Sunday, August 12, 2007

The Voice

Sitting in church this morning I realized..."I miss The Voice." The Voice is raw. The Voice is unpolished. The Voice is passionate...even through a microphone. The Voice never even hints at performance...it is pure, an offering given up in brokenness. The Voice invites participation, it defies definition. It is beautiful, it is rare, it is an incredible gift to those blessed by it. It is the most inviting voice I have ever heard in church, and I miss it.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Happy Birthday




The big one three. I hope you have a wonderful day today.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Lab today

One thing I like about lab is that the instructors really encourage us to explore and not go strictly by the book. My table has become the table everybody comes to to see what they should do next. And the great thing is that it's not just because I'm there. I mean that's part of the reason, but whenever the lab instructors come over to tell us what a great job we're doing (they actually say that--the most common adjective applied by them to our dissection is beautiful) and start asking us questions everyone at the table answers. I think the biggest reason for that is that as we dissect we quiz each other. It's like a little competition.

Today we had a mini exposition. Most of the people in the lab came to see our dissection over the course of the lab with the statement, "I heard you had a beautiful..."

We opened the back today. We skinned it, then reflected the trapezius and latissimus dorsi to get a better view of the underlying muscles. Then we cut the rhomboids and the deltoids (It cracks me up that so many body parts are named by their shape).

Our group managed to find all of the arteries and nerves that we were supposed to find (the instructors have to explain to most groups what their looking at, so they're always a little suprised that we have already found it all.)

Then we cut back to see the deep back muscles around the spine. It was fun, I am really enjoying Gross Anatomy

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Today

Three days in and still going strong.

On the first day in anatomy lab as we were finishing up this other guy and I started talking about what we had seen and doing a quick oral review. We were done a bit early and so had some time to kill. We started drawing the structures up on the blackboard (every wall is covered in blackboards for our use). I wasn't really paying attention, but when we had finished I looked up and there was a crowd of about 20 other people standing around in a circle watching us. Then they started asking questions...

Medical school is a lot of type A people all trying to out-type-A each other. Everyone is hyper-organized, and very busy looking. The instructrs pass out class notes that they follow pretty closely. There's not a whole lot they say that isn't in the notes. But every time I look around most of the class is hunched over their desks furiously taking notes...I often wonder what it is they are writing...then I start to think, maybe I'm falling behind. And maybe I am...I hope I don't flunk out.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

on cadavers

I had an inteeresting experiencethis week. Monday was the first day of Gross Anatomy lab, which means it was the first day of dissection. I wasn't sure what to expect going into it. I've never even seen a dead body that I can remember. So to not only see it, but feel it and probe it and cut into it was a disconcerting feeling.

But when it came time to do it, it wasn't that weird. I just opened up the plastic bag and started exploring and learning. It did take some getting used to. But by Wednes day I was doing well. It really is a lot more helpful than books and illustrations. You can really see why medicine didn't begin to progress until vesalius began digging up human bodies and trying to figure out what was going on inside.

It sure doesn't look like the pictures in my book though.

Monday, August 06, 2007

On lectures

I have always had trouble staying awake in lectures. I have to move around a little and take notes to stay awake unless the lecturer is particularly interesting.

We're on break for our first lecture now. The subject is histology, the topic today is cells and organelles. I first learned this from Mr Campbell about 12 years ago and have had few biology classes without it since. It actually suprises me that they spend time on it here, because I have had fewer science classes than most.

Example: [picture showing several cells dyed pink with the nucleii dyed blue] "This is a nucleus, this too is a nucleus, oh and do you see this here--this is a nucleus, can anyone tell me what this is..[low indistinguishable murmur] yes that's right it's a nucleus.

To make matters worse the lecturer is this woman with a high pitched nasal voice. It reminds me of a Saturday night live skit for some reason. Good thing she's only lecturing today.

That said--I'm enjoying medical school so far.

Friday, August 03, 2007

On organizations

I'm currently sitting in the Green Lecture hall listening to a long series of presentations by a variety of student organizations. The nice thing about this particular lecture hall is that the actual presentations are going on next door in the Jaffar lecture hall, and are being played on the screen in here. So I can sit and type while they present without being rude. It's spectacular.


Highlights

Amigos: an organization that volunteers at clinics to translate(Spanish) in Mexican town (no not Tucson, an area in Detroit) and also takes trips to South Carolina and Mexico to volutnteer at clinics. South Carolina has a law that allows retired doctors to practice as long as they don't get paid and their patients don't have access to other health care. Also holds classes in Medical Spanish at lunch.

