if it is right to vote...why is it right to vote? and how is this line of reasoning wrong?

I guess ultimately my problem with voting is this: The act of voting itself is an attempt to impose my will on other people. And I'm just not down with that. Trust me, I don't judge you for attempting to impose your will on me. I recognize it as the way of things that some people will rule others, and the government will steal from me every chance it gets. That's life, but I don't want to be one of the rulers.

Just a little piece of pie

It's time to vote. In this country we are bombarded by messages declaring that it is our civic duty to vote..."vote or die", in fact was a major message last time around. Take your little slice of political power. It's like dessert at a buffet. You just ate a big meal, you're not hungry. Now it's time for dessert. (I know, I know, the current political choices are like being offered dessert somebody pulled out of the garbage three weeks ago, left out to grow mold, then fed to a dog who vomited, collected off the floor, put on a plate, and poured battery acid on. but imagine they're apple pie and ice cream). You don't want a slice, but it's free--if you don't eat it you're not getting what you paid for. It is your right and duty to take your little slice of political power.

But be careful, because there's poison in the pie.

Our current political system is based on a lie...correction...all political systems are based on a lie. "There is a legitimate source of power in this world that is not God." Politics is a bandage on a gangrenous wound. It attempts to cover up and correct the inherent sinfulness of human beings and human society. But the foul seepage of septic sin, soaks through the bandage, and it has to be changed. That's why political systems never last forever. The foulness of humanity eventually soaks through even the best laid plans of men. The good news is that as Christians we have the cure...we don't have to participate in the cover-up--we just have to proclaim the truth.

One thing Jesus didn't do, was take political power. He probably could have gone the Caesar route. He was a smart guy and probably could have pulled a few of the power strings to get himself appointed. But he didn't. And the reason for that is that there is a sharp dichotomy between what the world values and recognizes as powerful, and what God values and recognizes and good. Jesus flipped the power structures of the world upside down. He said the poor are blessed, the weak, the meek, and those who seek. We are called to do likewise. So grab that slice of pie--but know that Christ turned it down.

Power naturally oppresses. That is clear in our society...even if it is not intended. The powerful in our society are the wealthy. Yeah the president is powerful, but behind the president are the oligarchs who paid for him to get there. (and this isn't just true of the current president, it is inherent in the system) And the rule of the dollar has left us with places like Detroit, where the broken and destitute abound, abandoned by the centers of power. When we participate in the lie. We allow it to go unspoken. We say "this system works, it is good.

So take that slice of pie...but pray first that you don't choke on the lie you're trying to swallow.

There's a plank in my eye

zip, per capita, median houshold
48105: 34,534, 73,103
85621: 10,691, 22,801
85711: 16,901, 30,909
48201: 11,641, 16,921
49269: 18,905, 48,472

Here he is with his mother

More pictures

Here's his Godfather imitation

Here he is

taxes

Two of my siblings have recently commented on politics on their blogs so I guess I can too.

I think it is hilarious that the Chairman of the House Ways and Means committee (yeah the one in charge of writing the tax code) was cheating on his taxes. I think it's even more funny that despite the fact that he has been on the committee since 1975, his excuse was "I didn't know I was supposed to report that..."

If a man who has spent the last 33 years writing the tax code can't figure it out...

mother and child

another picture

I recognize that I haven't been posting all that much...tough. I have school and a baby to attend to.

So small

Home

Finally

I know it was only four days...it seemed an eternity.

Happiness

Sunlight in his eyes. Fitting him in the carseat. Crossing the threshold with my son.

Here we are.

Mom's sleeping. Ben's on my lap. One hand typing.

Nothing has changed.

They redid the echo...wait and see again, trips to the cardiologist in my future. Nobody really knows what's going to happen with his heart. It could heal itself and only need occasional monitering. It could lnd him back in the hospital. We continue to trust God to do his will.

Everthing has changed.

Life will never be the same...home from the hospital. The place we have prepared for him is finally in use. I put him in the crib I made. He's so small. An actual living thing sleeping in my arms...right now. We continue to thank God for the wonderful gifts he has given, the provision he has made for us.