Medical Students for Choice: I have often wondered how sick you have to be to make it all the way through medical school and still be able to perform abortions.

World Health Student Organization: sounds cool but I wasn't listening very well because I was writing about Amigos. You can learn about lots of diseases and they have trips around the world.

Asian health association (or something like that): Dedicated to promoting the health of asians.

Black health association: See above

White health association (oops that one doesn't exist)

Covenant House: volunteer at a homless shelter for young adults--mentor, tutor, play games

Co-curricular: a program that allows you to get one month off your senior year if you spent time volunteering your first two years. This would allow you to have a month to do another international rotation, or just not have to do anything for a month.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

On a day

I'm sorry if I sounded bitter. I just hate having time stolen from me. It is a valuable commodity, and though I often waste it, I do value it and resent its theft.

Diversity training is, apparently, a rite of passage at the modern university. A lot of the people at the school went to Michigan so they're used to it. From what I hear, at the U of M you have to sit through entire classes devoted to this subject.

Michigan's state Universities are doing their best to skirt, bend and break the law that was recently passed by an overwhelming number of Michigan voters. In fact the executive vice dean (an old white male) said as much, and then gave us the little wink wink and said, "but none of is in jail yet, so that's good."

I'm sick of the meaningless platitudes. It devalues language. The diversity indusrty has taken a whole group of words and rendered them meaningless. When you sit in one of these seminars, none of it makes any sense unless you let your eyes glaze over a little and try to ignore the actual words. That's how you can tell all this goobledegook was invented by stoned teenagers in the 60's who couldn't be bothered to go to class and actually learn English. Now they impose their lack of sense on us.

Don't worry though, I don't have anything against any gender(though if I were female I think it might be ok to hate males), ethnicity, nationality (except Carthaginians, and sometimes Americans--thats ok isn't it), political party(except communists--oops, they're back in style now), religion (except sun worshipers and goat blood drinkers--are they a protected minority group?) (remember, its sheik to flout Islam{ha ha sometimes I crack myself up}), sexual orientation(just make something new up, it happens all the time), age (unless of course their under 9 months, then we can advocate death), or race (except the race for the cure--with one of the highest success rates I think its time to focus on curing a disease that can potentially affect more than fifty percent of the population)

curiously one of the things you aren't supposed to discriminate against was labeled "Other"

Everybody talked about how prejudice and discrimination shape our society and shared stories about how they've been discriminated against....well all the minorities got to talk about that--they didn't really ask me to speak.

Luckily there was a small coterie of relatively intelligent individuals who recognized this series of activities for what it was. We had a good laugh about it. This upset the facillitator but she wasn't from the University so its ok, she also wasn't quite with it enough to recognize sarcasm(Why is it that people who make their livings talking about diversity never seem to get sarcasm).

On Diversity

How has prejudice affected your life?
>insert sob story here<

Would you rather be a single black female with three children or a sixty year old white aerospace engineer?
(oh yeah the she's a nulear physisist whose husband died in Iraq and he's a child molester)

>really deep and significant conversation about how people aren't what they seem here<

Diversity is good in and of itself.

>light applause and vigorous nodding<

As a arab muslim woman I am persecuted

>more head nodding, sympathetic looks, and grunts of agreement<

Blah Blah Blah

On the beginning

I'm here, waiting for orientation to begin on the second day. Orientation is a slow tortuous process, that seems to be full of waiting for things to start, and waiting for things to end. Today is the feelings day. You know the one that is now mandatory in any university orientation. We get to talk about how everyone is different ad how everyone is the same, and how everybody matters, except of course for anyone who actually thinks something.

more later, We're about to start.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

On being out of shape

I pulled my quadricep...I think. I kicked the soccer ball and my leg complained loudly. Then I could hardly run for the rest of the game. Today it's killing me.

It was fun though. Playing with a nonfunctioning leg really forces you to use your head more and get into position. I did however miss a few plays because I couldn't get the force I needed to into the ball.

Moral of the story: Stretch before you play sports.

Friday, July 27, 2007

On whirly ball

I played whirlyball last night. "What is whirlyball?" you ask. Good question. Basically it's a game where ou ride around on bumper cars and run into each other and try to get a little whiffle ball through a net. It's pretty fun, though it is hard on your body. It's basically one long nonstop whiplash session, with your body being thrown back and forth as yourun into people and they run into you. The worst is where the seatbelt runs across you hips. I've got these big red marks on my hips from the seatbelt.

That is of course preferable to not wearing the satbelt. During the first game I forgot to put my seatbelt on and almost went flying out of the car.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

on 100

This is a completely useless post, but it is number one hundred...so there.

On atheism

About 3 years ago my grandfather joined with three other well-educated elderly men to discuss theology and religion in a weekly group. The stated goal was to examine theology and the central ideas of Christianity (and eventually other religions) and to attempt to find some rational basis for them.

As you all probably know, I myself am a little wary of rational proofs of the existence of God. Their pursuit has led many down the wide road that leads away from faith. In fact, the pursuit of rational foundations led me away from Christianity for a number of years.

The last time I came to Michigan was about two years ago. It was around this time that my grandfather was most involved and invested in the work of this group. I remember at that time that they had reached the conclusion that they needed to scrap everything and begin to build up sa new theology from the ground up by drawing in lots of different religions. They were very much into the Jesus Seminar and took every chance to question, and deny theological truths. I remember that on that particular visit my father was quite upset.

The group continued in this manner, and it eventually became clear that the other three members of the group were drifting (or conciously moving) towards atheism. They continued to ridicule and tear down religious ideas. About a year ago my grandfather began to separate himself from the ideas of he group and to attempt to build rather than destroy.

Due to his close friendship with the gentlemen in question he continued to attend the meetings, but became more and more forceful in his arguments for God. Today he went to his last meeting and told the other members that he would not be returning. Good for him. Now he is faced with the job of rebuilding a faith he has spent years tearing apart.

I know this place well. I have spent the last two years attempting to piece together a faith that I argued against for a long time. I ridiculed, derided, and generally laughed at Christian faith. That makes it more difficult now than it was before to maintain that faith.

There is a promise though, "those who seek will find, those who ask will receive and to those who knock the door will be opened." This has meant a lot to me over the last few years.

I'm bored

We moved in, now I sit around all day twiddling my thumbs. I'm ready and anxious for school to start. Really I'm waiting for the weekend, because then all sorts of stuff will start to happen. I'll play soccer again, we'll go to church again etc. Then on Monday I start. but until then.....

The past couple of days have been difficult though. Floating. We don't have any routines or places yet. So I end up sitting around the house reading or watching TV. Drifting, without purpose, without meaning. I also tend to eat too much when I'm bored. It didn't help that it rained all day yesterday. I couldn't even go out for a bike ride or anything.

I did finish Harry Potter though. I thought it was an excellent finish. A good resolution to a great story.

Anyway, hopefully today I'll be able to find some purpose in life. And it's not raining...yet

1 Thessalonians 4:11

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you may not be dependant on anybody.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

On tires

I got out my bike the othern day

I used it to sort of explore the neighborhood. I rode it down all the paths around our house through the parks and everything to figure out the lay of the land in our general vicinity. It was a sort of a scouting mission for future bike rides and walks. I'm pretty confident now that I won't get lost on a walk in the future. And I pretty much always know the fastest way to get home.

Anyway...about halfway through my bike ride I noticed that my front brake wasn't working. I hadn't hooked it up on arrival...I took the front tires off our bikes to make the move and save space in the truck. But I didn't worry too much about it. It was a pretty leisurely ride. I didn't have any reason to need a front brake.

So yesterday I was going to take another ride. This time I rode down to a park that is a couple miles from the house where there is a little trail that kind of winds around the park for mountain biukes. I thought it would be fun.

So I decided to hook up the front brake before I left, but I couldn't get it to work. The two parts just didn't seem to want to meet up across the top of the tire...which is weird because it was hooked up and working fine up until I loaded it into the truck. So after fighting it for a good 15 minutes down on my knees in front of the bike, nose to the tire, I had had enough and I just went. I figured I could deal with it later.

So I got down to the park and had a good time. I have decided however that when talking about bicycle tires, hybrid really means neither. I got these tires a couple years ago that were supposed to be a cross between raod and mountain tires. I have found over the last couple years that they really don't work that well as road tires...and I found yesterday that they really don't work very well as mountain bike tires...my rear wheel kept slipping (which wasn't good since I didn't have any front brakes.)

As I was on my way back I noticed that the front wheel was making a sound I had never heard before. Thgen I noticed that it still had those little rubber things that new tires have but that generally wear off pretty quickly...then I noticed that it was an actual mountain bike tirem not one of the hybrid tires...then I realized that the reason my brakes weren't working was that I had put AAdrienne's front tire on my bike and hers on mine.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

On Evolution

The $27,000,000.00 Creation Museum was recently opened in Kentucky. I find this a bit depressing for a number of reasons.

1. Its foundation is ignorance. "Creation Science" is the easy way. It is the tempting way. It says here, you don't really need to pay attention in biology class. Just read this one chapter in the Bible and you will know all you need to know. A deeper study, however, of both the Biblical account of our origens and of the explanations offered by science leads to a much better understanding of the issue.

2. It is based on a lie. The fundemental reason for building a museum dedicated to Creation is a false dichotomy set up by certain members of the Christian community between creation and evolution. The idea that they are fundamentally incompatable was first posited by athiests in the late 19th century. It is a lie designed to do damage to the church. Creation and evolution are not incompatible. They can, in fact, work quite nicely together.

3. It is destructive. Religious debate is a very tempting thing. The idea that I can somehow convince you that this is true is alluring. It even works from time to time and can be a good thing. But it is often addictive and destructive. When our goal becomes to prove ourselves right rather than to discover truth, this type of debate destroys relationship and faith. And it is precisely this that a Creation museum encourages. "Here is how you can prove to others that they are wrong."

4. It is wasteful. When Jesus told the story of the sheep and the goats He didn't say "I thought I was once a monkey and you convinced me otherwise." He said "I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you cared for me, I was in prison, and you came to visit me." Think about how much $27 million could help advance one of these goal. It could be a serious endowment for longterm ministry projects around the country or world. Instead it goes to a fance museum. That doesn't even include the 5 million a year they hope to raise in ticket sales. (or for that matter the millions spent every year on phillip Johnson books)

5. It is exploitive. Taking $20 a person as an entrance fee to a second rate museum is just wrong.

It is really the fourth that gets to me the most. You can feel free to believe what you want to believe and argue about what you want to argue about. I don't think your salvation hinges on what you belive about creation/evolution. But I just don't understand how you could see this as the best use of 27 million dollars when there are so many people in the world, starving, naked, thirsty, without shelter, enslaved, refugeed, etc. I think it is sick that someone could be so blinded to the mission of the church. We are called remember, to make this place better, and to help those in need...not to get into petty arguments.

Monday, July 23, 2007

On horses

So we went out to dinner with Grandma and Poppy and Sarah and Mark and Roger and Caroline. We went out to Dexter and saw the shop and then went to the pub next door. It was a lot of fun.

Anyway, the subject somehow turned to horses, and Grandma and Poppy told us an interesting story. Apparently the desire of their son at one point was to become a doctor in Montana and ride from call to call on horseback. I'd never heard that one before, but from what they said that was the goal of medical school at one point. Then everyone agreed that he has, in fact, always loved horses.

It's always interesting to see a new side of your parents. I can see it though. I wonder if it's true. I wonder if a certain occasional commenter on this blog could shed some light on the veracity of the story.

Incedently...welcome back from your trip

Sunday, July 22, 2007

on Wal-Mart

I was having a conversation recently and the person i was talking to said something like...Sam Walton is the Devil. Now there are all sorts of arguments for this position...Wal-Mart doesn't allow unions...they don't provide health care for employees...they drive product quality down...it drives small businesses out of business and destroyes local economies...etc...

Now I personally am not a big fan of Wal-Mart. The products tend to be a little cheap, they don't last as long as i would like them to, the stores are busy and confusing, and its difficult to get anyone to help you. So i don't really shop there much.

But arguing against Wal-Mart on principle, and trying to outlaw "big-box" stores is a pretty arogant thing to do. Wal-Mart is popular...even though the rich, well-educated people I tend to hang with and who tend to read this blog won't admit to liking it, it is popular. You don't get to be the biggest retailer in the world with a company bigger than the entire economy of Germany, without doing something right. WM provides a service that a whole lot of people want.

And the important thing to note is that it is very popular with lower-income people. It is popular with people who don't often have a say in public policy or opinion. But it is popular. So in saying "Sam Walton is the devil" basically what you are saying is that all those people who shop there and who make WM into a successful retaIler are too stupid to make decisions for themselves, sop we should just tell them what to do.

The thing is, WM has never forced anyone to shop there, or forced anyone to work there. They have never held a gun to my head and mugged me the way the government does every day. In fact WM has been harrassed, bullied, pushed around, insulted...by local, state and federal agencies across the country. Sam Walton actually seems like he must have been a very nice man. All he did was recognize a need and fill it. He did far more than anyone I know to feed the hungry,, clothe the naked, give shelter(I'm speaking of providing affordable goods for sale and bringing all sorts of products within the price range of normal or poor people.)...etc...than most people I know. And all he gets for it is people with their noses in the air saying things like "Sam Walton is the Devil"